AIRPORT SCREENING RESULTS!
January Statistics On Airport Screening From The Department Of Homeland Security:
Terrorists Discovered: 0
Transvestites: 133
Hernias: 1,485
Hemorrhoid Cases: 3,172
Enlarged Prostates: 8,249
Breast Implants: 59,350
Natural Blondes: 3
It was also discovered that 535 congress representatives had no balls.