Author Topic: DUmmy wants to fart, especially at work (guess the first 5 letters of his nick)  (Read 6134 times)

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Offline dixierose

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Nothing smells as bad as a brussel sprout fart...my boyfriend loved brussel sprouts, and I pay the price the next day. YUK.
When Harry Truman was President of the United States, he had a sign on his desk in the White House that said: "The buck stops here." If Barack Obama had a sign on his desk, it would say: "The buck stops with Bush." - Thomas Sowell

Offline Skul

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I cracked one in the car once.
Had to pull over and get out..

Not only that, it was a convertable, and the top was down.
Then-Chief Justice John Marshall observed, “Between a balanced republic and a democracy, the difference is like that between order and chaos.”

John Adams warned in a letter, “Remember democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet, that did not commit suicide.”

Offline Gina

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I cracked one in the car once.
Had to pull over and get out..

Not only that, it was a convertable, and the top was down.
:lmao:






"An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer." Phillip of Macedonia, father to Alexander.

Offline FlaGator

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I would strongly suggest that the OP trying acting like a grown up instead of a prepubescent twit.
"My enemy's enemy is the enemy I kill last."
Klingon Proverb.

Offline DumbAss Tanker

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I would strongly suggest that the OP trying acting like a grown up instead of a prepubescent twit.

Now THERE'S a "Plan A" that just begs to have a "Plan B" waiting in the wings.

 :-)
Go and tell the Spartans, O traveler passing by
That here, obedient to their law, we lie.

Anything worth shooting once is worth shooting at least twice.

Offline BlueStateSaint

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Farting should be kept to where it belongs...

...elevators and church.

I've got two more farting stories, which happened within a day of each other, back when I was in high school.  At our small Catholic HS, we would all take our mid-terms and finals in the gym, which had been filled with desks for this purpose.  One day during the January exams, one of my classmates let go with one that echoed throughout the gym.  Though, some people didn't hear it right away--being a senior then, I knew exactly who had done it at the other corner of the gym.  A cute freshman girl (her name was Julie) who was in my homeroom gave me one of these looks as if to ask, "WTF?"  I leaned over as if to do a "one cheek sneak."  The look on Julie's face turned to utter disgust . . .

. . . The very next day, I was sitting in roughly the same area for another final, and my brother was across the gym, a row or two away.  Sure enough, I hear him drop one.  His fellow students were picking their desks up and moving them as much as they could, to get away from him.  As for my brother, . . . it was kinda obvious that he had let go, because all he did was sit there laughing silently.  
« Last Edit: February 15, 2012, 04:08:50 PM by BlueStateSaint »
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

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Chase her.
Chase her even when she's yours.
That's the only way you'll be assured to never lose her.

Offline obumazombie

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Farting should be kept to where it belongs...

...elevators and church.

And dutch ovens.
There were only two options for gender. At last count there are at least 12, according to libs. By that standard, I'm a male lesbian.

Offline Skul

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There really is a little known trick when tooting in the tabernacle.
If one pays attention to detail, you'll often notice that when the sphincter sings,
the people next to offender pretend it never happened, and look straight ahead.
The folks on the side of them, generally will turn and look.
Here's the trick.
When the butt barks, quickly turn and look at your sister and scowl.
You know exactly who's going to get the blame for it.  :lmao:
Then-Chief Justice John Marshall observed, “Between a balanced republic and a democracy, the difference is like that between order and chaos.”

John Adams warned in a letter, “Remember democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet, that did not commit suicide.”

Offline Gina

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There really is a little known trick when tooting in the tabernacle.
If one pays attention to detail, you'll often notice that when the sphincter sings,
the people next to offender pretend it never happened, and look straight ahead.
The folks on the side of them, generally will turn and look.
Here's the trick.
When the butt barks, quickly turn and look at your sister and scowl.
You know exactly who's going to get the blame for it.  :lmao:
I do that to my hubby in church






"An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer." Phillip of Macedonia, father to Alexander.