"But the ropes we use to bind prisoner's in 0bama's secret prison are made IN AMERICA, by UNION employees."
"Didn't you guys know that the Nobel Peace Prize comes with detachable coupons for human rights abuses? 0bama's just cashing a couple of them in, that's all."
"You don't understand: these terrorists were plotting to blow up every golf course in a 100 mile radius of the White House!"
"0bama sat with his wartime tribunal of Sean Penn, Margaret Cho, Danny Glover, Janeane Garofalo, George Clooney, Oprah, Harry Belafonte, Cher, and Rosie O'Donnell. They APPROVED the secret prison as long as each of them got to sniff a pair of 0bama's used boxers for a minute apiece."