Author Topic: With video: Godzilla the wild turkey stalks Commerce Township woman  (Read 1784 times)

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Offline BlueStateSaint

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I wasn't sure where to put this one, so I put it here.  There's a poll on the left margin of the link about what to do with the thing.  I didn't see a "turkey-choked shotgun with BBs" option, so I chose the 3-wood option . . .

Quote
With video: Godzilla the wild turkey stalks Commerce Township woman

March 5, 2012  | 41 Comments



A neighbor has stalked Edna Geisler for two months. He lurks in her front yard, screeching at her constantly, even jumping out occasionally and attacking her when she dares wander outside alone.

"I'm afraid to go out of my house," said Geisler, 69. "I have to go to the post office at 6 o'clock in the morning to avoid him."

When she returned home with groceries recently, Geisler couldn't get in her front door.
 
"I had to go next door to the neighbors and have him use a push broom to keep him away while I brought the groceries in," Geisler said.

Her stalker is a large, mature, tom turkey who believes Geisler's front yard in Commerce Township is his. Geisler said she calls him Godzilla.

One word--"shotgun."  Yeah, it's kinda close to other houses, but it probably could be pulled off.

The link is here:  http://www.freep.com/article/20120305/NEWS03/203050334/With-video-Godzilla-the-wild-turkey-stalks-Commerce-Township-woman?odyssey=tab%7Cmostpopular%7Ctext%7CFRONTPAGE
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
Chase her even when she's yours.
That's the only way you'll be assured to never lose her.

Offline catsmtrods

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Re: With video: Godzilla the wild turkey stalks Commerce Township woman
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2012, 03:51:18 PM »
Really? One salmon size fish net with a long handle and the car trunk. Or my way the razor sharp machete! 
"Liberalism is an essentially feminine, submissive world view. Perhaps a better adjective than feminine is infantile. It is the world view of men who do not have the moral toughness, the spiritual strength to stand up and do single combat with life, who cannot adjust to the reality that the world is not a huge, pink-and-blue, padded nursery in which the lions lie down with the lambs and everyone lives happily ever after."


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Offline Chris_

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Re: With video: Godzilla the wild turkey stalks Commerce Township woman
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2012, 03:59:21 PM »
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What would you do about the Commerce Township attack turkey?
  • Chase him out of the yard with an open umbrella.
  • Try talking it out. Be firm, but understanding.
  • Call animal control and have it removed.
  • Attack back, a 3-wood would do the job.
  • Nothing. Turkeys have rights, too.
Seriously? :rotf:
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Offline Eupher

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Re: With video: Godzilla the wild turkey stalks Commerce Township woman
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2012, 04:25:21 PM »
I was attacked by a Canada goose while cruising past a gaggle of 'em while I was riding my Honda 919. Sumbitch actually flew after me and was determined to knock me off the bike.

It was springtime in Ohio. Love was in the air.  :rotf:
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Offline thundley4

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Re: With video: Godzilla the wild turkey stalks Commerce Township woman
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2012, 04:42:41 PM »
When I was young we raised geese, and had a big white gander that would not stay penned up.  We always new when it got loose, because it would immediately chase after my mom when she walked out the door.  I don't know which was louder her or the honking.

Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: With video: Godzilla the wild turkey stalks Commerce Township woman
« Reply #5 on: March 08, 2012, 05:29:33 PM »
Only liberals could be threatened by their own dinner.
According to the Bible, "know" means "yes."

Offline EagleKeeper

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Re: With video: Godzilla the wild turkey stalks Commerce Township woman
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2012, 05:38:26 PM »
I'd have thrown my damn cat at it.

As much as she makes me bleed, the turkey would have wound up in her food dish.

And I could get a good nights sleep.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
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Offline Ptarmigan

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Re: With video: Godzilla the wild turkey stalks Commerce Township woman
« Reply #7 on: March 08, 2012, 07:04:53 PM »
Now if that was a ptarmigan....................  :fuelfire:
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: With video: Godzilla the wild turkey stalks Commerce Township woman
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2012, 06:58:59 AM »
Now if that was a ptarmigan....................  :fuelfire:

One baby bunny would be all that would be needed. :tongue: :fuelfire:
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
Chase her even when she's yours.
That's the only way you'll be assured to never lose her.

Offline Toastedturningtidelegs

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Re: With video: Godzilla the wild turkey stalks Commerce Township woman
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2012, 07:53:58 AM »
This is right up the road from where i work. The woman is 69 years old so i kind of understand her not wanting to tussle with the tom, but...There are houses around her! None of the guys who live in those houses can go over there and either shoot him or for chrissake take his head off with a baseball bat? :lmao: I think i may stop by this ladies house on my way to my second job one day and take care of ole "Godzilla"  :-)
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: With video: Godzilla the wild turkey stalks Commerce Township woman
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2012, 09:23:35 AM »
This is right up the road from where i work. The woman is 69 years old so i kind of understand her not wanting to tussle with the tom, but...There are houses around her! None of the guys who live in those houses can go over there and either shoot him or for chrissake take his head off with a baseball bat? :lmao: I think i may stop by this ladies house on my way to my second job one day and take care of ole "Godzilla"  :-)

Doing your best "King Kong" impersonation . . .

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PBbK8tkTE8[/youtube]
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
Chase her even when she's yours.
That's the only way you'll be assured to never lose her.