I've been giving this unemployment issue much thought and think that I may have come up with a solution that trumps anything that the DUmp minds may suggest. For the first time ever I am going to reveal my plan. Get ready because this is mind blowing.
Do away with our current currency completely. Just put it away. Let it fade into oblivion. The new currency would be Skittles. How would this help you ask? It's simple really. The reason that most people usually work is to earn the money to pay bills. If Skittles became our money no one would have to work. If no one has to work it essentially does away with the problem of unemployment.
Why, you may be asking, would using Skittles as currency relieve us of the burden of having to earn a living? Easy to answer. If you remember it was strongly implied that if we would just lay all of our common sense aside and elect 0 as president we would all have a Skittle-shitting unicorn. Since everyone has a Skittle-shitting unicorn, if Skittles became our official currency everyone would be rich and would not need to work.
Granted, I have yet to receive my Skittle-shitting unicorn, but I'm sure it's just because it's lost in the mail or something. I mean, really, just think of all the good things that were promised to happen if 0 was elected and how they have all come to pass. First there was...uhm...well, there was that...okay...that other thing...uh................sorry...just move along and forget I said anything.