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Author Topic: Hello  (Read 23129 times)

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Offline debk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #25 on: June 22, 2011, 02:15:03 PM »
I am basing this Welcome on your last two posts in this thread.

I hope you will post in other areas than just politics and religion, as we are a fun group with lots of diverse interests.


As I am a mod here (under a different name) I hope I won't regret the welcome.
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Just hand over the chocolate...back away slowly...far away....and you won't get hurt....

Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate.

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." – Dave Barry

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.

Offline Hawk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #26 on: June 22, 2011, 02:28:43 PM »
Quote from: debk on June 22, 2011, 02:15:03 PM
I am basing this Welcome on your last two posts in this thread.

I hope you will post in other areas than just politics and religion, as we are a fun group with lots of diverse interests.


As I am a mod here (under a different name) I hope I won't regret the welcome.


Thank you, and you won't.
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Offline Hawk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #27 on: June 22, 2011, 06:48:44 PM »
I won't be around much for the next 4 days.

http://countrystampede.com/

Won't be sober much either!  :cheersmate:
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Offline debk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #28 on: June 22, 2011, 08:24:28 PM »
Quote from: Hawk on June 22, 2011, 06:48:44 PM
I won't be around much for the next 4 days.

http://countrystampede.com/

Won't be sober much either!  :cheersmate:

What fun!!

I've been watching Blake Shelton on The Voice.
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Just hand over the chocolate...back away slowly...far away....and you won't get hurt....

Save the Earth... it's the only planet with chocolate.

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already." – Dave Barry

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands.

Offline Thor

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Re: Hello
« Reply #29 on: June 22, 2011, 08:29:03 PM »
Not much into country music. Some, but not much. There' a few country cross-overs I like such as Kid Rock, Uncle Kracker, & Taylor Swift. I DO like Toby Keith.
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Offline Hawk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #30 on: June 22, 2011, 08:29:56 PM »
Quote from: debk on June 22, 2011, 08:24:28 PM
What fun!!

I've been watching Blake Shelton on The Voice.

Us as well. We go every year since we live only 1 mile away. Seen some real kick ass shows too.
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Offline Hawk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #31 on: June 22, 2011, 08:31:22 PM »
Quote from: Thor on June 22, 2011, 08:29:03 PM
Not much into country music. Some, but not much. There' a few country cross-overs I like such as Kid Rock, Uncle Kracker, & Taylor Swift. I DO like Toby Keith.

 :hyper:
Every tome I hear Taylor I want to kill puppies.
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Offline IassaFTots

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Re: Hello
« Reply #32 on: June 22, 2011, 08:52:03 PM »
Quote from: Hawk on June 22, 2011, 08:31:22 PM
:hyper:
Every tome I hear Taylor I want to kill puppies.

Hey man, I like puppies.  A lot.  But that was funny right there. 

Welcome!
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Offline Hawk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #33 on: June 23, 2011, 12:39:31 AM »
Quote from: IassaFTots on June 22, 2011, 08:52:03 PM
Hey man, I like puppies.  A lot.  But that was funny right there. 

Welcome!

Thanks!
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Offline Hawk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #34 on: June 24, 2011, 12:21:19 PM »
Great show last night. My wife is recovering from 2 back surgeries in the last month and I just had my gall bladder removed last week, so we can't party like we used to. Although mixing muscle relaxers and hydrocodone with copious amounts of alcohol is a good start!  :hyper:

Eric Church really got the joint rocking. I think the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band is one of the acts tonight. That we are looking forward to!
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Offline Hawk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #35 on: June 26, 2011, 10:29:25 PM »
I AM PRETTY TIPSY, SO ALL I WILL SAY IS THAT THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A BETTER LIVE BAND THAN SAWYER BROWN, EVER.
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Offline Firechild

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Re: Hello
« Reply #36 on: June 26, 2011, 10:32:58 PM »
hola! (:
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 I always chuckled and felt uncomfortable when I heard people say Liberalism is a mental disorder, but if it walks like a duck talks like a duck and acts like moron it is a moron.

Offline Hawk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #37 on: June 26, 2011, 10:33:45 PM »
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Offline Hawk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #38 on: June 27, 2011, 03:43:19 PM »
Just got back from the doctor. Full rectal prolapse is official, surgery pending.  :argh:

On a little funnier note, she also said my asshole needs tightening up because of it.  :hyper:
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Hello
« Reply #39 on: June 27, 2011, 03:46:18 PM »
:thatsright: What you been doing to it?

Maybe I don't want to know.
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Hello
« Reply #40 on: June 27, 2011, 03:48:55 PM »
Quote from: Hawk on June 27, 2011, 03:43:19 PM
Just got back from the doctor. Full rectal prolapse is official, surgery pending.  :argh:

On a little funnier note, she also said my asshole needs tightening up because of it.  :hyper:

Damn, dude, that's serious.

And whatever you do, DON'T google "rectal prolapse" and look at the Wiki article. You'll need serious mind bleach after that.....
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Offline Hawk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #41 on: June 27, 2011, 03:49:19 PM »
Quote from: chris_ on June 27, 2011, 03:46:18 PM
:thatsright: What you been doing to it?

Maybe I don't want to know.

LMAO! I have Interstitial Cystitis and have to push very hard to urinate. One day I will tell you about the treatment for that little jewel.
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Offline Hawk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #42 on: June 27, 2011, 03:50:37 PM »
Quote from: Eupher on June 27, 2011, 03:48:55 PM
Damn, dude, that's serious.

And whatever you do, DON'T google "rectal prolapse" and look at the Wiki article. You'll need serious mind bleach after that.....

I wish you had told me that a week ago. Pushing 3 inches of intestines back inside after going to the bathroom is AWKWARD!!!
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Hello
« Reply #43 on: June 27, 2011, 03:51:04 PM »
Quote from: Hawk on June 27, 2011, 03:49:19 PM
LMAO! I have Interstitial Cystitis and have to push very hard to urinate. One day I will tell you about the treatment for that little jewel.

Oh, I'd say we're a good 403-404 or so years away from that story.

I'll letcha know when it's time, m-kay?

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Adams E2 Euphonium, built in 2017
Boosey & Co. Imperial Euphonium, built in 1941
Edwards B454 bass trombone, built 2012
Bach Stradivarius 42OG tenor trombone, built 1992
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Offline Hawk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #44 on: June 27, 2011, 03:51:59 PM »
Quote from: Eupher on June 27, 2011, 03:51:04 PM
Oh, I'd say we're a good 403-404 or so years away from that story.

I'll letcha know when it's time, m-kay?


Cowards!!!  :-)
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Hello
« Reply #45 on: June 27, 2011, 03:52:13 PM »
Quote from: Hawk on June 27, 2011, 03:50:37 PM
I wish you had told me that a week ago. Pushing 3 inches of intestines back inside after going to the bathroom is AWKWARD!!!

Not to say messy, I'm sure.

I hope you washed your hands afterwards.....
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Mouthpiece data provided on request.

Offline Hawk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #46 on: June 27, 2011, 03:58:21 PM »
Quote from: Eupher on June 27, 2011, 03:52:13 PM
Not to say messy, I'm sure.

I hope you washed your hands afterwards.....
do wut? wash wut?  :???:
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Offline Bodadh

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Re: Hello
« Reply #47 on: June 27, 2011, 03:58:47 PM »
Quote from: Hawk on June 27, 2011, 03:50:37 PM
I wish you had told me that a week ago. Pushing 3 inches of intestines back inside after going to the bathroom is AWKWARD!!!


ARRRRGH!  :o

I think the neighbors heard me scream. :(
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A fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi

Offline Chris_

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Re: Hello
« Reply #48 on: June 27, 2011, 03:59:08 PM »
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Offline Hawk

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Re: Hello
« Reply #49 on: June 27, 2011, 05:44:39 PM »
I need another bladder treatment. Damn.

For those of you who haven't heard how this is done sit down and let me tell you a story.

First, the medicine smells like canned corn left open in direct sunlight for days. It also makes me smell like that for 3 days afterward.

So they mix the cocktail. Then they shove a tube up my penis and insert a 'deadening' agent. HA. Then they remove that and shove a catheter up my penis all the way to my bladder. For those who have never had this pleasure let me tell you about the prostate gland and it's reaction to something that size going the wrong way on a one way street. It doesn't matter how big or tough you are I promise you will make little girl sounds. And the nurse then says the most intelligent thing you ever heard. "Just relax." WTF? Relax? If I could release my grip on the chair I would probably punch the nurse out. So once it is in, they fill my bladder with medicine.

Then they remove the catheter. At this point you would think the fun was over. OH HO. This party is just starting. See, then they put a metal clamp on the end of my penis and lock it in place. Then they set a timer for 15 minutes. That's right children, 15 minutes. At 5 minutes you start staring at the timer. At 8 minutes you can still almost make the timer out as your eyes film over. At 15 minutes you have to get up and walk, yes walk to the bathroom without allowing any leakage.

Now we are in the bathroom and one simply MUST sit for this. Everything is all stretched out and urine cannot be controlled. Then the smell rises like you just walked up on an open grave 2 weeks old full of bodies. Your eyes begin to water and you gasp for breath. Oh, and you must release the metal clamp yourself, by squeezing it together to unlock it.

Getting old sucks.
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