Sometime last month I mentioned that I know a girl who dates a guy whose second cousin on his mother's side is friends with a fellow whose brother works at the stable where the unicorns are kept. Well, I talked to this girl today, and she told me that there has been a terrible accident.
Apparently, 0 stopped by the stables where the unicorns are kept. She says he likes to come by and see the unicorns when he's not on vacation which means he hasn't seen them very often, but that's irrelevant to the news. It seems that while he was there he decided that he wanted to practice his jobs speech using the unicorns as an audience.
About a minute and half into the speech one of the unicorns shouted "THAT"S A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT!!", and another yelled "YES, QUIT LYING ZERO!!!!" Frankly, I was surprised to hear this because I didn't know that a unicorn could talk, but then again, I also didn't know that they could produce Skittles. I guess if you're magical you can do a lot of things.
Well, I wasn't the only one surprised. The big 0 was surprised also. He had thought that the unicorns were like his DU faithful and viewed him as their lord and savior. That's the reason he wanted to use them as an audience while he practiced. He never expected them to rebuke him. The surprise caused him to bump the podium which caused the podium to topple and knock over one of the teleprompters. The teleprompter shorted out. The sparks caught the hay in the stables on fire and pandemonium broke out.
The big 0 and all his aides and assistants made it to safety with no injuries at all. They were also able to save the teleprompters. The unicorns, on the other hand, were not so lucky. Every single one of the unicorns died. I hate to be the one to break the news to the boar hog tits at DUnceland, but they will NOT be getting a unicorn. Ever.
The inspectors are claiming that the over use of the teleprompters is probably what wore the wires which is ultimately what caused the short when one of the teleprompters were knocked over.
On another sad note, the reports claim that three ghost chickens also died in the blaze. No one yet knows if Blackie was one of those three.
I don't know when all this happened, but I haven't seen anything about on the mainstream media yet.
Disclaimer: As far as I know unicorns do not exist nor were any killed in a fire. This is a parody. It's kind of sad that I have to say that, but as the left is so stupid they voted for someone in hopes of getting a unicorn I figured I better put the disclaimer on here. Granted, they won't read it. They'll just see this a good excuse for why 0 hasn't given them all a unicorn. Then vote Jackass Party while waiting on more "free" stuff.
