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Author Topic: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker  (Read 2898 times)

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Offline bijou

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Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« on: January 20, 2012, 12:52:14 PM »
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Meet Savannah “Bambam” Rios, accused testicle puncher.

The Utah woman, 24, is facing several felony charges--kidnapping, robbery, sexual abuse--after a bizarre attack last week on a man she recently dated.

Rios, pictured in the mug shot at right, allegedly confronted the man last Wednesday after he accused her of swiping some of his belongings. The victim told police that he went to meet with Rios at a Salt Lake City residence, where he “was lead to a back backroom” where she was seated on the bed.

The male victim--identified only by the initials “G.A.”--said that Rios slapped him several times, pulled out a knife, and asked him, “You wanna die?”

That’s when things got weird.

According to a probable cause affidavit, Rios ordered “G.A.” to remove his clothes. After he complied, Rios grabbed the man’s belt and “wrapped it around her hand, and hit him several times in the ‘balls.’”     

  ...
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Wow she must have been nuts to do something like that.
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Offline Rugnuts

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Re: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2012, 01:02:59 PM »
legalize prostitution. These are the hazards of the black market.
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2012, 10:01:40 PM »
He couldn't have been much of a strapping fella to have been abused in that way.

Getting sacked like can't be fun.
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Offline Delmar

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Re: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2012, 10:17:53 PM »
Quote from: Eupher on January 21, 2012, 10:01:40 PM
He couldn't have been much of a strapping fella to have been abused in that way.

Getting sacked like can't be fun.
He probably could've gotten away if he'd really wanted to but when she ordered him to take off his clothes he thought he was going to be having sex with her one last time.
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2012, 10:27:37 PM »
Quote from: Delmar on January 21, 2012, 10:17:53 PM
He probably could've gotten away if he'd really wanted to but when she ordered him to take off his clothes he thought he was going to be having sex with her one last time.

 :-)

Yes, I realize all that. Usually when bijou posts these kinds of stories, we try to enter into a pun contest. This particular story has lots of opportunity for puns.
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Offline FreeBorn

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Re: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2012, 10:33:19 PM »
Quote from: Eupher on January 21, 2012, 10:01:40 PM
He couldn't have been much of a strapping fella to have been abused in that way.

Getting sacked like can't be fun.
Eupher coins one for the DUmmie dictionary  :rotf: +1!
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Offline FreeBorn

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Re: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2012, 10:38:12 PM »
I must say that neck tattoo is such a turn on, ou la la!

"Man"? What sort of "man" would meekly submit to this? Was she eight feet tall with shoulders like a linebacker?

Knife or not, if he fell victim to this then he deserved not only what he got but she should have lopped them off and had herself a new pair of earrings for the effort.

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Offline Wayne

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Re: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« Reply #7 on: January 22, 2012, 06:49:16 AM »
  I wonder if he will get sacked from his job for causing all these headlines. Speaks volumes for the brown bag lunch crowd.
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2012, 07:16:49 AM »
So far in the game, she has hit a double, 2 homeruns and the count now stands at 2 balls and one strike.
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« Reply #9 on: January 22, 2012, 09:08:05 AM »
She is certainly ahead of the game.
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Offline bijou

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Re: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2012, 03:16:42 PM »
Poor guy was shafted  :bawl:
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« Reply #11 on: January 23, 2012, 03:36:32 PM »
Quote from: bijou on January 23, 2012, 03:16:42 PM
Poor guy was shafted  :bawl:

I dunno. I think his defense was rather flaccid.
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Offline bijou

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Re: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« Reply #12 on: January 23, 2012, 03:39:43 PM »
I think the prosecutor's resolve was stiffened by the amount of publicity there was.
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« Reply #13 on: January 23, 2012, 03:46:19 PM »

That's true, but the prosecutor's performance drooped toward the end. He simply couldn't get it up anymore, and the jury pulled out when making their verdickt.

(This one's headed right for the Short Bus.)   :rotf:   :lmao:
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Offline bijou

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Re: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« Reply #14 on: January 23, 2012, 03:50:37 PM »
Sad the way the case just limped to a conclusion.
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Cops Collar Bambam The Testicle Attacker
« Reply #15 on: January 23, 2012, 03:52:30 PM »
Quote from: bijou on January 23, 2012, 03:50:37 PM
Sad the way the case just limped to a conclusion.

On the contrary! Ten of the 12 jurists experienced a shattering climax when the verdickt was read!
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