Monday I was at home minding my own business, not bothering anyone. The day was overcast but around 11:00 am the pager for the local volunteer FD went-off with its tell-tale intonations: Our station was being called to motor vehicle accidents 25 miles away because the 2 nearest cities were overwhelmed.
After the 45 minute response time we got on-scene to see a silver Ford Expedition on its side. The local commander was already there and the driver was non-emergent. Still, he was wandering around in a daze, shocked. The contents of his vehicle were strewn down the length of the accident scene including personal effects, groceries and a number of holiday gifts half-torn from their wrappings.
Elsewhere the FDs were dealing with a 3-car pile-up and we were sent down range to assist Colorado State Patrol for other accidents reported and still occurring. We happened upon 2 more spin-outs and observed another from the opposite side of I-70.
An elderly couple rolled their car multiple times. Seatbelts or not an 80-something year old body cannot withstand that sort of shock.
They turned the local Post Office into an emergency operations center and the school (where my bunlet attends) was converted into a makeshift shelter as the number of people--minus those being transported to hospitals--turned into a refugee shelter for the now-vehicleless masses awaiting friends and family to pick them up. Within 2 hours their numbers pushed into the double digits.
All the accidents that resulted in all of this occurred within the space of 30 minutes.
The fog had rolled-in and because it was sub-freezing the highway became a sheet of ice.
* DO NOT TAKE ROAD CONDITIONS FOR GRANTED - You cannot tell the difference between wet pavement and ice until you have lost control of your vehicle.
* DO NOT PUT FAITH IN YOUR VEHICLE - As I said, the first vehicle was an Expedition, the spin-out we observed was a Jeep 4 x 4. It does not matter what your vehicle's weight, center of gravity, wheelbase or tire-width measure out to, if there is a sheet of ice between you and the road you got bupkiss.
* DO NOT PUT FAITH IN YOURSELF - Every retard on his head swore he knew what he was doing and that he was a good driver. The people who said, "I don't think I can do this" were safely parked on the side of the road or at the Waffle House having coffee. Waffle House has OK coffee, go get some.
* DO NOT PUT FAITH IN THE OTHER DRIVERS - A spinning car swats other cars that get in its way. You cannot get out of their way and they cannot get out of your way if your lose control. It's icy, remember? Stop being a retard.
* PAY ATTENTION - If you see fog and the temp is below 32-degrees put 2 + 2 together enough to realize the ice is mere minutes from forming. It's not if, it's when. Plain physics. Nothing will make that change.
* PULL THE **** OVER - Road crews will be along to scrape and/or salt the road and/or the other idiots will churn up the ice for you but I promise you: the hour you spend sitting there listening to today's lite hits on the radio is far, far less than the time you will spend A) dealing with the insurance agency B) finding a new car C) recuperating in ICU D) mourning a lost loved one E) answering to the judge why you knocked another family off the road
Don't be screwin' around. You'll just piss me off.
And then I'm going to laugh at you.
Carry-on
