Author Topic: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike  (Read 2456 times)

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Offline GOBUCKS

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Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« on: October 03, 2011, 09:42:20 PM »
DUmmy Sub Atomic wants a feee mountain bike. He throws in some bouncy details that he hopes will help:
Quote
Sub Atomic (1000+ posts)      Mon Oct-03-11 10:02 PM
Original message
My bike got stolen.
Sometime between yesterday at 12:30 pm and today at 4:45 pm, my bicycle was stolen.

I bought this bike after my last bike was destroyed in a hit and run accident. I was battered and bruised, but my bike was destroyed.

If there's anyone around Denver that has a mountain bike collecting dust in their closet that wouldn't mind loaning it out for a good beating until I can afford to buy another one, I would truly appreciate the loaner.

Thanks for your help.
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In Colorado, check out DUmmy bobbolink. I think she's dead, and you may be able to scrape her carcass out of the Buick, and have yourself
a free car, and home.


First response is from the hateful DUmmette PeaceNikki.
Don't expect help from this raving lunatic:
Quote
PeaceNikki  (1000+ posts)        Mon Oct-03-11 10:04 PM
Response to Original message
1. :(
I'm sorry. I hope someone can help you out.



Quote
xmas74  (1000+ posts)        Mon Oct-03-11 10:08 PM
Response to Original message
5. Wish I could help.
Post for your local Freecycle. Someone might have something for you.

Gee, uh, wish I could help, and stuff.
 

Quote
Kennah  (1000+ posts)        Mon Oct-03-11 10:11 PM
Response to Original message
6. Check out Craigslist and also Bikeforums.net
There are sometimes FREE, or nearly FREE, functioning bikes on Craigslist.

Craigslist is chock full of great free stuff.

What struck me about this thread is that so far none of the DUmbasses have suggested that he steal someone else's bike.
That would be the normal DUmmy response to his situation.

Offline franksolich

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2011, 09:46:44 PM »
What struck me about this thread is that so far none of the DUmbasses have suggested that he steal someone else's bike.

That would be the normal DUmmy response to his situation.

I'm surprised too, but as the campfire ages, I assume that's going to come up.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2011, 09:58:04 PM »
Quote
applegrove  (1000+ posts)      Mon Oct-03-11 10:43 PM
Response to Original message
10. That happened to me once. I was housesitting and stopped in to check on the house one day.
 I was inside for maybe an hour. Parked the bike around the back of the house. Someone was probably watching me. When I went to leave the bike was gone. The worst thing was it didn't belong to me - it was my dad's bike.

DUmmy sold his dad's bike to buy weed.

Offline Delmar

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2011, 10:02:05 PM »
DUmmy needs a mountain bike?  Plenty of great old 10 speed road bikes available for next to nothing.  DUmmy's last bike got wrecked in a hit and run?  A hit and run with a bighorn sheep?  Next bike got stolen?  By a fur trapper up there in those mountains?  I got my vintage Schwinn Traveler in primo shape from an old friend for $20.  He would've given it to me but I insisted on at least $20.  DUmmy Subnormal probably only needs a bike for making beer and cigarette runs to the Kwik Trip since he lost his drivers license for DUI anyway.  
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Offline thundley4

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #4 on: October 03, 2011, 11:26:05 PM »
The subatomic primitive is now going to do the liberal thing and sue their landlord .

Offline LC EFA

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #5 on: October 03, 2011, 11:43:41 PM »
Your bike wasn't stolen. It was redistributed to one of those poor people you assholes keep harping on about helping.

Eat the rich and steal redistribute their loot eh. Sucks when that boot is on your foot.

You should feel proud that you did your bit.


« Last Edit: October 04, 2011, 04:58:20 AM by LC EFA »

Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #6 on: October 04, 2011, 04:16:05 AM »
All this over a dang bike...sheeeesh!

Dang DUmmie would blow his brains out if he had had as much stuff stolen from him as I have had stolen in just the past year....and when I add up what I've lost to thieves in the past 40 years with not a damn single person being prosecuted for it...I just about want to blow my brains out. :argh:

I've involuntarily redistributed enough of my wealth to the "disenfranchised". :argh:
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Offline FlippyDoo

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #7 on: October 04, 2011, 05:28:11 AM »
The possibility does exist that the person who stole the bike actually had no bike of their own and needed it more than Sub Atomic. This individual may have decided to do the socialistic/communistic/liberal thing and take from the haves (Sub Atomic) and give to the have-nots (himself).

The boar hog tits at DUnceland should be applauding the bike redistributer for living up to DUmp ideals.
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Offline Karin

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #8 on: October 04, 2011, 07:24:48 AM »
You guys are absolutely right.  The bike was simply redistributed.  End of story.  The thief needed it worse, and felt it was no less than he deserved. 


Offline Tucker

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #9 on: October 04, 2011, 07:38:45 AM »
Damn.

I was hoping it was Taterguy's bike that was stolen.

That would have been good for a three week rant.
Come to think of it, unions do create jobs. Companies have to hire two workers to do the work of one.

Offline jukin

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #10 on: October 04, 2011, 10:12:08 AM »
Borrow? Right. With the DUches previous record of 1 bike destroyed and 1 bike stolen, you won't be seeing that bike back.
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Offline Paul Heinzman

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #11 on: October 04, 2011, 01:01:02 PM »
This box contains over 217 bits and pieces of information, evidence. Exhibit A: A photograph of the victims, my bike and me.

Exhibit B: Another photograph. What's missing from this picture? It's just me WITHOUT MY BIKE!

All this over a dang bike...sheeeesh!

Is this something you can share with the rest of us Amazing Larry?

Offline Paul Heinzman

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #12 on: October 04, 2011, 01:12:57 PM »
Quote
In Colorado, check out DUmmy bobbolink. I think she's dead, and you may be able to scrape her carcass out of the Buick, and have yourself
a free car, and home.  


 :rotf: You so baaaad.  :rotf:
« Last Edit: October 04, 2011, 02:29:52 PM by TVDOC »

Offline shadeaux

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #13 on: October 04, 2011, 02:50:04 PM »
I cannot believe this.  Not one DUmmy offered to buy him another bike.  That's just hateful.

They all brag about being upper middle class.  Buy him a bike !   :censored:    :-)

Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #14 on: October 04, 2011, 04:20:26 PM »
I cannot believe this.  Not one DUmmy offered to buy him another bike.  That's just hateful.

They all brag about being upper middle class.  Buy him a bike ! 
You have a point. The CalPig just got back from a vacation in Iceland, for chrissakes!

She buys DUmp stars for half the people at FR!

She could buy this freeloader a Harley just on royalties from her poetry.

Offline vesta111

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #15 on: October 05, 2011, 05:17:28 AM »
Police department has impound, go check out see if they have your bike.   Police have auctions to sell stolen goods every year--check it out.[25]

Offline Tucker

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #16 on: October 05, 2011, 06:41:49 AM »
Police department has impound, go check out see if they have your bike.   Police have auctions to sell stolen goods every year--check it out.[25]

He don't want to buy one, he wants one for free.
Come to think of it, unions do create jobs. Companies have to hire two workers to do the work of one.

Offline vesta111

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #17 on: October 05, 2011, 06:51:13 AM »
He don't want to buy one, he wants one for free.

Serial number of bike  at impound it is his---FREE.  OH he wants a new one, excuse ME. [17]

Offline Tucker

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Re: Unterprimitiven Wants A Free Bike
« Reply #18 on: October 05, 2011, 07:18:48 AM »
Serial number of bike  at impound it is his---FREE.  OH he wants a new one, excuse ME. [17]

Not necessarily a new one but the best that someone else's money can buy.
Come to think of it, unions do create jobs. Companies have to hire two workers to do the work of one.