So I'm standing in line at the grocery store with my cousin and see this liberal standing in line beside me. I know he's a liberal because he's unkempt and has this stained Che t-shirt on. So I figure I'll have a little fun with him. I love to tweak them. And I've been working on my photographic memory skills so I figure this would be a good time to practice them. Then I could come back here and tell you guys a completely implausible bouncy story that I'm sure you all will believe because it involves some basic stereotypes we know are characteristic of ALL lefties.
Naturally I was wearing my "White Warmongers for Sarah Palin" t-shirt. Now I know these idiots think they're so superior that if they hear something that even remotely triggers their "stereotypical, uneducated Republican" sensor their ears perk right up, so I said to my cousin, "I was listening to Rush and he said all those Mexicans coming over our border are taking our jobs and probably sneaking Al Qaeda across the border, too. I know they want to take over. Just look what they've done to California."
So she says, "Really?"
"Yeah, and they don't even bother learning English. They come over and take their snot-nosed brats to OUR emergency rooms, have a bunch of anchor babies so they don't have to leave. The only way we're going to get rid of them is to round them up and put them in camps. Then we can throw the criminal ones in jail and take the rest of them back to Mexico or Chile or wherever the hell they're from. If they're going to come to this country they should at least take responsibility for themselves instead of using our tax dollars for their health care, food and housing.
So my cousin says, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I was at the food pantry the other day and the line of Mexicans in front of me was so long by the time I got up to get my bag of free food all the government cheese was gone. I love that stuff, it's almost as good as Velveeta!"
So I says, "What did you do?"
My cousin goes, "When my turn came I told that lady she should be checking ID's of all the people who don't look like they belong here, especially the ones that don't speak English."
And I said, "Well what do you expect! We have a president who isn't even an American citizen. He's a Muslim."
About this time I can see this lefty practically has steam coming out of his ears and my cousin and I were laughing so hard neither of us could go on. Well, the guy paid for his groceries, gave me a dirty look and stormed out. I thought that would be the end of it. But some people just don't know when they're beings suckered. So next thing I know, he follows me to the gas station. I get out of my truck with my Marine Corps & Palin 2012 bumper stickers. I love my truck...and it's paid for. Anyway, he gets out of his old VW van that's in worse shape than his t-shirt and he starts screaming at me that I'm an uneducated racist. He says, "They're better people than you. At least they're trying to earn their way in this world! If you'd stop listening to Rush and doing what he said you might not be so uneducated."
I started laughing so hard I could barely put the nozzle in my tank! That put him over the edge and he turned three shades of red! I thought he was gonna come at me but just at that moment a policeman came out of the door (this was one of those AM/PM gas stations where you can get coffee and stuff). It kinda looked like he jumped out from behind the potted plant by the door. At first I didn't think it was going have it be one one of those with a store but then I remembered I had to have some place for the cop to jump out of.
The cop asked me if I was having any problem with the dirty Che guy. I just laughed and said, "No, he's one of those lefties who turned his balls in a long time ago. Besides, (and I turned right around and looked at this liberal) I may have only had a semester of Bible classes before I got my English degree, but I do know how to find a man with enough assets so I can stay home and listen to Rush. If you'll excuse me, I need to get home. I'm expecting my pool boys, Jose & Achmed. They're so damn cute. Too bad they're gay!"
That gullible liberal idiot had no idea he was being played.
Cindie
