WASHINGTON DC DEMOCRAT HUNTING REGULATIONS AND BAG LIMITS GENERAL
1. Any person with a valid Washington DC hunting license or a Federal Income Tax Return may harvest Democrats.
2. Taking of Democrats with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of Democrats with a vehicle is prohibited. If one is accidentally struck, remove the dead Democrat to side of the road and proceed to the nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest Democrats from limousines, Mercedes Benz's, the Metro, or Porsches.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "pork barrel" or "free social programs" for the purpose of trapping Democrats.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt Democrats within 100 feet of government buildings.
7. It shall be unlawful to use decision memos, draft legislation, conference reports, or RFP's to attract Democrats.
8. It shall be unlawful to hunt Democrats within 200 feet of Senate or House hearing rooms, libraries, whorehouses, massage parlors, special interest group offices, bars, or strip joints.
9. If an Democrat is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it. It will also be a shame.
10. Stuffed or mounted Democrats must have a DC Health Department inspection certificate for rabies and vermin.
11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise him or her self as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female congressional aide, male congressional aide, sheep, legislator, policy maker, bookie, lobbyist, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting Democrats.
