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Author Topic: primitives discuss conubial flatulence  (Read 3500 times)

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Offline Mike B the Cajun

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Re: primitives discuss conubial flatulence
« Reply #25 on: May 13, 2012, 07:41:29 AM »
This could get interesting...    :popcorn:
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Don't get stuck on stupid...

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Offline diesel driver

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Re: primitives discuss conubial flatulence
« Reply #26 on: May 13, 2012, 08:31:09 AM »
Quote from: franksolich on May 12, 2012, 09:12:22 AM
Well, yeah, I'm aware of that, because well, I'm a guy number one, and number two, I lived and worked with rowdy people from since I was a teenager.

Me, myself, though, I go elsewhere, where I'm alone, to let loose.

The biggest explosion occurred when I was in the socialist paradises of the workers and peasants, and developed a, uh, intestinal problem that gave me much distress, and it bloated me, expanding my girth. 

It was obvious what it was, and this being the socialist paradises, there was no medical care around.

Fortunately, I remembered reading a diary of a physician with the British army in Afghanistan during the 1840s, about when most of the men were laid low with an intestinal parasite.  He put them on coarse rice with water.

I did that; I dined on nothing but brown rice for three days.

Some time the night of the third day, I felt the need, and rushed outside, far away from everybody.

I swear, that had to be the longest one I ever let loose--some minutes, without interruption--and by the time I was done, my waist had shrunk back to its normal 33".

It was so long and uninterrupted.

I dunno if I created any odor or not.

After that, I was healthy again, no problems.

Ron White:  "You ever take a crap so big that your pants fit better?"   :rotf:
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Offline franksolich

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Re: primitives discuss conubial flatulence
« Reply #27 on: May 13, 2012, 08:44:07 AM »
Quote from: diesel driver on May 13, 2012, 08:31:09 AM
Ron White:  "You ever take a crap so big that your pants fit better?"   :rotf:

I'm sure there was enough gas in there to send a diesel-powered semi-truck a couple of hundred miles down the road.  But as it happened out on the desolate steppes of southern Russia, no harm done.

I'm sure it was steady and uninterrupted for at least three minutes, maybe even more.

And yes, my middle had shrunk considerably when I was done.

I've since wondered why cattle who eat too-green alfalfa never developed this technique; if one's full of intestinal gas, it's probably a good idea to blow it out.

In private, of course.
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apres moi, le deluge

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Offline Ballygrl

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Re: primitives discuss conubial flatulence
« Reply #28 on: May 13, 2012, 08:51:19 AM »
1 thing I've noticed, is that people who have the worst gas are the skinny people who are health-food nuts.
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Offline Rufus2010

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Re: primitives discuss conubial flatulence
« Reply #29 on: May 13, 2012, 03:59:11 PM »
I've heard vegetarians have the worst farts ever. Methinks the DUmmie OP and his wife are vegans...
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