I've spent all day on Skins's island, going here and there, hither and yon, and it occurred to me that a new category of primitive is needed.
There are, in descending order of worthwhileability, non-primitives, first-tier primitives, second-tier primitives, third-tier primitives, the unterprimitiven (the lynch mob), bottom-of-the-barrel primitives, and drek primitives.
Non-primitives are those inhabitants of Skins's island possessing distinctive features indicating at least a slight minuscule tinge of intelligent thought; also non-primitives have a life outside of Skins's island.
Examples of non-primitives are my fellow alum Skins himself, the operating one (OperationMindCrime), the buzzy one (BuzzClik), libelhistorian (liberalhistorian), Pedro Picasso (Atman), &c., &c., &c.
First-tier primitives are those primitives who have a life outside of Skins's island, but who may not necessarily indicate a glimmer of intelligent thought.
Examples of first-tier primitives are the carpetbagging maternal ancestress (Raven), the spunking monk (MonkeyFunk, or whatever; I forget), the cuckoo clock primitive (KoKo01), the Kali primitive (not to be confused with the cali primitive from Vermont; the Kali primitive is from southernmost Texas), the Leona Helmsley of DUmmieland (flyarm), &c., &c., &c.
Second-tier primitives are those primitives who exercise a great deal of influence, usually malign, over the other primitives.
Examples of second-tier primitives are the mike_c primitive, the malicious cartoon character primitive (Kelvin Mace), that primitive with the really stupid screen name (nnnnnnnnnhhhhhhh or something like that), the watery primitive (H2O Man), the dysmenopausal Kansas school teacher (Proud2BeLib), the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive (Redstone), Oscar Wilde (the large-proboscised "Cyrano" primitive), &c., &c., &c.
These are examples only; the lists of course are a lot longer than the primitives named.
Third-tier primitives are those primitives who wish to be second-tier primitives, but who don't have the brainpower to move upward.
Examples of third-tier primitives are Ms. Ed the unappellated eohippus, the shadowy primitive (Shadow69, I think, although there's a ShadowKnows; whichever primitive of the two who alleges to be literary), the burdened primitive (Tyler Durden), the sparkling husband primitive (Husb2Sparkly), and the solar bust primitive (garybeck).
The unterprimitiven, the lynch mob, is circa 95% of all the primitives; the mindless followers.
The bottom-of-the-barrel primitives are what the name implies; a good example of a bottom-of-the-barrel primitive would be--of course--the subway cat (UndergroundPanther); also the wiley primitive (Wiley50 or WileCoyote; I forget which, but the one a worthless freeloading bum) and the lying titty primitive (TomInTib).
Drek primitives are exactly what that term in Yiddish implies, with all of its vigorous color; just useless garbage. Examples of drek primitives include the Bostonian Drunkard, Doug's ex-wife sfexpat2000, and the generous non-benefactor, the creator of the SUPPORT THE TROOPS "ribbon," the IanDB1 primitive.
Drek primitives are primitives who have no, absolutely no, redeeming value.
Well, if that didn't go low enough, after last night, one had to devise a new category of primitive, the lowest form of primitive possible (biting my tongue, crossing my fingers, knocking on wood), lower even than bottom-of-the-barrel and drek primitives.
I have baptized them the sub-primitives, the most savage and barbaric and uncivilized of all the primitives.
Sub-primitives are the Obamaite primitives.
