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Offline franksolich

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announcement from franksolich
« on: July 23, 2011, 07:26:09 PM »
The other day, one of our esteemed colleagues, Ballygrl, suggested that there be some sort of contest for a "best thread title" here in the DUmpster, as she finds some of our headlines absolutely hilarious.

I thought, yeah, sure, I'd look into it, although I'm not really enthusiastic about adding to the "top primitives" festival that comes every December, and I'm sure Mr. Wiggum thinks the same.  As it is, there's an awful lot of keeping track and counting involved without adding any more.

But I thought I'd at least check to see what it might involve.

I'm not sure most are aware of how much material is here in the DUmpster.

Trust me, it's lots.

But I diligently and pains-takingly checked it out anyway, to see if it might be feasible.

I selected a primitive whose appearance here is pretty "average"--less than, for example, the sparkling husband dude or Doug's stupid ex-wife, but more than, for example, the unappellated eohippus or the formica primitive.

I wanted to see how many headlines an "average" primitive makes in the DUmpster.

So I did that.

Uh, no way.
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apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline franksolich

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Re: announcement from franksolich
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2011, 07:26:55 PM »
A universal truth: Almost 99% of everything is bullshit.
A very few have always controlled the many
Advice from a paranoid: Keep holding your breath until noon on Tuesday
An explosion of insanity
Another Nail: NJ Dems Vote to Strip Union Rights
Assuming you believe in God and were knocking on heaven's gate
Big-nosed DUmpmonkey has foresight: The Dems: A party of self-destruction?
Big Nosed DUmpmonkie pines for Obama.
Big Nosed primitive is one happy sod
big proboscised primitive wants to walk around nude
Blood Bank Bushwhack Bouncy
Can anyone tell me what constitutes a WIN in Iraq?
Cyrano and the Concentration Camp bouncy
Cyrano could make the trains run on time too
Cyrano crys,bobbo whines...all is normal at the Dump
Cyrano Cries, Havoc Wreaks
Cyrano describes why so many voted for O...doesn`t realize it though
Cyrano is crying again
Cyrano is sad
Cyrano goes limp
Cyrano lost his star: WTF is a DU AdBot?
Cyrano runs the projector and burns out the bulb
Cyrano watching his destruction
Cyrano whines on
Cyranose doesn't get why blacks won't stay on the plantation
Does Rush Limbaugh have blood on his hands?
DUmmies Discuss A New Civil War
DUmmies Discuss (Again) The Apocalypse Of Republican Power
DUmmies Discuss Appearances
DUmmies Discuss Barbarians Taking Over Florida
DUmmies Discuss Being Sold Out, And Killing Kenny
DUmmies discuss confederate flag
DUmmies Discuss Decency And Demonizing
DUmmies Discuss Hard Times - DUmmy Cyrano Raped And Discarded
DUmmies discuss London's tribute to Ronaldus Magnus
DUmmies Discuss Purity Of Thought
DUmmies Discuss The Chosen Muslim's Infallibility
DUmmies Discuss The Jug-Eared Kenyan's Intelligence
DUmmies Discuss Their Love For America
DUmmies Discuss War Crimes Of Both Bushco And The Jug-Eared Muslim
Evil RWers stole the nation we were stealing from them
Hatred is bad for your health
Have yourself a merry little DU Christmas
Here’s why conservatives are enemies of the human race
How dumb do you have to be to vote for a Republican?
How long before the wingnuts try to tie Obama to Blagojevich?
If you were granted three wishes to change the world, what would they be?
"insanity" best describes Oscar Wilde
Is America broken beyond repair?
Lack of abortion rights could spell the end of the Democratic Party
large-proboscised anti-rustican primitive gives up gourmet coffee
large proboscised primitive an evolutionary mistake
large proboscised primitive beats a tattoo for W.F. Buckley
large proboscised primitive being patriotic
large proboscised primitive goes psycho
large proboscised primitive still feels threatened
Many Republican voters have to be among the dumbest people in the world
Mitt is white! Obama is black! And that may be the 2012 Republican campaign slogan
Oscar Wilde a good German now
Oscar Wilde admits he's a loser
Oscar Wilde and white trash
Oscar Wilde announces surprising October contest
Oscar Wilde asks primitives what's wrong with America
Oscar Wilde asks primitives which crimes George Bush hasn't committed
Oscar Wilde assures the primitives the Obamanation is well-protected
Oscar Wilde bashes distinguished southern U.S. Senator
Oscar Wilde bashes southerners again
Oscar Wilde begs the primitives to read James Thurber
Oscar Wilde being an idiot again
Oscar Wilde being cowardly
Oscar Wilde being Luddish
Oscar Wilde being paranoid
Oscar Wilde being silently left
Oscar Wilde California Peggys gun-owners
Oscar Wilde calls us his enemy
Oscar Wilde choking on bile
Oscar Wilde describes himself
Oscar Wilde didn't hear
Oscar Wilde discusses life without food
Oscar Wilde disillusioned
Oscar Wilde doesn't have a plan, fisticuffs with the anti-osteopathic primitive
Oscar Wilde doesn't think so
Oscar Wilde emulates the subway cat
Oscar Wilde explains why we vote Republican
Oscar Wilde faces it
Oscar Wilde finds primitives not exactly elegant company
Oscar Wilde getting ready to upchuck
Oscar Wilde gets drownded out
Oscar Wilde gives blood
Oscar Wilde goes overboard
Oscar Wilde goes to Hell; no one there
Oscar Wilde got screwed
Oscar Wilde has a star now; can avoid DU AdBot
Oscar Wilde has had it
Oscar Wilde has never admitted to being a rocket scientist
Oscar Wilde hopes Messalina Agrippina's grateful
Oscar Wilde hopes to survive his adolescence
Oscar Wilde is afraid
Oscar Wilde is broke
Oscar Wilde knocks himself out
Oscar Wilde knows how hard it is out there
Oscar Wilde knows the Democrats are wimps
Oscar Wilde looks for superior species; doesn't find one on Skins's island
Oscar Wilde needs a job
Oscar Wilde needs help with resume
Oscar Wilde no model of moderation
Oscar Wilde not a happy camper
Oscar Wilde offers advice to the primitives
Oscar Wilde on Wall Street
Oscar Wilde, other primitives, discuss male sexual organs
Oscar Wilde passes the torch; generation gap widens
Oscar Wilde peddling same old stuff
Oscar Wilde picks the next Republican president
Oscar Wilde pleads insanity
Oscar Wilde presents a clear and present danger
Oscar Wilde primitive knows about dark side of moon
Oscar Wilde primitive once again proven to be political idiot
Oscar Wilde ranting again
Oscar Wilde reveals to the primitives George Bush's last words
Oscar Wilde says John Kennedy was a jelly doughnut; debate turns ugly
Oscar Wilde sees invisible Americans
Oscar Wilde snaps
Oscar Wilde suggests universal firearms ownership
Oscar Wilde takes a dump
Oscar Wilde tells friend she's an idiot
Oscar Wilde the art critic; gets bonfire doused
Oscar Wilde, the big-proboscised primitive, feels threatened
Oscar Wilde the life of the party
Oscar Wilde thinks
Oscar Wilde trashes bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive's head gear
Oscar Wilde trashes facebook, twitter
Oscar Wilde tries to pack a town hall; fails
Oscar Wilde underestimates Republicans
Oscar Wilde unrecommends "unrec"s
Oscar Wilde uses the N word
Oscar Wilde voices opinion
Oscar Wilde waging class warfare
Oscar Wilde wants Chris Matthews to take a dump
Oscar Wilde wants Liebermann, Specter, to go fishing
Oscar Wilde wants to cure sickness
Oscar Wilde wants to do some construction
Oscar Wilde wants to fight back; slams B.0. again
Oscar Wilde wants to know where to go from here
Oscar Wilde wants to remodel Skins's island
Oscar Wilde wants to surrender
Oscar Wilde wants to talk about this
Oscar Wilde whining again
Oscar Wilde whining again
primitives discuss civil war
primitives give tips
Question: should Obama be a penishead and ignore tradition to please a DUmper?
ruralphobic big proboscised primitive pans MoDo
Screwed in Florida
So if Bush and his gang of thugs attack Iran, what do we do about it?
So is “God” an American, or what?
So who do you shoot at?
The Rush Limbaughs of this country are whipping up the Timothy McVeighs of this
THEY are winning
"Whiner" (Cyrano)
Why are we letting ourselves get screwed … and screwed … and screwed?
Why isn't Obama preventing our destruction? Cyrano
Will this World Series get political?
Logged
apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline Ballygrl

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Re: announcement from franksolich
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2011, 07:32:32 PM »
Oh jeez frank, I didn't think there would be so many titles :lmao:, that's OK. I just :lmao: hysterically at some of the titles and was wondering if they should be recognized, but like you said, there's too many to choose from LOL.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: announcement from franksolich
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2011, 07:36:48 PM »
Quote from: Ballygrl on July 23, 2011, 07:32:32 PM
Oh jeez frank, I didn't think there would be so many titles :lmao:, that's OK. I just :lmao: hysterically at some of the titles and was wondering if they should be recognized, but like you said, there's too many to choose from LOL.

I figured you'd be a good sport about it, madam, once you saw an example of what it involves.

Man, there's just s-o-o-o-o-o-o much stuff here in the DUmpster.

If I were a primitive, I'd stay here all day long, reading about myself.
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apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: announcement from franksolich
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2011, 08:00:51 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on July 23, 2011, 07:36:48 PM
If I were a primitive, I'd stay here all day long, reading about myself.
They do.
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Offline DefiantSix

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Re: announcement from franksolich
« Reply #5 on: July 23, 2011, 08:03:29 PM »
Quote from: GOBUCKS on July 23, 2011, 08:00:51 PM
They do.

Except for the unterprimitiven who troll the depths, looking for any mention of their callsign here; anything that makes them more significant than the rest of the nameless, faceless lynch mob they coagulate with.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: announcement from franksolich
« Reply #6 on: July 23, 2011, 09:19:31 PM »
Quote from: GOBUCKS on July 23, 2011, 08:00:51 PM
They do.

As you know, sir, rarely do I do anything for just one reason; in this case there were two.

The first was of course to get a random sample to see if Ballygrl's idea was feasible (which, alas, it's really not).

The second was to crank up the ParGen, the paranoia generator.

Revealing the list of threads, I'll bet Oscar Wilde, the large-proboscised primitive, is now more paranoid than ever, seeing how much the DUmpster has on him, a mere "average" primitive.

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apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline franksolich

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Re: announcement from franksolich
« Reply #7 on: July 23, 2011, 09:52:19 PM »
Quote from: franksolich on July 23, 2011, 09:19:31 PM
The second was to crank up the ParGen, the paranoia generator.

Hmmm.

I just did a quick spot-check.

It appears the primitive with the most coverage here has been not Doug's stupid ex-wife or the sparkling husband dude after all, but.....Ms. Ed, the unappellated eohippus, the "Horse with no Name" primitive.

I'd thought she was "below average" in number of appearances here.

The High Priestess of Moloch to the primitives is not necessarily the primitive with the most exposure, but she's the one with the most, that I've found.

The sparkling husband dude and Doug's stupid ex-wife are just going to have to try harder, I guess.

- - - - -

edited to add: Pedro Picasso, the "Atman" primitive, has gotten about two and a half times the coverage Oscar Wilde has.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2011, 09:56:56 PM by franksolich »
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apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."

Offline Tucker

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Re: announcement from franksolich
« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2011, 03:33:12 AM »
I try and infuse the topic of the DUmmy title into my title so that lurking DUmmies can easily spot their masterpiece.

By choosing a title here that is easily identifiable with the DUmmy campfire, it helps cut down on the redundancies.
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Offline miskie

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Re: announcement from franksolich
« Reply #9 on: July 24, 2011, 08:21:46 AM »
Quote from: Tucker on July 24, 2011, 03:33:12 AM
I try and infuse the topic of the DUmmy title into my title so that lurking DUmmies can easily spot their masterpiece.

By choosing a title here that is easily identifiable with the DUmmy campfire, it helps cut down on the redundancies.

That's my usual technique - I try to keep the original title, though I will occasionally stray from that if the thread really deserves it.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: announcement from franksolich
« Reply #10 on: July 24, 2011, 12:07:29 PM »
Quote from: miskie on July 24, 2011, 08:21:46 AM
That's my usual technique - I try to keep the original title, though I will occasionally stray from that if the thread really deserves it.

There's lot of people here who are creative with headlines, but Freeper usually takes the cake, and Tucker's not too far behind.

Although the best headline I've ever seen here--and alas I've forgotten what it was--was by GOBUCKS; it wasn't colorful or anything, but it had that one element necessary for making a good headline.

The primitives were discussing some rather dull subject--wind energy, solar energy, or something like that--and usually that's not anything that appeals to the audience here.

However, GOBUCKS gave the headline the touch it needed, to attract an audience.

He mentioned "primitives xxxxxxxxxx, Las Vegas Leviathan weighs in."

Now, normally very few people would be interested in the topic the primitives were discussing, but--

--everybody's interested in what a quarter-ton "expert" has to say about the matter, and so GOBUCKS' thread did in fact attract a wide audience.
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apres moi, le deluge

Milo Yiannopoulos "It has been obvious since 2016 that Trump carries an anointing of some kind. My American friends, are you so blind to reason, and deaf to Heaven? Can he do all this, and cannot get a crown? This man is your King. Coronate him, and watch every devil shriek, and every demon howl."
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