As long as we're re-writing history I would like to offer:
In December of 2000 George Bush Jr. announced that he would end the appeals process and not seek an opinion of the US Supreme Court, instead relegating controversial recount to the mandate of the Florida Supreme Court. Although his supporters begged him not to do so the younger Bush insisted that statesmanship demanded the country not be torn asunder. The subsequent recount in the heavily democrat Palm Beach, Broward and Dade counties secured Gore’s victory. However, the celebrations were short-lived when subsequent investigations by major media outlets and non-partisan advocacy groups revealed Bush would have won Florida if a statewide recount had been affected. Despite the revelation Gore refused to concede his election and was sworn in January 20, 2009. The GOP members of the house and senate boycotted the inaugural events while Gore’s progressive supporters vowed a new era in politics free of the taint of partisanship. The charge of illegitimacy was to dog Gore throughout his term.
Having denied allegations the nation was entering a recession during the campaign “president†Gore enacted broad-sweeping regulations of major industries to combat global warming through the EPA after failing to move his proposals through a bitter and hostile congress. When the Enron scandal broke Gore seized upon the opportunity to enact additional restrictions on numerous other industries in the name of oversight. The SEC, IRS and FBI were used scour the records of virtually every major corporation for evidence of malfeasance and when none were found, as was the case in most circumstances, “windfall profit†penalties were imposed. Stock investments all but crawled to a halt as Wall Street experienced its largest single-day sell-off since 1929.
After September 11, 2001 Gore emerged from his undisclosed bunker 3 days later to direct Richard Holbrooke to meet the Taliban in Kabul for direct talks negotiate the surrender of Osama bin Laden; vowing in advance there would be no military strikes in the new era. Perceiving a lack of resolve Iraq was able to finally shrug off the last of the failing UN sanctions. Iran sought to further expand its influence in the Gulf region. By 2003 numerous wars, revolutionary movements and terrorist campaigns had erupted throughout the Middle East. Israel was under seige prompting Vice President Lieberman to resign in protest over Gore's lack of action and confused policies.
Not only had the Taliban refused to surrender bin Laden but Secretary of State Holbrooke was taken hostage a situation that would not be relieved until 12:01 EST, January 20th, 2005 with the swearing-in of President Coulter, who nonetheless nuked Afghanistan's capital and put Baghdad, Tehran and Mecca on short notice for equal treatment if matters did not improve within days. White House press secretary and first-husband Snuggle Bunny explained to a nervous clutch of reporters, "Hey, bitches were warned" before announcing he had a new thong to try on thus ending President Coulter's first and only statement to the press.
