Thanks, Mods, for killing the other thread. (MrScorpio)

[CC27]

MrScorpio Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Sat Jun-18-11 12:44 AM
Original message
Thanks, Mods, for killing the other thread. Here's the right one:   Updated at 8:53 AM
   
Edited on Sat Jun-18-11 01:02 AM by MrScorpio
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving
you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want
three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market
it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy…

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

Night, y'all

No idea what this moron is trying to prove.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1320223

[Freeper]

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows that the government has graciously allowed you to look after.
Your neighbor has no cows, so the same govt that was kind enough to loan you 2 cows takes one cow and gives it to the neighbor with no cow.
His neighbor has no cow, he has one cow, and you have one cow. Looks like we ran out of cows for the third neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State shoots you, takes the cows, and charges your widow for the bullet and transportation of the cows.

Obamaism:
You used to have 2 cows when Bush was in office.
Now you have one cow because the other cow died from global warming.
The cow that is left is sick and needs surgery, she is given a pain pill then dies.
So now you have no cows, no money to buy any more cows, no milk (which is just as well since all the radiation from Japan).
You look at your neighbors farm, there are no cows, the grass is dead, and there is a foreclosure sign in the front.
You turn on the tee vee and the Democrats are saying cows are flourishing.
Fast forward to November 2012, you vote for Republicans across the board.

 

[franksolich]

Hmmm.

One wonders what the other campfire was about, the one the dorkio primitive asked the moderators to douse.

[RockMan]

No idea what this moron is trying to prove.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=439x1320223

I'm not sure I get what your point is. That seems like satire to me.

[franksolich]

Hmmm.

One wonders what the other campfire was about, the one the dorkio primitive asked the moderators to douse.

Well, it wasn't the campfire where the dorkio primitive admitted he's a sociopath.

That one's still burning.

[Traveshamockery]

I'm not sure I get what your point is. That seems like satire to me.

The DUmmies don't do satire.  They don't do jobs. They don't do common sense.  They do DO whining, crying, sniveling, and complaining about how unfair things are. 

[Revolution]

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

  That was the only funny Mr. Dorkio made in his whole dang OP.