I heard Ron White use this story. Whether he stole it or it was stolen from him, it's funny no matter WHO you are!
Fred told his buddy, Tom, that he'd decided that he'd like to jump from a plane so he'd gone out to the airport yesterday for his first skydiving lesson.
As the plane reached altitude, Fred had his parachute on and everything was fine except for his nerves. As he looked down through the opening to the ground below, he grew VERY scared. Turning to the big 250-pound Marine-like instructor, he said "I've changed my mind; I can't do it."
The instructor said: "Let me tell you, boy, I'm a homosexual. You're either going to jump through that opening today or I'm going to take you right here on this plane!"
Tom asked: "Well, did you jump?"
Fred replied: "Yeah...a little...at first."
