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Author Topic: Floridian in epic 'help' fail  (Read 1931 times)

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Offline bijou

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Floridian in epic 'help' fail
« on: August 25, 2011, 09:11:00 AM »
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An accused naked man encountered last week at Humiston Park in Vero Beach defied arrest, saying, "'I'm just out here helping people!'"

A couple and their teen daughters flagged down a Vero Beach police officer just before 8 p.m. Aug. 19 about a man exposing himself at the showers, a recently released arrest affidavit states.

johnson_mug_front.jpgPolice spied accused nude dude Robert Johnson, 57, standing sans clothes in view of about 15 to 20 people. Witnesses said Johnson strolled "completely naked" for three to four minutes on the beach before police arrived.

Johnson's genitalia was "plainly visible," the affidavit states. Police told Johnson he couldn't be naked in public, and Johnson declined to provide identification.

"'You can't take me to jail for this, I'm just out here helping people!'" Johnson is quoted as saying.

It wasn't immediately clear whether Johnson elaborated on the assistance he said he was providing.  ...
  Floriduh
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Floridian in epic 'help' fail
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2011, 09:44:49 AM »
Well, he IS out there helping people!

He's out there showing them what the smallest penis in the world looks like.

And he clearly is out of his head with an eye for a needle.
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Offline bijou

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Re: Floridian in epic 'help' fail
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2011, 09:47:17 AM »
Quote from: Eupher on August 25, 2011, 09:44:49 AM
Well, he IS out there helping people!

He's out there showing them what the smallest penis in the world looks like.

And he clearly is out of his head with an eye for a needle.
So you reckon that by arresting him, the police have really shafted him?
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Floridian in epic 'help' fail
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2011, 09:49:53 AM »
Quote from: bijou on August 25, 2011, 09:47:17 AM
So you reckon that by arresting him, the police have really shafted him?

No, I think he was merely stroking his own ego. And let's not forget the crack in the back -- that kinda stuff can be simply disgusting.
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Offline Gina

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Re: Floridian in epic 'help' fail
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2011, 10:11:13 AM »
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The Johnson in question is not to be confused with a man of the same name who gained international fame posthumously as what many consider the greatest blues player ever, with artists including the Rolling Stones, the Allman Brothers and Eric Clapton extolling his works.

 :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Floridian in epic 'help' fail
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2011, 10:40:40 AM »
"You can call me Ray...or you can call Jay......but you doesn't have to call me Johnson."...remember him... :rotf:
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Offline Gina

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Re: Floridian in epic 'help' fail
« Reply #6 on: August 25, 2011, 11:33:28 AM »
My first boyfriend was half vietnamese. His name I shit you not was "Jeffrey Long Johnson"   :lmao:
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"An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer." Phillip of Macedonia, father to Alexander.

Offline CG6468

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Re: Floridian in epic 'help' fail
« Reply #7 on: August 25, 2011, 11:44:22 AM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on August 25, 2011, 10:40:40 AM
"You can call me Ray...or you can call Jay......but you doesn't have to call me Johnson."...remember him... :rotf:

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoYsfbq3vMc[/youtube]
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: Floridian in epic 'help' fail
« Reply #8 on: August 25, 2011, 12:44:55 PM »
Quote from: Gina on August 25, 2011, 11:33:28 AM
My first boyfriend was half vietnamese. His name I shit you not was "Jeffrey Long Johnson"   :lmao:

It may even have been true, by Asian standards...
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