In which the hive-drones list their demands in a prospective mate:
lapislzi (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-01-11 09:51 AM
Original message
Do you subject potential romantic partners to a litmus test?
I never used to, but I have become stricter and stricter in my standards over the years. I simply don't (didn't) feel like investing time and energy in a relationship if I know pointless arguments are going to ensue. I relaxed my standards a few years ago and entered a relationship with a Believer (a moderately devout Christian). That turned out to be a slippery slope. His so-called "progressive" views really cloaked a closet conservative. And, he wasted oceans of my precious time trying to persuade me to believe in a god.
I knew my husband was The One when I found out he was a DUer. I was nervous about entering the relationship. When I expressed doubts, he directed me to his blog, with links to DU and Rude Pundit. This atheist found heaven.
Share your stories, brothers and sisters?
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1396696rug (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-01-11 09:52 AM
Response to Original message
1. As long as she doesn't have crabs, all is well.
That rules out most of the XX chromosomers at DU.
The Velveteen Ocelot (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-01-11 09:57 AM
Response to Original message
7. At my age and lack of aesthetic qualities I'd settle for a pulse
and no recent felony convictions.
Seriously, though, there are a few things that would be deal-breakers - I wouldn't get involved with a religious fundamentalist of any persuasion; a smoker; a right-winger; a libertarian; or anyone who doesn't like cats.
notadmblnd (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-01-11 10:05 AM
Response to Original message
10. They must have 3 things
A job, because I cant support you
A car, because I'm not driving your ass around
A place to live, cause they're not moving in here
But Seriously, at my age- any potential romantic relationship is practically impossible. I find most are Married, sick or otherwise broken by bad relationships.
Dang. That's pretty freeperish, demanding they be self-supporting like that.
Mulhane (77 posts) Fri Jul-01-11 10:32 AM
Response to Original message
21. Even if you meet all the other requirements
Those who work in low-status jobs such as custodian are Untouchables, even in "Liberal" dating sites. DUer or not. Wealth and power = appeal, and higher "class" makes many overlook more idealistic considerations. I've seen it a hundred times. Some sites even state a minimum income reflecting the pay grade of a dentist or radiologist. How many aging Boomers in this shrinking economy can fit that bill? So it is that in my town I see the nicest-looking women who may not be professionals themselves choose soldiers in spite of all the reasons they will probably regret it. This is one reason many men go to the Phillipines or Latin America to find acceptance.
Translation: I'm such a wussy I have to travel all the way to the Phillipines to find a hooker that will service me.
flamingdem (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-01-11 11:21 AM
Response to Reply #21
35. Going to Asia or Latin America for partners also means
for the most part getting more bang for ones buck.
The people I know who do that are enjoying the companionship of someone usually MUCH younger and often MUCH better looking than they are, and they enjoy the power that comes along with the financial inequality and subsequent dependence.
That is not necessarily a bad thing it's not so much about lack at home, it's about a better deal elsewhere.
The thread starts off about meaningfull relationships and takes a detour into sex tourism.
w8liftinglady (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-01-11 10:51 AM
Response to Original message
27. yes. I have to in Texas
My ex- is your typical Limbaugh listener.
I have dated a few men...but only after ascertaining their politics.Hell,I met a couple at political rallies.
My partner right now is a die-hard Democrat,pro-union,pro-gay marriage,pro-legalization,pro-schools,veteran ex-cop current teacher.Not easy to find in the RED HELL known as Texas.
Bet he's a barrel of laughs around election time.
yella_dawg (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-01-11 11:09 AM
Response to Original message
32. Yeah, but nobody's passed it in almost fifteen years.
Not that that's a bad thing.
I see another fifteen years of loneliness in your future.
ElsewheresDaughter (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-01-11 11:15 AM
Response to Original message
34. yes, and #1 is whatt their political stipe is.
That's just sad. For you, I mean. Your "rejects" are extremely lucky.
Sarah Ibarruri (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-01-11 11:23 AM
Response to Original message
37. I have a story and I need some advice
Edited on Fri Jul-01-11 11:27 AM by Sarah Ibarruri
I have been married, divorced, widowed, and was lonely. Someone mentioned I should get on a dating website, and I did. I put up some photos of myself, wrote a profile which was fiercely liberal and Democrat, and I specified that any right wing men need not apply. Then I waited.
Oh my God. I was overwhelmed with e-mails from right wingers, all telling me I was wrong to limit myself to lefties and Democrats, and that I had tunnel vision. I responded to each of them letting them know that I did not respect the point of view of Republicans, and that even in the unlikely chance that I would start a relationship with one, it would end up getting ugly the moment I heard something unempathetic, cruel, or nonsensical come out of their mouth. I ended up e-mailing back and forth with a lot of right wingers, and I'm still e-mailing with a few of these. At times it gets heated and we end up insulting one another. At times, it's merely an attempt at understanding or getting through. I don't like the way right wingers think. It's cruel, it's filled with fear, it's illogical, it involves a lot of fairy tales, and above all, it's punitive.
Meantime, no lefties were e-mailing me. Where are all the lefties? Don't they frequent dating websites?
In any case, one of those right wingers and I got friendly. I began to see things in him that were not so 'right wing.' For example, he thinks all hungry people should be fed, he thinks we need to pull out of the Middle East, he thinks the military budget is through the roof and that needs to stop. He's family oriented, and in that he's like me (I'm Latin, so family is paramount to me). He's also funny and makes me laugh till I cry. He's very much a gentleman, and I love that. He's a science and math guy. Last of all, he LOVES to talk, and boy, so do I.
However, recently I've been noticing things that I think I won't be able to deal with. For example, he believes many of the homeless are 'lazy,' he thinks free trade is great 'in the long run' even if it removed so many jobs from this country that we're now headed to 3rd world status at breakneck speed, and he thinks that increasing the taxes of the rich and corporations to pre-Reagan rates is very bad for the country. These are but an example of those views he holds that I feel completely different about.
I don't want to end this thing in an ugly way. Also, I really want to have a guy to go out with, have fun with, and not be lonely. I really like this right wing guy. Granted, I wouldn't be with him if I'd met some liberals and lefties. However, I don't know what to do. I'm very very committed to my ideals, and they're not right wing.
I have no clue where to go with this.
Well isn't that just ducky? Here's a guy who by your own admission is compassionate and makes you happy. He's a "gentlemen" and "family-oriented" but you're all torn up over his ideas over the federal budget. Maybe you don't deserve a good husband. I have a feeling one would be wasted on you at this point.
Sarah Ibarruri (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-01-11 12:25 PM
Response to Reply #43
44. I know! I want to know why it's so difficult to find liberal men. Where are they all??
I see them on here. I hear about them on TV. Where the heck are they hiding?
I agree on dating right wingers. It's very difficult for me, because I don't accept their ugly view of life.
They're all either queer or punks or stoned out in Mom's basement or attending a sit-in somewhere.
lapislzi (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-01-11 12:55 PM
Response to Reply #41
52. I may have got the last good one.
But, the Rude Pundit's single, I believe. And rather easy on the eye. I was on Geeks are Sexy for awhile, but surprisingly, there were a goodly number of conservatives.
The single most vile, obnoxious person on the internet. It figures.
Kermitt Gribble (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-01-11 01:11 PM
Response to Original message
53. Congrats on finding your DUer husband!
DU should have a dating forum...
I agree! The comedy gold would easily outweigh the Sepember 11 forum.
Sarah Ibarruri (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-01-11 01:16 PM
Response to Reply #53
55. That's an excellent idea! I'll bet it would attract a lot of people, too. nt
Especially CCers looking for good DUmpster material.
