The Trip. (cont.)

[asdf2231]

I'm tired. 

I did a little over 500 miles today and wound up in Mitchell, South Dakota at a Best Western motor lodge. 

Last night was harder than I thought it would be. I tucked my son in and then went back in his room and laid alongside him when he came out to blow his nose because of the tears.
I had to explain that I wasn't going to get eaten by a bear or a cougar and that I would be home before he knew it.  I just laid next to him and held him and told him Don't you worry about a thing because every little thing was going to be alright.  My daughter turns 14 in two weeks so she has a better grasp of time.  She acted very brave and grown up about the whole thing because she is at the stage of her life where she is turning into an adult and is trying the role on for size.  My wife just held me close and told me "Silly man, quit worrying." 

The kids each gave me things to take with me. My son offered up his small stuffed sea turtle. In Korea turtles are considered good luck and ever since we lived there it has become a running thing then when you take a long journey, you take a turtle along.  There is a small plastic one in my wife's car and a tiny crystal one in mine for everyday trips, but when you venture forth you pack some heavier duty Turtlepower.   My daughter offered up a small porcelain frog and a tiny Celtic medallion in the form of a Brigid's Shield with a blue stone set in the center.  It was her favorite necklace when she was tiny and we always associated it with her safety. St. Brigid's Shield held over her, warding her from harm. She had lost the thong that it hung on. Superstitious bastard that I am, I took it and crafted a helluva good luck charm.  Hanging over my work bench in the garage was a small signal mirror that had ridden in my Dad's survival kit from his many years as a flight engineer in Navy aircraft. I remember playing with it a ton when I was a small child myself.  I clipped the sweat stained nylon cord off the mirror and attached the medallion to it, leaving my fathers ancient, complicated sailor's knot joining the cord together intact. It will remain around my neck and close to my heart until I return home again.

I didn't hurry along today.  I woke up at 8am in my wife's arms and she finally got a little forlorn about my leaving today. She told me that it occurred to her that if she never let me go then I wouldn't be able to go. But she did. With a smile eventually.  Slow breakfast with the kids and cramming last minute things into the truck and I got on the road about 11am feeling very conflicted.  Part of me wanted to turn around before I hit the interstate. The rest of me was almost singing out in triumph. I should make 500 miles a day in order to reach Washington State by May 1st.  Other than that for the first time in 14 years I have no other pressing priorities. I have no set schedule on when to rise and depart, no limitations on how I make the distance.  When I arrive I have no set plans. I unpack and then see what I need to pick up to stock the cabin. And then for 4 weeks my time is my own to do whatever the hell I feel like doing. No events scheduled to run at set times or seminars or people to meet for drinks or dinner like my usual get-aways. No worries about when to hit the road on Sunday morning to be home to make dinner leading into children's bedtimes and the eventual re-donning of the mantle of parental duties that revolve around the coming week. No worries about getting called out for emergencies. Not. A. Damn. Thing.  Except the road and the travel.

And the hole in my heart right now that the people that I love and share my life normally fill with their bustle and goings-on that make up a home. As enjoyable as the feeling of freedom is I miss my wife of  16 years and my kids. I suspect that will get easier because they are never far from me no matter how far west I go. But for right now the motel room is too empty and quiet and I miss them all terribly. Things will sort out.

I could have flown. Hell, I could have taken my time away in the Mid-West.  But there is something of significance about going West till the land ends. Call me a traditionalist. I have always loved the plains and the mountains and high country of Wyoming. When I married the only place I had ever really been was the time miss-spent in Tulsa, Oklahoma and the trips there and back. Born on the East Coast, moved to Wisconsin when I was 6. Went to Illinois a bit and parts of Minnesota. Other than that...  We left for Yellowstone the day after we married and I saw the plains and a bit of the west. Four years later I had been in three other countries in the Far East and lived abroad there for two years. Six years after that and I had managed to see most of the country from coast to coast.  But the Pacific North-West is magical to me.  In 1993 we drove from Las Vegas to Olympia WA and then hit the coast and spent two weeks driving from WA to Northern California down 101 camping the whole way.  I never did get to see the forests of Washington and northern Oregon. Which is why I chose to take this walkabout where I did. In all my travels I have never really been where the sidewalks end.  Yellowstone was the closest but it is almost like visiting a combination museum and captive wild game park.  This is going to be something different.  I had originally looked at Alaska, but the logistics were pretty dismal and the wilderness there is very good at punishing the unwary and the untried.  By contrast the wilderness areas in Washington are sort of like the kiddy pool for outward bounding.

509 miles today. Back in the day the trip west took about four months and you were lucky if you made 20 miles a day without serious peril.  I came out of the bluff and hill country around the Mississippi River and hit the plains doing 80mph with a satellite telling me exactly where my car was and "Closer to fine" by the Indigo Girls playing on the stereo while the miles rolled by. If I have a breakdown as a solo traveler it's a bit of a wait till AAA shows up with a wrecker.  A slightly different experience than what befell a solo wagon breaking down in the Dakota plains 150 years ago.  Their bones still lay beneath the prairie sod in so very many unmarked graves. A broken leg back then was an invitation to infection fever and death. Cholera and typhus. Robbers, Indians, weather and just plain bad luck could take you at any stage of the trip.  I think about that when I drive across these plains.  My grandmother went from no electricity to a world that had zero-g toilets that men were using in orbit during the span of her life. The changes over the course of my life have been less spectacular but no less significant. I wonder what the travelers who took wagons west would think of my own silver truck speeding me along. I have a rifle in a boot riding in the cargo area and a .45 along but light years separate the things that make up the brand of early pioneers and shmucks like me.

I'm tired and should probably get some food before bed.  A few cups of coffee have helped shake off the day. I'm content right now to be concentrating on the travel. The travel is the easy part. It's what I will find at the end that has my stomach fluttering in anticipation and excitement. Even with all the wrapped up ambivalence... I feel very much alive in a way I have not in living memory.  Tomorrow is more of the tans and greens of the prairie rolling down the miles till the foothills and the mountains. Sufficient unto the day...

[Chris_]

Thanks for the trek update! I look forward to reading more of your journey across the country. I am a little disappointed you didn't stop at my house for coffee.... I made cinnamon rolls this morning. 

[morningAngel]

don't forget to check out the corn palace in Mitchell before you go on

[asdf2231]

Thanks for the trek update! I look forward to reading more of your journey across the country. I am a little disappointed you didn't stop at my house for coffee.... I made cinnamon rolls this morning. 

Holy Gee!

I forgot, you live in the twin cities don't you?

My brother lives in White Bear.

[asdf2231]

don't forget to check out the corn palace in Mitchell before you go on

NOT my first rodeo, lol.

We saw the corn palace a couple years ago. It was though as I recall a drive-by.

[Chris_]

Thanks for the trek update! I look forward to reading more of your journey across the country. I am a little disappointed you didn't stop at my house for coffee.... I made cinnamon rolls this morning. 

Holy Gee!

I forgot, you live in the twin cities don't you?

My brother lives in White Bear.

On your way home maybe? That would be fun, just drop me a PM.

[DixieBelle]

I loved reading your post! This would make a great book. I hope you plan on journaling.

[Dixie*Darling]

Interesting read!  Be safe, enjoy yourself and keep us posted.

[asdf2231]

A shade over 600 miles today.

Most of it was a tawny blur of prairie dotted with sage and patches of greenery.  There was the pinkish asphalt, the grass and the collected works of Johnny Cash to help fill the time.
If you have never driven I-90 west, about 85 miles from the border of South Dakota, you sweep around a curve and the Black Hills are suddenly there as a hazy bluish smear on the horizon.
It's kind of jarring after the endless rolling tan hills and it is the first promise of the high country that lies ahead.  My Garmin routed me on a state highway, 212, north and west from Belle Fourche rather than the usual route straight out on the interstate.  It was an interesting ride. 150-170 miles of high prairie rolling off into the distance.  Herds of black cattle and pronghorns. the soil torn and rent by the jagged creeks and the odd gulch. And nothing else for almost a hundred miles. Except for the 25 or 30 miles of construction equipment that had torn the road down to a single lane in some places. Thank you Garmin. 

Other than the happy news about our wayward cat returning to the fold it was a very uneventful day.  Motion and music. 85 mph for the bulk, gas stops and bathroom breaks. Travel Zen. That nice feeling where moving down the road is at the time just as satisfying as the idea of actually going anywhere. I pulled into the Holiday Inn in Billings Montana and booked a nice room and collapsed with room service, coffee and a hot bath in that order.

Two more legs until I get to the forest and the cabin. From here to Idaho and into eastern Washington and then the home stretch from Spokane to Hoodsport. I feel disconnected, as I always seem to feel when I am bouncing from hotel to hotel.  Kind of a generic blur of furnishings and vague good manners from the staff interspersed with forgettable meals and that sort of lost feeling from occupying temporary space.
I want to be at the end of the trip so I can really unpack and finally decompress. I am wondering if the Pacific is still the same blue that I remember so well. I wonder what I will find under the boughs of the forest and in the high green places. And what I will find in myself when I am where I have chosen to go. 

In spite of the monotony of the travel, today was the first time where my pulse quickened a little bit at the sights appearing around each turn. I pulled over and stretched my legs a bit on the high grass here in Montana and took in the smell of the damp red earth and the sage. I watched a hawk hunt for his lunch and heard the sounds of the cattle lowing off in the distance under the murmur of the wind. It was the first time that I think I really realized what an adventure I am setting out on. What a gift I have been handed.  500 miles to do tomorrow.  I have never seen Idaho and I will be passing through the northern tip of the Rockies on the way. Then into the evergreen state and what awaits there I can't say.

[Miss Mia]

It's good to hear the trip is going okay. 

[DixieBelle]

Glad the cat came home! Keep us posted on the trip.

[jtyangel]

Stickied for asdf to continue to update! Look forward to the next installment, bud. Godspeed!

[Splashdown]

Going until the land stops. Steinbeck said the same thing. Great minds, ASDF! Best of luck on your journey.

[asdf2231]

Another 500 miles today, roughly. 

Billings Montana to Coeur d'Alene Idaho. 12 scant miles from the border of Washington state.  The drive was... Interesting.  I saw the first REAL mountains of the trip just after setting out from Billings.
Everything up till now had been foothills and butte country. It has been a few years since I have driven in the mountains. I can authoritatively say that the United States should never go to war with Canada.
After driving behind these people up the continental divide it can be affirmed that they absolutely do not know how to yield. Warren Zevon and the Who sped me along  through the Rockies today in style. A little snow on the ground up there and a lot of rain coming down.

It was interesting driving through Montana to see the sprawling modern day equivalent of the old west bunk houses on the ranches.  Small RV trailers and mobile homes grouped around corrals and feeding stations.
After passing through cattle range after cattle range with a few horse herds mixed in, I looked out the window and was surprised to see a hundred or so llamas milling around one pasture. I wondered idly if the cowboys who took care of them took shit from the other ones. Cattlemen look askance at sheep herders as it is. I guess the sheep herders have someone they can lord it over as well. I gassed up in the middle of the mountains at the Rock Creek Trailer Court, Bar, Resort, Gas Station and General Store. Home of what I can only assume is Montana's only "Testicle Festival".  As seen in "Hustler" according to one of the signs.

The country flattens out from here till I cross the Cascade mountains and then swing around Puget Sound for the cabin, which is just west of the Hood Canal, the Sound's western most finger.  I contacted the cabin owner today and chatted for a bit and asked some questions. My biggest shock is that "He" was a "She".  Hispanic last name and a first name of "Angel". I mistakenly assumed I was exchanging emails with a guy, lol.  I will pull into the cabin tomorrow around 6pm or so.  By good luck there is an internet cafe/coffee house 5 miles down the road next to the resort in Hoodsport, so I will be able to check email once in a while perhaps. But the cabin itself is pretty stark as far as modern techno comforts.

There has not been room for a lot of introspection on the trip so far. The first night was kind of like the ache from a raw wound. "What the hell am I doing here, I must be nuts..."  Hard to get to sleep, hard to wake up and turn the truck West rather than speeding back East to comfort and routines and the people that I love. At this point after 1,500 miles I am just bone weary and looking forward to getting out of the damn truck and unpacking. My throat is a little raw from the cigarettes and my stomach is unhappy with the cooled coffee and road food. it will be good to spread out in the quiet little cottage that awaits and after taking a breather for a day or two, start to see what is out there.  I have 5-6 days of writing that needs to be done over the course of May. That may take first priority, but I am itching to get out in the wild green places and follow my feet and my nose. And the ocean awaits. I have always loved the sea. My father spent so much of his life on it. Some of my earliest memories were family vacations to beaches in Rhode Island and Connecticut. Park me on a beach and let me watch the waves and listen to the boom of the surf and the keening of the gulls and I am a generally content creature. Stick me on a boat and I am in Nirvana.

I miss my wife and kids like I would miss my arm if it were taken. I find myself reaching out for something and finding that my phantom fingers are grasping the air. The phone calls have helped a lot but they won't be practical after today. What has me the most curious is if I will like the guy I am spending the next month with. We all have our routines that we either take comfort in or use to avoid stress or anger. I think what may have prompted this is that I realized that my whole life had become a series of routines. Nice ones to be sure, for the most part. But your routines can get to be more than a crutch to ease you through your days. If you fall into the wrong ones or just find yourself captive to them they can become walls higher than any prison's. I started to think of my life's routines as the standard operating procedures and started resenting the things that should have been a break from the every-day grind as intrusions ON the every-day grind... if that makes any sense at all. So we take the giant leap into the unknown and try to step outside the routines and all the well crafted walls of small pleasures and see what's really out there.  And what is really inside.  I know the old saw, "No Matter Where You Go There You Are." I have known since I was a scared young man looking into the well of trouble he had dug for himself that there is no place you can run that you don't take yourself with you. I'm not stupid enough to believe that the local change is going to lead to some stunning revelation and my life's path will become clear. What I am hopeful for though is achieving a little clarity that I couldn't get standing in the Grand Central Station of my life. A little clarity is all.

A couple more cups of coffee tonight and then it'll be time to turn in. Couple days down the road and I will see about venturing into town and posting some pics of the cabin. The trip is ending tomorrow but the journey is about to begin.

[DixieBelle]

ASDF - I feel like I'm riding shotgun man. Thank you for sharing this journey. If you only knew how beautiful and touching your words were. Keep writing.

So you're going to Oregon correct? My dear Granny was born and raised in Gresham and Mt. Hood was always a part of her life. She had many fond memories that she lovingly shared with me. I hope to make it there someday myself. She moved to the South when she met and married my grandfather who was coming home from the war. She never went back except to visit.

[Chris_]

Great post and please keep doing so.

Nice pics -- what a beautiful view.

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

Going until the land stops. Steinbeck said the same thing. Great minds, ASDF! Best of luck on your journey.

Yes I agree and I think JTY does too!

[asdf2231]

Sunday, May 4th.
Arrived at the cabin Thursday afternoon and then spent the evening shopping for food and essentials. I was too bloody tired to do much else.  Friday was an unpack and recovery day. Got the cabin settled as much as I could in a fashion that suits.  I am occupying the small back bedroom.  The loft just didn’t feel right.  By Saturday I was a little stir crazy. Two damp and cloudy days and I was fighting a bit of a cold.  Drove into Shelton and saw Iron Man at the theater.    The area is all mist covered mountains and huge fir trees shagged with moss and undergrowth.  The people are the usual scenic area combination of moneyed tourist and the rural poor. You can sort of get a feel for exactly how rural you are by counting the road signs peppered with bullet holes. There are a LOT of them up here. The hood canal provides a bit of contrasting blue to the sea of green and offers a small feel of the real ocean.
After doing a little organizing last night I set the alarm early and drove some three and a half hours north and did the hiking trail at Cape Flattery.  The road up paralleled the straight that runs between the U.S. and Canada.  When they post a curve at 25mph they REALLY mean it.  Blow one of those turns and its 50-70 feet down onto the rock shore of the straights below.  Cape Flattery is the tip of the country. You can’t get any further North or West of the lower 48 without waders.  Stunning country up here. The country sort of runs straight up and down.  Jagged rocks and pine forests, grassy meadows and maples and birch in the valleys. DARK green forests draped in moss and shadows.  You seriously expect to see a hobbit and a bunch of dwarves rushing about trying to crash an Elvish dinner party. The dark out here at night is pretty damn absolute too.  You move around after sunset and the sounds of the forest send a sort of atavistic chill up your back and send your hindbrain gibbering off for your pointy stick and your torch to scare off the saber tooths.  I have decided to do my bit of wilderness camping around the full moon. Probably the 15th.  Which is not, I might add DURING the full moon. I have in fact seen that movie. Several times, lol.
Cape Flattery. The hiking kicked my ass. Slightly improved trail that was steep and slippery in most places.  Out of shape. Feeling old.  But I fricking well did it.  Took some nice pictures from the cliffs and did a little poking around on the side trails.  This place is SO full of life! Ferns, flowers, creepers, seedlings, mushrooms…     It’s mind-blowing the variety of vegetation you can find in a small area up here.  I walked a bit on a beach afterwards trying to find a good sand dollar for my Mancub. I have always loved the Ocean. And the Pacific has always been what I think of when I think “Sea”. I was regretting not having the time to do more beach combing today.  It was late in the afternoon and the drive home was as long as the drive there.  More so, as I was bushed.  Burned a steak on the grill and ate a big dinner, and I am writing this on the front porch of the cabin with a cup of coffee at hand and the sound of a million tree frogs filling the night.  The clear sky has stretched through the evening and the stars will be spectacular when full dark comes.
The nights are the hardest. I have taken to leaving the radio or the CD player on just to fill the empty spaces with a little noise. I miss the feel of my wife lying warm next to me and the smell of her hair.  I miss the feeling of my son’s small strong arms around my neck and my daughter’s laughter.  I know I came up here to be alone, but I didn’t count on feeling this lonely while I was doing it. I am going to hit the internet café down mountain tomorrow and check email, post this and try to catch a weather report for the rest of the week.  I also need to drive into Shelton to pick up my access permit from the timber company office so I can do my river trek later in the month.
I am planning on working a bit on the writing project early week and then heading south on 101 late in the week and doing some camping at one of the state parks along the beaches around the Columbia river bar.   I’m finding the solitude and the peace I was looking for. I am just honestly not sure if I was looking for this much of it.

[bijou]

Thanks for sharing your trip with us. The writing and the pics are top quality, whatever your writing project is I am sure it will be a success if it is of this standard. 

[RobJohnson]

I am glad that you are doing ok and things seem to be pretty safe so far.

I will continue to lift your trip up in prayer.

Great pictures.

[DixieBelle]

Keep 'em coming! I'm loving the pictures. This is going to make a great story!

[asdf2231]

[Rebel]

Yeah, I almost made it. Isn't it about a mile hike from the road to the point?

[jtyangel]

Going until the land stops. Steinbeck said the same thing. Great minds, ASDF! Best of luck on your journey.

Yes I agree and I think JTY does too!

You can respectfully bite my shrinking a$$. 

[Toastedturningtidelegs]

Going until the land stops. Steinbeck said the same thing. Great minds, ASDF! Best of luck on your journey.

Yes I agree and I think JTY does too!

You can respectfully bite my shrinking a$$. 

Bare it!