Lighthearted fun no politics: Tell us a true Ewww story that happened to you

[Ballygrl]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9770912

frogmarch  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue Aug-30-11 08:02 PM
Original message
Tell us a true Ewww story that happened to you
   
Here’s one of mine:

I once worked in an old turn-of-the century railroad station that was now a tourist info center. I gave directions to tourists and handed out maps and brochures. The usual stuff. It was fun.

Right from the start I noticed the ceiling looked saggy. It appeared to sag a bit more every day. I mentioned it to my boss, but he said it was nothing to worry about and that the ceiling was sound.

One afternoon late in the season when I was alone in the building, the ceiling collapsed – and suddenly there I was, covered in bat guano. The floor, the counter, my desk, were buried in guano, bats and debris. Some bats were alive, some weren’t, and some of the live ones were flying around, totally freaking out, while others lurched and scuttled across the floor, turning their heads like Linda Blair in The Exorcist and squeaking in fear. I felt sorry for them, but it really creeped me out.

I cleared a way to the door with a broom and got out and called my boss. The live bats were soon shooed out, the place cleaned and the ceiling replaced, but I never went back.

What's a ewwww (ewwwish would be fine) story of yours?

MrsBrady  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue Aug-30-11 09:06 PM
Response to Original message
1. I had a fly
   
drop dead in mid flight, right in front of me years ago while eating dinner.

it was pretty ewwww.

It dropped right onto the table. At least it didn't fall in the food.

But the ewwww part, if that's not enough?
When it dropped dead a bunch of maggots came out.
very eww.

I've stepped in a lot of cat puke in my time, by accident, in my home...in the dark.

I change diapers every day in my job in child care. I'm used to it, but it's still eww.
Occasionally you get it on you even with gloves, etc. It is what it is.

applegrove  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue Aug-30-11 09:14 PM
Response to Original message
2. I hit a bird with my car. A pigeon. It kept flying for a few seconds despite the fact it was
   
missing its head. Yuk!

madinmaryland  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue Aug-30-11 09:30 PM
Response to Original message
5. Looking out a window on the 19th floor of 75 Wall Street and seeing and then hearing a plane
   
hit the South Tower of the World Trade Center.

eom

A HERETIC I AM  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue Aug-30-11 09:34 PM
Response to Original message
7. Well, you might not like this. (Not for the squeamish, trust me)
   
Edited on Tue Aug-30-11 09:35 PM by A HERETIC I AM
In the 1970's my father was stationed in Alice Springs, NT Australia. This was 73 & 74, so I was 14 & 15.

I got a summer job at the town Abattoirs. The Slaughterhouse.

Yup. I worked in a slaughterhouse as a teenager.

The job they gave me at first was skinning heads. I had to hang the severed head upside down, skin it, cut out the cheek meat (used in hamburgers, BTW) and cut out the tongue in such a way as to display it for the meat inspector so that with one simple cut, he could sever it and toss it in the acceptable bin or down to the grinder.

I was working on the head of a young steer and was holding on to one of its horns for leverage as I skinned it. The horn was loose. Now, keep in mind, this animal was walking around not 5 minutes earlier.

The horn was REALLY loose, so...well...being a 15 year old, I broke it off.

It was FILLED with maggots.

I almost puked.

I grabbed a steam hose that was hanging nearby (for cleaning purposes...high pressure scalding water & steam, straight out of the boiler downstairs) and sprayed the living shit (literally) out of the whole head.

That was about as Ewwww as it ever got for me.

Aristus  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue Aug-30-11 10:32 PM
Response to Original message
11. Cross-posted from my OP:
   
I was draining an abscess in one of my IV drug-using patients, and some nasty brown stuff splooged out of the incision and all over me. Could have been catastrophic if I hadn't worn my lab coat. I have backups for that. I don't bring a backup shirt and tie.

I took a specimen for culture; I'll find out in a couple of days what virulent, 28 Days Later bacterium I narrowly avoided getting infected by...

Shagbark Hickory  (1000+ posts) Tue Aug-30-11 10:52 PM
Response to Original message
13. MAny moons ago we were in a chinese restuarant in miami and a roach crawled up the wall then...
   
onto the ceiling above our table. Then all of a sudden it falls down on the table. We watched the whole thing.

Ewwwwwwww! A seagull pooped on me once, that was I think the ewwwwwiest thing.

[Ballygrl]

quakerboy  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue Aug-30-11 11:15 PM
Response to Original message
17. You may have watched
   
Hoarders on tv. I worked that job before It was a TV show. Although we worked with as much or more in the dementia/Alzheimers range as hoarders. You name it.

The house that had been home to 90+ indoor cats? I cleaned it. I dont feel great need to elaborate further

The house where the old biker had forgotten that spitting should be done outside, so all the walls from 3 foot down were coated in lugis, and my job was to clean it?

The house where I found a crock pot full of liquid, at a guess over a year old, black and with a smell I cannot describe? That was the same kitchen where her fridge had died, so she shoved it back into the dining room(mostly full of other hoarded items) and put a new fridge in front of it. Several years later, the second one died. So she shoved both back and got a third. And she had never emptied the first two. That was the single worst smelling place I have ever been, much less had to spend several days cleaning. They literally had to bring in a cat to clear the garage where she kept her dobermans before they were rescued.

Then there was the apartment with large black trash bags full of human feces because the lady with dementia had forgotten how to use a toilet? Cleaned it. Same house, her husband had died. She didn't understand it, so she left him to liquify at the foot of the bed for several weeks mid summer before the odor got bad enough the neighbors called it in? He had been removed, but the outline was still very present

[Karin]

A seagull pooping on you is the worst you've ever gotten, Ballygrl?     I think Gina started a thread like this for us in the Lounge.  It didn't go well, it got really, really gross.  I'm not telling my story again. 

[FlippyDoo]

My story is kind of ewww. One day about 10 years ago I was minding my own business and surfing the web when I came across a vile website. It contained all kind of outrageous people. People that liked killing unborn babies. People that lied all the time. People that hated anyone that believed differently. People that were hypocritical about almost everything. People that were arrogant beyond belief. People that thought they were too good to work for a living. All kind of weird stuff. It still makes me go ewww.

edit to add: Oops. I may have broken the rules. The rules said no politics and I THINK that the website that I'm talking about is a political website. Either that or an online insane asylum. My bad.

[BlueStateSaint]

A seagull pooping on you is the worst you've ever gotten, Ballygrl?     I think Gina started a thread like this for us in the Lounge.  It didn't go well, it got really, really gross.  I'm not telling my story again. 

I had an F-15E Strike Eagle, cleverly disguised as a seagull, nail me as I was headed for my church to cantor, two Saturdays ago.  I had to go inside and change quickly, after washing myself off.  The music director, who was playing the piano and pipe organ that evening, was highly amused with my story.

[ChuckJ]

I have an ewww story.

I grew up in the country. When I was about 15 years old a neighbor who lived a couple of miles from the house asked if I would go with her to take one of her goats to the vet. This lady had always been super nice. She was the youth director at one of the local churches and always made sure all the kids in the neighborhood, regardless of their religious denomination, were invited to any thing that their youth group did. She also loved her goats like most people loved their pets so I told her that I would be more than happy to go with her to the vet.

Now when I agreed to this I thought she just wanted me to ride in the truck with her to keep her company since the goat would be in a livestock trailer of some sort and that it would just be a quick checkup visit to the local vet. I was just a little bit wrong in my assumptions.

It wasn't a truck. It was a Ford LTD car. The goat wasn't going to the local vet. It was going to a vet about an hour away. It wasn't going for a checkup. It was going because something had given it an industrial strength case of diarrhea. And finally, it wasn't in a livestock trailer of some sort. It was in the backseat of the car with ME to keep it company.

To top it off, when we got to the vet I stayed outside in the fresh air and a guy comes up with a pretty bulldog. The dog was walking funny. Every so often he would tried to sit down and then go "arrrrrrr' in a heart tuggingly painful way. Come to find out his neighbors had shot him in the testicles with birdshot.

[JohnnyReb]

Was it being armpit deep up a cows butt trying to take a 2 day decaying dead calf out or cleaning screwworms(maggots) out of deep wounds in live stock.

....OH NO!!!!!!!!!!! Just remembered one super eeeeewwww. Back in the late 60's, I was working swing shift and on my days off and the days I worked the night shifts, I help clean up rental units and do miscellanous jobs. We went in one appartment 2 lesbians had lived in. Over in one corner of the only bathroom was a knee high pile of... used KOTEX. They had been there so long that when I disturbed the pile, maggots went everywhere. I ran outside and puked. Poor old Sammy had to clean that one by himself.   

[Chris_]

Was it being armpit deep up a cows butt trying to take a 2 day decaying dead calf out or cleaning screwworms(maggots) out of deep wounds in live stock.

You win.

[Ballygrl]

A seagull pooping on you is the worst you've ever gotten, Ballygrl?     I think Gina started a thread like this for us in the Lounge.  It didn't go well, it got really, really gross.  I'm not telling my story again.

Oh wait, I had a vertigo spell earlier this year that produced symptoms similar to seasickness and a stomach flu combined LOL, I forgot about that.

Oh wait, when my Husband and I were dating he had a boat, it was always for the guys to go fishing, I kept asking him to take me on the boat in the Ocean, he finally relented, I got sooooooooo seasick! BTW, if going on a boat in saltwater don't use hairspray and make-up, I was hanging overboard sick and aside from being gray when I got back to the dock I had clumps of salt in my hair, the saltwater and hairspray don't go well together.

[Ballygrl]

I have an ewww story.

I grew up in the country. When I was about 15 years old a neighbor who lived a couple of miles from the house asked if I would go with her to take one of her goats to the vet. This lady had always been super nice. She was the youth director at one of the local churches and always made sure all the kids in the neighborhood, regardless of their religious denomination, were invited to any thing that their youth group did. She also loved her goats like most people loved their pets so I told her that I would be more than happy to go with her to the vet.

Now when I agreed to this I thought she just wanted me to ride in the truck with her to keep her company since the goat would be in a livestock trailer of some sort and that it would just be a quick checkup visit to the local vet. I was just a little bit wrong in my assumptions.

It wasn't a truck. It was a Ford LTD car. The goat wasn't going to the local vet. It was going to a vet about an hour away. It wasn't going for a checkup. It was going because something had given it an industrial strength case of diarrhea. And finally, it wasn't in a livestock trailer of some sort. It was in the backseat of the car with ME to keep it company.

To top it off, when we got to the vet I stayed outside in the fresh air and a guy comes up with a pretty bulldog. The dog was walking funny. Every so often he would tried to sit down and then go "arrrrrrr' in a heart tuggingly painful way. Come to find out his neighbors had shot him in the testicles with birdshot.

[Ballygrl]

Was it being armpit deep up a cows butt trying to take a 2 day decaying dead calf out or cleaning screwworms(maggots) out of deep wounds in live stock.

....OH NO!!!!!!!!!!! Just remembered one super eeeeewwww. Back in the late 60's, I was working swing shift and on my days off and the days I worked the night shifts, I help clean up rental units and do miscellanous jobs. We went in one appartment 2 lesbians had lived in. Over in one corner of the only bathroom was a knee high pile of... used KOTEX. They had been there so long that when I disturbed the pile, maggots went everywhere. I ran outside and puked. Poor old Sammy had to clean that one by himself.

Ewwwwwwwwww!

[franksolich]

I stepped on a year-old cow-chip once.

But that was a very long time ago.

[JohnnyReb]

I stepped on a year-old cow-chip once.

But that was a very long time ago.

 ...that's to bad. We used dry ones as Frisbees before they even invented plastic frisbees. ...maybe dry cow chips is where the inventor got his idea.

[ChuckJ]

That was the funny story part. The funny visual part came later.

The vet gave her some medication for the goats. She asked me if I would help her nephew administer the medicine. The medicine was a paste that came in a tube like caulk. You even applied it with a caulk-gun type apparatus. Since it was to be given orally I told her okay. I figured it would be no problem as goats will eat anything. I've seen them eat briars, paper bags, fiberglass insulation (although those died), wiring, and the list goes on. To a goat everything is eatable...EXCEPT that medicine.

To start with we tried the nice and polite method. Here goat. Come and see what we've got for you. That method was quickly discarded. We finally had to settle on a slightly more physical method. After catching the goat I would put the goat's neck under my armpit while holding it sort of in a headlock between my torso and my arm AND holding a horn in each hand while the nephew twisted the goat's lip with one hand and forced the medicine applicator into the goat's mouth with the other hand. IF (and that is a big IF) he was able to successfully get some into the goat's mouth before the goat beat the living hell out of me he would use one hand to try and keep the goat's mouth shut while rubbing the goat's neck with the other hand. I thought we were having a pretty bad time of it. Then we got to the billy goats.

Once we got to the billy goats I realized that the operation with the previous goats (the nannies) was a very easy undertaking by comparison. You've never really lived until you've had a big billy goat by the horns with his neck under your arm and felt the thrill of being slung all about like a rag doll.

When we were done we felt like we had been beaten by a sledge hammer. We were covered in dirt. Covered in goat medicine. And covered in runny goat excrement.

Now days I don't much care for goats.

[vadawg]

when i was younger i was out on patrol and suddenly felt the galloping trots come on, so there i was in the middle of the night snowsuit round my ankles crapping for the olympics, finally finished, wiped and then redonned my snow suit without realising i had crapped straight into my hood.  Needless to say the warmth of poop running down my neck and face was welcome in the cold but the smell was awful and i spent a further week before we were relieved and i could change my clothes.  First thing i taught my kids when pooping outdoors was always to clear the dropzone and then check again.

[Ballygrl]

That was the funny story part. The funny visual part came later.

The vet gave her some medication for the goats. She asked me if I would help her nephew administer the medicine. The medicine was a paste that came in a tube like caulk. You even applied it with a caulk-gun type apparatus. Since it was to be given orally I told her okay. I figured it would be no problem as goats will eat anything. I've seen them eat briars, paper bags, fiberglass insulation (although those died), wiring, and the list goes on. To a goat everything is eatable...EXCEPT that medicine.

To start with we tried the nice and polite method. Here goat. Come and see what we've got for you. That method was quickly discarded. We finally had to settle on a slightly more physical method. After catching the goat I would put the goat's neck under my armpit while holding it sort of in a headlock between my torso and my arm AND holding a horn in each hand while the nephew twisted the goat's lip with one hand and forced the medicine applicator into the goat's mouth with the other hand. IF (and that is a big IF) he was able to successfully get some into the goat's mouth before the goat beat the living hell out of me he would use one hand to try and keep the goat's mouth shut while rubbing the goat's neck with the other hand. I thought we were having a pretty bad time of it. Then we got to the billy goats.

Once we got to the billy goats I realized that the operation with the previous goats (the nannies) was a very easy undertaking by comparison. You've never really lived until you've had a big billy goat by the horns with his neck under your arm and felt the thrill of being slung all about like a rag doll.

When we were done we felt like we had been beaten by a sledge hammer. We were covered in dirt. Covered in goat medicine. And covered in runny goat excrement.

Now days I don't much care for goats.

Are goats really strong?

[BEG]

When I had my first son the doctor told me to push.  I did but it wasn't the baby that came out....

[Firechild]

when i was younger i was out on patrol and suddenly felt the galloping trots come on, so there i was in the middle of the night snowsuit round my ankles crapping for the olympics, finally finished, wiped and then redonned my snow suit without realising i had crapped straight into my hood.  Needless to say the warmth of poop running down my neck and face was welcome in the cold but the smell was awful and i spent a further week before we were relieved and i could change my clothes.  First thing i taught my kids when pooping outdoors was always to clear the dropzone and then check again.

*cringe*...that's the winner if there was an "ewww story ever spoken"....gawwwwwwd.............I'm shaking!

[Evil_Conservative]

This one time, at band camp...

[delilahmused]

I have ewwww stories every day. The worst thing I've ever had to deal with is fly strike. Disgusting! The most recent yucky thing was I went to let my chickens out and one of my meat birds (a Cornish Cross...the never fully feather and the feathers they have are white so they tend to get picked on and butts tend to be a popular spot) was sitting there, still alive with most of her guts hanging out. Honestly, I think she was too stupid to know her innards were laying on the ground. However, from a practical standpoint it wasn't to bad. I just picked her up, snapped her neck and she was almost completely gutted for me. You'd never guess I used to be one of those squeamish girly-girls whose nails were always done & make up always perfect.

Cindie

[BlueStateSaint]

When I had my first son the doctor told me to push.  I did but it wasn't the baby that came out....

That's fairly common, from what I was told before The Heiress was born.

[AprilRazz]

While I can't top some of you I am exposed to nasty a few times per day.
I work at an old folks home and sometimes (I have done my fair share as well) help the CNA's out. Have you ever tried to clean up an incontinent old man? If they are furry it is like attempting to get peanut butter out of shag carpeting.

[Erasmus]

1. I had a fly drop dead in mid flight, right in front of me years ago while eating dinner.  it was pretty ewwww.  It dropped right onto the table. At least it didn't fall in the food.
But the ewwww part, if that's not enough?
When it dropped dead a bunch of maggots came out.
very eww.
I've stepped in a lot of cat puke in my time, by accident, in my home...in the dark.

Not surprising.  Can't take care of the cat properly, probably didn't clean up the puke, ergo you had flies.  This nasty, disgusting DUer should probably be medically quarantined.

[JohnnyReb]

While I can't top some of you I am exposed to nasty a few times per day.
I work at an old folks home and sometimes (I have done my fair share as well) help the CNA's out. Have you ever tried to clean up an incontinent old man? If they are furry it is like attempting to get peanut butter out of shag carpeting.

God bless you sweet heart.

[GCBill]

I've driven through large parts of Detroit and Highland Park, seeing how people treat their home and community.

Ewwwwwww