Purina Dog Chow

[CG6468]

I was at my local Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Jake the Wonder Dog, and was waiting in the check-out line when a woman asked me if I had a dog.

    What did she think I had, an alligator?

    So, on impulse, I told her "No, I don't have a dog. I'm starting the Purina Diet again." I added that "I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms."

    I told her that it was a perfect diet, and the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

    Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
 
    "No," I told her, "I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and got hit by a car."