DUmmy Horse With No Brain Hits The Jackpot

[GOBUCKS]

DUmmy Horse with no Brain, the Texas trailer park dick inspector, has a job offer:

Horse with no Name  (1000+ posts)        Sat Jul-09-11 01:19 AM
Original message
I just got a job match. It is in the "private sector" paying $80/hour--40 hour work week.
Although I have a job, I kept myself listed...just in case.

However...this is double the normal pay for what I do.
It is in the private sector.

I can't imagine what it might be, or even better--WHO it might be for...but even for that kind of money, I think I will steer clear.
Something doesn't sound right with this one.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1449239
Who would have thought Horse with no Brain, inspecting male "private sectors" in her single wide trailer, was making $40 an hour? I guess it sort of makes sense, if you consider $40 an hour could be interpreted to mean $10 for a 15-minute session. But man, she would really have to keep the customers rolling in an out the door at a quick step, 40 hours a week. More likely it's a half dozen customers on a good day. Much more, and it wouldn't make sense to live in that dusty, hot, crappy trailer park. If this DUmmy makes $75K, I'm the King of England.

None of the DUmbasses thinks it's unusual to have a decent job quoted at "$80 an hour", rather than a monthly or maybe annual salary. But, DUmmies aren't familiar with decent jobs.
 

For example, in DUmmyworld, a $150K job must involve illegal drugs, or risking one's life:

EstimatedProphet  (1000+ posts)        Sat Jul-09-11 01:20 AM
Response to Original message
1. It might very likely involve trips to Colombia and the word "mule"

21st Century FDR (155 posts)      Sat Jul-09-11 01:24 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. Or trips to Iraq and the word "Blackwater"
either way, working with criminals and likely to get killed.

kestrel91316  (1000+ posts)        Sat Jul-09-11 01:29 AM
Response to Original message
5. Driving trucks through the Tora Bora area, I suspect.

[BattleHymn]

either way, working with criminals and likely to get killed.

translation:  Horse with no Brain got a job offer as a bill collector in the trailer park.

[Rebel]

translation:  Horse with no Brain got a job offer as a bill collector in the trailer park.

No, translation is Horse with no Brain is a ****ing idiot. I get those all the time, and they're almost ALWAYS incorrect. I've had them that showed me being a fit for a db admin. I f'n HATE databases. Also saw one with me being a software engineer. I hate that shit more than db's.

[BannedFromDU]

I think DUmmies would lose their shit at the level of compensation in the real, non-CEO world. My hourly jack comes out to abour $160/hr, and I am not at the top of the heap at all. I know many, many people who are not employed by Blackwater or Goldman Sachs who do substantially better than I do, and a lot of people who make less but still in excess of $100/hr.

That's the economy for productive, valuable people who know how to get along with others. People who don't have time to make excuses for why they refuse to get along with others, refuse to fall into line, refuse to be part of a team, and so on. Every single workplace story they concoct has them butting heads with their coworkers over politics. That makes them assholes, not firebrands, and explains why they can't get jobs, and if they have jobs, why they can't get paid.

[Tucker]

Whatever it is, if it's real to begin with, I'd bet there is the potential for an extended stay in club fed if she gets caught.

For whats its worth, if any DUmmy were offered an 80 p/h job, the would run out and spend the first months salary of shinny doodads, all on a credit card, before thay even started.

[Mr Mannn]

Horse with no Name  (1000+ posts)        Sat Jul-09-11 01:19 AM
Original message
I just got a job match. It is in the "private sector" paying $80/hour--40 hour work week.
Although I have a job, I kept myself listed...just in case.

However...this is double the normal pay for what I do.
It is in the private sector.

I can't imagine what it might be, or even better--WHO it might be for...but even for that kind of money, I think I will steer clear.
Something doesn't sound right with this one.

Translation for the bolded part: Passing a drug test is required.

[franksolich]

The unappellated eohippus, if she's making $40 an hour, must've gotten a raise from a couple of years ago.

A couple of years ago, Ms. Ed was telling the world she made only $24,000 a year.

[commonguymd]

The unappellated eohippus, if she's making $40 an hour, must've gotten a raise from a couple of years ago.

A couple of years ago, Ms. Ed was telling the world she made only $24,000 a year.

Let's break it down in dummie terms.   She may very well make 24000 a year.   I can accept that.   That equates to roughly 11.50 an hour or 92 dollars a day in the real world.   Now, in dummie world, reality seeps in at times.   She punches in 40 hours a week, or 8 hours a day probably, yet only really works 2 and a half hours out of those 8.  The rest is posting on DU time, reading, complaining, eating, yakking on the phone, and other assorted non-productive stuff.  If you divide that 92 dollars per day by 2.5 hours of legitimate work you get to 36.80 an hour.   So 40 is just exaggerating a tad, but this poster tends to spin quite the yarns of embellishment from time to time anyway....

[jukin]

Isn't she a nurse? This could be true, traveling nurses bring down some scratch. Part of the reason health care is so expensive.

[franksolich]

Isn't she a nurse?

That's the thing about the unappellated eohippus; she hints at it, but has never said flat-out that she is.

The only thing that's certain is that Ms. Ed wants to give that impression.

It's sort of like what the Bostonian Drunkard used to have on his wikipedia entry (it's been changed since), where he said he worked for a law firm in San Francisco, thus hinting that he had a law degree (even though he didn't, and doesn't) when in fact he was only a runner, a courier, an errand-boy, there.

He wanted to give the impression that he used to be an attorney, but couldn't quite flat-out lie and say it.

[GOBUCKS]

I just wish she'd get off this kick, and get back to tales about her crazy, slutty daughter, and moving from the single-wide into the abandoned farmhouse.
Wonder if her old farmhouse storyline was an "abortive" attempt to connect with coach.

[franksolich]

Wonder if her old farmhouse storyline was an "abortive" attempt to connect with coach.

Ain't no way the greasy slut's going to "connect" with franksolich, even if she were standing out on the front porch with no clothes on.  No way.

[BlueStateSaint]

Ain't no way the greasy slut's going to "connect" with franksolich, even if she were standing out on the front porch with no clothes on.  No way.

Nice to know that there are some things that you won't "take for the team." Coach . . . 

[miskie]

No, translation is Horse with no Brain is a ****ing idiot. I get those all the time, and they're almost ALWAYS incorrect. I've had them that showed me being a fit for a db admin. I f'n HATE databases. Also saw one with me being a software engineer. I hate that shit more than db's.

I still get them all the time, and I haven't been looking for a job in years. THe last time I seriously considered one of these offers was in 2001, an offer to administer an aging IBM AS/400 for a small business. I was better off staying with AT&T.

[franksolich]

Nice to know that there are some things that you won't "take for the team." Coach . . .  

Things franksolich won't take for the team:

(a) hop around in the sack with the unappellated eohippus
(b) hop around in the sack with the Die alte Sau
(c) hop around in the sack with the CalPig primitive
(d) hop around in the sack with the grasswire primitive
(e) hop around in the sack with my fellow alum Skins's wife
(f) be seen in public with the subway cat
(g) cry along with my fellow Nebraskan Omaha Steve

There might be some others, but it's hot, and I'm not cerebrally moving along at 100%; also, (e) is not because of any qualities she may have, but instead simply because one doesn't screw around with a fellow alum's wife.

franksolich however is always willing to take one for the team if the results are potentially positive, such as bedding nadinostradamus so as to untwist her mind or drinking whiskey and playing poker with the sparkling husband primitive so as to show him how to act like a man.

[Tucker]

Things franksolich won't take for the team:

(a) hop around in the sack with the unappellated eohippus
(b) hop around in the sack with the Die alte Sau
(c) hop around in the sack with the CalPig primitive
(d) hop around in the sack with the grasswire primitive
(e) hop around in the sack with my fellow alum Skins's wife
(f) be seen in public with the subway cat
(g) cry along with my fellow Nebraskan Omaha Steve

There might be some others, but it's hot, and I'm not cerebrally moving along at 100%; also, (e) is not because of any qualities she may have, but instead simply because one doesn't screw around with a fellow alum's wife.

franksolich however is always willing to take one for the team if the results are potentially positive, such as bedding nadinostradamus so as to untwist her mind or drinking whiskey and playing poker with the sparkling husband primitive so as to show him how to act like a man.

I noticed Hippywife AKA Mrs. Alfred Packer suspiciously missing from that list.

[franksolich]

I noticed Hippywife AKA Mrs. Alfred Packer suspiciously missing from that list.

Well, Mrs. Alfred Packer, the hippywife primitive, is a special case; for example, please notice that I've never nominated her for a top primitive award, and during the nominations, actively worked to discourage others from nominating her.

I don't lump her with all the other primitives; she's a special case, being my literary muse.

Since she's a special case, I can't imagine a scenario where doing something with Mrs. Alfred Packer would be "taking one for the team."

[Tucker]

Well, Mrs. Alfred Packer, the hippywife primitive, is a special case; for example, please notice that I've never nominated her for a top primitive award, and during the nominations, actively worked to discourage others from nominating her.

I don't lump her with all the other primitives; she's a special case, being my literary muse.

Since she's a special case, I can't imagine a scenario where doing something with Mrs. Alfred Packer would be "taking one for the team."

Sounds like a "Will work for food" scenario.

Work being, ya know, Ahem. Food... well we know your fondness for the food section.

[GOBUCKS]

Things franksolich won't take for the team:

(a) hop around in the sack with the unappellated eohippus
(b) hop around in the sack with the Die alte Sau
(c) hop around in the sack with the CalPig primitive
(d) hop around in the sack with the grasswire primitive
(e) hop around in the sack with my fellow alum Skins's wife
(f) be seen in public with the subway cat
(g) cry along with my fellow Nebraskan Omaha Steve

There might be some others, but it's hot, and I'm not cerebrally moving along at 100%; also, (e) is not because of any qualities she may have, but instead simply because one doesn't screw around with a fellow alum's wife.

franksolich however is always willing to take one for the team if the results are potentially positive, such as bedding nadinostradamus so as to untwist her mind or drinking whiskey and playing poker with the sparkling husband primitive so as to show him how to act like a man.

Anyone planning to be hopping around with DUmp females needs to be very aware of the presence of infectious microbes.
 
Take a tip from the bagger at your local supermarket. A bloody package of chicken or other meat is put into a plastic bag, and then that bag is put into a second bag.

Protection from two layers of a thin polymer.
And the germs that might live on a piece of raw chicken are child's play compared to the potential from a DUmpette.

[BattleHymn]

franksolich however is always willing to take one for the team if the results are potentially positive, such as bedding nadinostradamus so as to untwist her mind

I've noticed a few rather amorous postings from frank in regards to nadin.  I was thinking that it might be rutting season up there in frank's part of Nebraska.  This makes a little more sense.   

[franksolich]

I've noticed a few rather amorous postings from frank in regards to nadin.  I was thinking that it might be rutting season up there in frank's part of Nebraska.  This makes a little more sense.   

Now, my preference for dark-haired women of obvious Hebraic derivation is a well-known preference, sir.

<<has never seen an ugly Jewish woman.

And no, Helen Thomas is not Jewish.

I have no idea where that preference comes from, but it's been in me since I was a kid.

[GOBUCKS]

Now, my preference for dark-haired women of obvious Hebraic derivation is a well-known preference, sir.

<<has never seen an ugly Jewish woman.

And no, Helen Thomas is not Jewish.

I have no idea where that preference comes from, but it's been in me since I was a kid.

Coach doesn't do TV, so he's not familiar with Joy Behar.

[franksolich]

Coach doesn't do TV, so he's not familiar with Joy Behar.

More usually, I "picture" a leaner, more svelte, Sophia Loren.

She was a movie star, but I know her, because she's in history books.

And that's the way I'm "seeing" the nadinostradamus primitive right now.  

A leaner, trimmer, Sophia Loren.

[franksolich]

Okay, I had to go look up images of "Joy Behar," because I've never seen her, or even heard of her, before.

The nose is too small, sorry.

[Chris_]

More usually, I "picture" a leaner, more svelte, Sophia Loren.

She was a movie star, but I know her, because she's in history books.

And that's the way I'm "seeing" the nadinostradamus primitive right now. 

A leaner, trimmer, Sophia Loren.

Oh God...

I can't believe I just read that.  You are forgiven, of course, but no.  Just... no.  Joy Behar has more in common with Hillary Clinton than Sophia Loren.  A tree stump has more in common with Sophia Loren than Joy Behar.