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I’ve edited a monthly magazine for more than six years, and it’s a job that’s come with more frustration than reward. If there’s one thing I am grateful for — and it sure isn’t the pay — it’s that my work has allowed endless time to hone my craft to Louis Skolnick levels of grammar geekery.As someone who slings red ink for a living, let me tell you: grammar is an ultra-micro component in the larger picture; it lies somewhere in the final steps of the editing trail; and as such it’s an overrated quasi-irrelevancy in the creative process, perpetuated into importance primarily by bitter nerds who accumulate tweed jackets and crippling inferiority complexes. But experience has also taught me that readers, for better or worse, will approach your work with a jaundiced eye and an itch to judge. While your grammar shouldn’t be a reflection of your creative powers or writing abilities, let’s face it — it usually is.Below are 20 common grammar mistakes I see routinely, not only in editorial queries and submissions, but in print: in HR manuals, blogs, magazines, newspapers, trade journals, and even best selling novels. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve made each of these mistakes a hundred times, and I know some of the best authors in history have lived to see these very toadstools appear in print. Let's hope you can learn from some of their more famous mistakes.
. The most common mistake occurs when the writer uses the past tense of the transitive “lay†(e.g., I laid on the bed) when he/she actually means the intransitive past tense of “lie" (e.g., blah blah blah
This article was very impactful and really affected me in a nauseous irony.
my left ass cheek is twitching.
Gosh, now you have the right one doing it too!
Misteaks in grammer we know better thanFrom an Article by William Safire• Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.• Don’t use no double negatives.• Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn’t.• Reserve the apostrophe for it’s proper use and omit it when its not needed.• Do not put statements in the negative form.• No sentence fragments.• Verbs has to agree with their subjects.• Avoid commas, that are not necessary.• Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.• If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.• A writer must not shift your point of view.• Eschew dialect, irregardless• And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.• Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!!!!!!!• Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.• Hyphenate between syllables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.• Write all adverbial forms correct.• Don’t use contractions in formal writing.• Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.• It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.• If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.• Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have snuck in the language.• Take the bull by the horns and avoid mixed metaphors.• Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.• Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.• Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.• If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, resist hyperbole.• Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.• Don’t string too many prepositional phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.• Always pick on the correct idiom.• “Avoid overuse of ‘quotation “marks.â€â€™â€â€¢ The adverb always follows the verb.• Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.• If a dependent clause precedes an independent clause put a comma after the dependent clause.• One will not have needed the future perfect in one’s entire life.• Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.• If this were subjunctive, I’m in the wrong mood.• Surly grammarians insist that all words ending in “ly†are adverbs.• De-accession euphemisms.• In statements involving two word phrases, make an all out effort to use hyphens.• It is not resultful to transform one part of speech into another by prefixing, suffixing, or other alterings.• Avoid colloquial stuff.• The passive voice should never be used.• Remember to never split an infinitive.• Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives. (And check you’re speeling!)
Get 'em synched, and it's off to the races!
get them synched and I am gonna fart
You always were a real gas to be around!
they don't call me stinkalottapus for nothing
