poll: should we be concerned about discombobulating the primitives?

[franksolich]

I was headed out the door some minutes ago, when I decided to check my e-mails, and found three of them from my trusted sources on Skins's island, they having been sent during the middle of the night.

Apparently little tiny itty-bitty conservativecave is considerably discombobulating the primitives.

With emphasis on "considerably."

So I told someone that I would be late for a meeting this morning, but since it involves the Greater Good of Humanity and the Discombobulation of the Primitives, I was told not to worry about it; they'd wait until I showed up.

Anyway.

Yeah, folks, it appears little teeny-tiny conservativecave really bends the great big huge behemothic Skins's island out of shape.  We're like a flea to their fully-grown full-sized Democrat braying ass when it comes to size, but I guess we might as well be a great big huge elephant, for all the troubles we cause the primitives.

Damn.  I had no idea we vexed the primitives that much.

Well, the primitives need to be vexed; they need called to account, they need to explain themselves, they need to take responsibility, they need to be "quality checked" to ensure they're what they say they are, they need to have their bald-faced lies and grotesque distortions of truth exposed and corrected, they need to be shown for the silly, insipid, shallow hate-filled people they are.

For decades, the Democrats, liberals, and primitives dominated and manipulated information--via the news media, Hollywood, academia, the permanent bureaucracies--unchallenged.

There was no outlet to expose their lies and falsehoods.

That of course changed with the internet.

If I were a Democrat, liberal, or primitive, I'd Hate, Hate, Hate, the internet, for making it possible for the other side to be heard.

Problem, however, as the neighbor reminded me.

There's this thing about how the left, in a losing battle, resorts to destructive physical violence against those who disagree with them.

He says I need to get a firearm, so as to protect myself from the Wrath of the Primitives.

"These are not nice people," he tells me.

I say nonsense; the primitives may not be nice people, but they are really stupid.  ****ing cretins.

[jukin]

If for all your life you have believed that 1+1=POTATO and suddenly you are confronted with not only 1+1 does not equal a tuber but a number, then hell yes it is discombobulating to you.  If we can just get the Liberals to accept it is a number (even if it is not 2) then we have come a far way in getting 20% of the population back to reality.

[DumbAss Tanker]

...I say nonsense; the primitives may not be nice people, but they are really stupid.  ****ing cretins.

I assume you left out "Lazy, incompetent, and ineffectual losers in the great game of life" in the interests of brevity there.

And no, we shouldn't worry about it.  Realizing they really are internet laughingstocks may actually bring around one or two of the redeemable ones, so we're really doing God's work here.

[Carl]

Not in the least,they are becoming more and more vicious in their hatred for all things good and decent so they deserve to be effed with.

I think they hate it so because they read us mock their obvious fictitious stories,laugh at their idiocy about economics,legitimately have disdain for their useless greed and envy and they know it is all true.

[DefiantSix]

The only reason I could see that we should be concerned about DUmbshit discombobulation, is that eventually, one of them is going to be sufficiently off it's head meds - having traded that AFDC money for pot & Cheetos about mid-month - that they'll actualize their discombobulation IRL: probably with a weapon of some sort, and on some unsuspecting normal person/people going about normal activities.  This incident will most likely end with at least one normal person involved in said incident drawing a sidearm and ventillating aforementioned DUmbass with extreme prejudice.  And unless said incident occurs in the gun/intelligence free zones of Chicago, PR Kalifunny or Washington DC, or some other such bastion of blue_balls, the prosecutor, judge, jury and anybody else the DUmbshit's next of kin might appeal to for "justice" is going to call it a clean shoot - which will be especially offensive to the DUmbshit's NOK, because it'll be the first time in it's miserable life that anything the DUmbshit has been involved in has been associated with the word "clean".  This will, unfortunately, lead to the reduction of the number of DUmbshits on the Island to discombobulate in the first place, except of course for the original DUmbshit's NOK, who will be posting about the outrage of the DUmbshit being shot, and the evils of normal, "uncaring" people even before the carcass assumes ambient temperature.

[Airwolf]

Hell no. The more we piss then off, the less likely they are to be screwing things up for everyone else by staying online and bitch about it.

[DumbAss Tanker]

D6, I suspect that the vast majority of the gun-owning DUmmies are moles, and stay with it because they just enjoy the Hell out of torturing the rest of the DUmmies in the Gungeon.

[DefiantSix]

D6, I suspect that the vast majority of the gun-owning DUmmies are moles, and stay with it because they just enjoy the Hell out of torturing the rest of the DUmmies in the Gungeon.

I didn't say it would be a gun that the DUmbshit(s) would be using as a weapon.  It's far more likely that it'll be whatever comes to hand, the average DUmbshit having forgotten/not heard the adage about not bringing a knife/length of pipe, chain or whatever to a gunfight.

[GOBUCKS]

We should be concerned, but it can't be helped. Our whole purpose on this board is to shed light on the vicious but hilarious stupidity of the DUmpmonkeys. They lurk here obsessively, because for most of them it's the first time in their lives that anyone has paid them any attention. They love, adore, crave attention, even if it's mocking derision.

The problem occurs whenever an outstandingly comical DUmmy suddenly becomes embarrassed. Once in a great while, when reading about themselves here, they'll have a brief flash of normal reasoning, and understand what fools they are. Then they temporarily withdraw, like nutcase nadin presently. In serious cases, where their DUmp madness impacts their miserable real world, they may withdraw long-term, like TwixVoy, or Pammie, or the growing list of wallduding victims. The demise of the cooking group, and the shutdown of CalPig's orgasmic verse fall in that category. That's a great loss for us.

You need only reflect on how boring this forum has been the past few days, while nadin has been holed up in embarrassment over her diary being published. Her desperate need for a poke has temporarily rendered her incommunicado. Coach graciously offered to take one for the team, but half a continent separates nadin from a therapeutic sympathy poke. Let's hope she finds an alternative avenue for release, perhaps an electrical device, or maybe a common vegetable, and returns to shed wisdom and trend interpretation on the DUmp.

[SSG Snuggle Bunny]

People who are dishonest, greedy, lethargic, selectively ignorant, hate-filled, paranoid and unprincipled are already discombobulated. There is nothing we can do to render them ineffective that they have not done to themselves already within their eepest inner core.

I keep my mole there just to keep them agitated.

I reply to their asininity for the odd middle-roader who may be looking on.

[FreeBorn]

Concerned? No, not so much. I find observing the primitives from afar to be fascinating in a Marlin Perkins in the ground blind sort of way. Viewing such beasts in their natural setting unbeknownst to them certainly has its anthropological value but as far as any real threat of danger goes, should the ground blind be discovered, nah. There may be some resultant mayhem and panic exhibited, the usual yelps squawks and gnashing of teeth but that's about it. No real threat.
Once the herd or band or whatever has expended its adrenaline and scattered into the forest they soon return to their odd rituals and completely forget the ground blind, primitive as they are. So we see that simple observation has its limits. Much more stimulation is required in order to keep their focus rapt.
A good example of this stimulus would be the movie "The Gods must be crazy" in which the pilot of a light plain flying over undeveloped territory throws a soda bottle out the window and it is discovered by a primitive subject who has never encountered such a marvelous thing in his environs.
The presence of the foreign object forces the primitive to exhibit more cognitive function than normally would be displayed if left to his own devices and offers the possibility to observe actual evolution demonstrated. Without such stimulus the primitive invariably continues in the same unbroken patterns of behavior, no doubt unchanged for millions of years.
Therefore outside stimulus must be applied, science demands it!

In this short film, recorded by a mole in the field we see the primitive in his natural habitat. The sequence of behavior exhibited is predictable and unremarkable because the primitive encounters nothing unusual in his environment. Many opportunities for study are possible here such as if a coloring book and crayons were left for the primitive to discover.

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lm6RjRTL08[/youtube]

We simply must proceed with the anthropological studies of this isolated population. Though many adhere to the theory that the primitives are simply incapable of further evolution there are documented cases of protracted reasoning demonstrated when the primitives are sufficiently stimulated. Recently when one observer's blind was discovered by a foraging band some remarkable developments unfolded. The anthropologist had placed a few empty five gallon plastic buckets in their natural habitat, in this case an empty lot next to a Starbucks. The primitive discovering the blind reacted as usual with a loud whoop and most of the others scattered but quickly they returned. One of them seized one of the buckets and a stick. What unfolded next had not previously been recorded in the wild. The primitive began to beat upon the bucket with the stick and at least one other primitive mimicked this with another bucket, grabbing it up under one arm and beating upon it with his other hand. The sporadic and random    hoots and yelps of the primitives then almost fell into unison, if only for a second or two as if to chant but alas their fear overtook them and they scattered.

Certainly much more direct and vigorous stimulus is required to elicit more of a sustained reaction in order to establish whether or not the primitives are capable of evolution.

[Skul]

If we were concerned about that.
Why would we have the ParGen?
I also recall that discombobulating the primatives was in the oath when I joined CC.

[Traveshamockery]

I think it's hilarious!  We know they appear to be arrogant idiots but that only proves they have deep self esteem issues.  Who wouldn't have deep self esteem issues when they have to resort to biting the hand that feeds them?  To be clear, the conservatives, millionaires and billionaires, corporate jet owners, and gas and oil companies are the people who work and provide them with the funds (as confiscated by our government) for their drugs and Cheetos.  If they continue on the path they are on, those Cheetos and drug funds will be cut off. 

They are discombobulated - in the brain!

[DumbAss Tanker]

I think it's hilarious!  We know they appear to be arrogant idiots but that only proves they have deep self esteem issues. 

Yeah, most of them have waaaaaayyyyy more of it than there is any reason for!

 

[miskie]

Absolutely not.

Discombobulation is what saves those few who can be saved from the clutches of DUmmitude. Unlike most public schools, I feel embarrassment is an excellent motivator of personal growth and progress - and if embarrassing a few primitives into smartening up is what it takes to bring them enlightenment, then I am all for it. -Even if it is at the expense of some of our most entertaining web personalities.

[Erasmus]

The liberal brain doesn't have the capacity to think clearly in the first place, so no, discombobulating primitives doesn't really create any more harm than would otherwise be present.

[tanstaafl]

My only regret would be that the Primitives' behavior changes because they have a cognitive awareness that they are being studied. For the greater good of mankind and in our quest to better ourselves, we must endeavour to continue to gain knowledge of these inferiors.

Of course, jabbing a finger in their eye every now and then helps us to focus and it's fun. Makes them hop up and down, screeching and flinging poop.

[Skul]

My only regret would be that the Primitives' behavior changes because they have a cognitive awareness that they are being studied. For the greater good of mankind and in our quest to better ourselves, we must endeavour to continue to gain knowledge of these inferiors.

Of course, jabbing a finger in their eye every now and then helps us to focus and it's fun. Makes them hop up and down, screeching and flinging poop.

May I present exibit #1..

Omaha Steve  (1000+ posts)        Mon Sep-26-11 12:01 AM
Original message
The joy in the Conservative Cave can be overwhelming
 

http://www.conservativeca...m/index.php?topic=64656.1...

http://www.conservativeca...m/index.php?topic=60709.0

IF my leaving the DU causes so much joy at the (troll) cave, I know I need to stay.

A few DU friends enlightened me.

Omaha Steve

[BattleHymn]

The joy in the Conservative Cave can be overwhelming

Omaha Steve was driven to tears about something again. 

[franksolich]

Why would we have the ParGen?

Ah yes, the ParGen, the paranoia generator, thought of by GOBUCKS and built by franksolich.

At first, it worked fine, humming along at the desired speed on demand.

But then a few weeks ago, I found out I couldn't turn it off; the "off" button refused to work.

It's been spinning and spinning relentlessly since then, on its own volition, and at higher rates of speed; the desired spin had been something like 50 rpm, and it did that at first, but now it's going at 5000 rpm minute.....and oddly, showing no sign of overheating, or getting the least bit warm.

The "off" button still won't work.

It appears GOBUCKS thought of, and franksolich, built, the first successful perpetual motion machine.

[franksolich]

The primitives are bent out of shape--and I repeat, considerably so--because for the first time in their lives, their beliefs, their values, their icons, are being challenged.

And they don't like it; they always liked being accepted as Gospel Truth, and without question.

Of course, the Establishment never does, and the primitives have been the Establishment since, oh, about the mid-term elections of 1974, which entrenched them in power until recently.  They're still in power, but their grasp has slipped quite a bit, and every day it slips more and more.

As the ancien regime crumbles, the Establishment tries desperately to hang on.

It's the sun-downing of the Age of Aquarius, the Gotterdamerung of the hippies, we're seeing.

But this morning, I was stunned at learning how badly they're taking their demise; I had thought they'd be going out with a whimper (although not for a few years yet), leaving a big mess behind that decent and civilized people could clean up in peace and quiet, but they're acting like the last dinosaurs, roaring and thrashing and bellowing as they slowly sink into the mire.

[franksolich]

My only regret would be that the Primitives' behavior changes because they have a cognitive awareness that they are being studied.....

That's been a concern of mine for some time now, sir.

The primitives did provide a great deal more amusement and merriment when they didn't know of our existence (other than, of course, the "Atman" primitive), and acted uninhibited, natural.

I give you the examples of the sparkling husband dude, who was a great deal more amusing when he was unaware we were looking, or of the hippywife primitive Mrs. Alfred Packer, who gave us volumes of excellent comedic material until she knew of us, after which she evaporated from Skins's island.

Good times, good times, but they're gone now.

I dunno if you were around at the creation of conservativecave in late December 2007, but at the beginning, it was slow going.  From the first day, this site was gaining momentum, but still it was slow, until about, oh, three years ago.  The DUmpster on conservativecave at one time was an obscure little place, one of the minor forums; it was nothing near the size and range of "the Best/Worst of DU" at our old home.

DemonicUnderwear (Lord Undies here) and I ran the DUmpster as a "check in for a few minutes every other day or so" chore, and I even asked for more forums to moderate (which I got), just to stay busy.

But then alas I made the most-catastrophic mistake in my internet career (although it seemed like a good idea at the time); wishing to get some excitement going, I took means to publicize our existence among the primitives, the idea being to increase traffic.

Well, well.

But as my good friend USA4ME pointed out a couple of years ago, I'd actually wreaked havoc with scientific research, because once the primitives were aware this place existed, instead of acting naturally, they began acting artificially, as if actors on a stage.

And for the purposes of anthropology, it's important to watch primitives act naturally.

(By the way, Margaret Mead had the same problem, and never resolved it.)

[Skul]

Ah yes, the ParGen, the paranoia generator, thought of by GOBUCKS and built by franksolich.
>snip<
It appears GOBUCKS thought of, and franksolich, built, the first successful perpetual motion machine.

It's on a discombobulation feed-back loop. 

[formerlurker]

The vicious attacks they make daily on Coulter, Beck, GWB, etc. is disturbing due to the level of pure hate they fill their posts with.   They then have the absolute nerve to claim that the DU forum here is stalking, and we should be prosecuted for bullying.

Well misfits, lesson in reality.   We never asked for or cared what your real names are.  The lunacy that you blather on and on about daily is entertainment enough for us (it being the very public world wide web and all).   You however are SOOOOOOOOOOO needy, you post in an open forum very intimate details about your life, identity, location, family -- it is disturbing enough to warrant securing a grant to be studied further as you people actually exist and vote. 

Do yourself a favor and check into a real life with real people.   Far more fulfilling.   You won't regret it.   

[franksolich]

.....They then have the absolute nerve to claim that the DU forum here is stalking, and we should be prosecuted for bullying.

Well misfits, lesson in reality.   We never asked for or cared what your real names are.  The lunacy that you blather on and on about daily is entertainment enough for us (it being the very public world wide web and all). 

You however are SOOOOOOOOOOO needy, you post in an open forum very intimate details about your life, identity, location, family -- it is disturbing enough to warrant securing a grant to be studied further as you people actually exist and vote.

It was funny, this morning.

The neighbor, after reading about the hubbub on Skins's island (those three e-mails sent to me by our Admiral Canaris on Skins's island), first suggested I get a firearm for protection.

I said no way; while an enthusiastic supporter of the Second Amendment, I don't do firearms myself.  My own weapon of choice has always been a 1-3/8" S/K adjustable wrench.  One can shear off the lower jaw of someone with that; I've seen it done, and remember exactly how it was done (a man in his late 70s up against a drunk in his mid-20s; I was 10 years old at the time).

I have two 1-3/8" S/K adjustable wrenches here. 

As I reminded the neighbor, if I had a firearm, the instinctive reaction would be to hit with it, not shoot it.

I jocularly suggested land-mines are an option, strategically placed around here, with only those people I want around here aware of their location.....but then remembered the cats; one of the cats might step on one of them.

So anyway, he left, and I left.

When I came back here late this afternoon, there was a third 1-3/8" S/K adjustable wrench here, used, that the neighbor had gotten at an auction of old farm tools.....