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Somewhere in the Flint suburb of Grand Blanc, Michigan, Karl Welzein wakes up every morning in his best friend Dave’s house. That is, if he doesn’t wake up in his beloved Chrysler Sebring. Or next to a dumpster behind the Chili’s. Or on the deck, passed out in front of a grill with an entire package of burnt Johnsonville brats on it. Karl lives with Dave because his estranged wife Ann kicked him out. Karl is fine with this arrangement because Ann and the kids, especially his Harry Potter-loving son, get on his nerves. After he gets up, he’ll probably shamble in to work a few hours late, where he’ll do some pushups in the john after his hated supervisor gets on his case. Afterwards, he’ll head to local watering hole Paddy’s for some Top Shelf Margs, and potentially work up enough energy to show off his dance moves on the floor, working the babes up into a carnal frenzy. He’ll probably sing some Seger.But forgive me, we were talking about how the man whose average day I just described in more detail than I could provide about any of my friends doesn’t exist…Karl is completely fictional, the product of an as-yet unidentified creator who has been updating the account since April 14th, 2010. But read the 5.8 posts per day from his Twitter feed @DadBoner (yes, DadBoner, don’t Google Image Search it) for a while, and this is easy to forget. Karl arrived on Twitter fully formed: his first tweet was what has proved to be his most iconic and repeated catchphrase: “Really lookin’ forward to the weekend you guysâ€, which he’s gone on to repeat nearly every Thursday since he began tweeting. He’s since amassed over 42,000 followers, thanks in part to endorsements from comedy heavy hitters like Patton Oswalt. The list of other Twitter accounts Karl follows is carefully curated to reflect his persona (celebrities he’d want to hang with, babes, Detroit athletes and fast food brands), but he’s only rarely acknowledged that Twitter has the potential to be a two way conversation. And while he routinely addresses his followers with the collective “You guys†, the last time DadBoner responded directly to any of them was May 13th, 2010.But this doesn’t mean that Karl’s feed is simply an isolated reflection of his own thoughts. Far from it, the DadBoner Universe has established itself as dynamic a place to live as The Simpson’s Springfield, with colorful recurring characters popping up at every turn. Each one allows a bit more of Karl’s personality to be revealed, from the charmingly clueless racism brought out by black co-worker Vernon, or the hostile disdain for Ann’s friend Tina Carlson, whose thoroughly warranted, appalled reactions to Karl’s behavior get her branded an uptight sack of crap with a catcher’s mitt mug. Though everyone in town is presented to us through Karl’s filter, the reader is always aware what the other characters are actually thinking. Part of DadBoner’s brilliance is that it seamlessly mixes this narrative of ‘reality’ with Karl’s interpretation of it. As he relates to us how a character responded to his new earring or dance moves, we are instantly aware of their revulsion and disgust, while at the same time laughing as Karl puts his delusional, positive spin on it. The fact that the truth is so blatant makes his failure to comprehend it all the more hilarious.
I guess I'm not following anything.
