JULY
1 Read in the Bathroom Day
2 Flex Your Muscles Day
3 Remembrance of Vess Ossman
4 Independence Day
5 Be Tolerant of Werewolves Day
6 National Yo-Yo Day
7 The Feast of Smoo's Gronge
8 Three Cheers for Girdles Day
9 Eat Oysters Anyway Day
10 Flea Circus Opens
11 Paramecium Day
12 Singlemecium Day
13 Monock Festival
14 Rutabaga Day
15 Tax Day
16 Summer Bagpipers' Conclave
17 Tennessee Tooter Day
18 Uncle Juan's Annual Haircut
19 International Toad Show
20 The Annual Nose Cone Polish
21 Summer Solstice in Zorbon
22 National Arm Garter Day
23 Homage to the Purple Baboon
24 Gala Funnel Comparisons
25 Bactrian Camel Day
26 Dromedary Day
27 Fuzzy Hat Night at Ferguson's
28 Funny Bunny Festival
29 Moon Day
30 The Angus Annual Flea Flick
31 The Runk Kids' Chicken Gizzard Fight
