El Jefe: "But here’s the problem: It doesn’t work. It has never worked."
Well, here's the thing: your perception of whether or not it works pretty much depends on what you're trying to get it to do.
A bone china teacup works wonderfully well as a vessel for holding and consuming Earl Grey.
It does not function nearly as well as a hammer.
If you want a limited government to provide a basic framework upon which people can use natural ingenuity, common sense and a healthy work ethic to build a nation that can save the rest of the world from itself three times over, while managing to raise the living standard of natives in the bush thousands of miles away, etc etc etc, then it'll work for that.
If you want it to provide a lower-middle-class standard of living, to anyone who applies, without expecting them to do anything but sit, eat, poop, procreate and vote for you every time you send a van to pick 'em up, then it's not going to work for you.
And that's just one example.
Put to its proper use, it is true that "that government functions best that functions least" or werdz 2 dat effeck.