Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, CCers of all ages, it’s my honor and privilege to introduce to you today the spirit guide with humorous side. He’s part pigeon and part Irish Setter. He points out the good and poops on the bad. He’s the one, the only, FLIPPY DOOooo!!!!!
FlippyDoo: Hello again wonderful folks of CC. I know it hasn't been long since my last episode of the FlippyDoo Show. I really owe this fast turnaround to two very special DUers. They have restored my faith in the DU as an entertainment goldmine. I'm actually more excited about this show than the one I did with TiT years ago. I can't promise it will be a good show, but it should be somewhat interesting. As for our guests, one is a fairly new DUer. He blasted onto the scene rather recently but his vast intellect is making quite an impact. He may even challenge for the DOTY. The other has been a DU member for a while now, but this year she's making a dedicated push for the DOTY award. Honestly, I've never seen anyone surge to the head of the pact this early in the year for the DOTY, but if she can keep up this pace she has the award locked. Enough of my rambling. I think it's time to bring on the stars of this episode. Ladies and gentlemen I am proud to bring you our guests today. The amazing Larry L. Burks and the most awesome DUer in recent history, the one and only nadin…
Larry: I had a thought a few months ago.
Flippy: Wow. You see, that's why you're the DU answer man. Most people are constantly having thoughts but not you. You only occasionally have thoughts. Sometimes months apart. I guess it allows your brain to remain fresh. But tell us Larry, you had this thought a few months back. What did you do with the thought between then and now to keep it from getting away?
Larry: You can store gravity.
Flippy: Say what?
Larry: That's right. You can bottle gravity and use it later.
Flippy: So I am supposing here that when you say "gravity" you are referring to your thoughts because they are so heavy? And when you have one you just bottle that sucker up and keep it until you're ready to whip it out? You da man Larry. So what exactly was your idea?
Larry: The sun shines all year. And the wind blows all year.
Flippy: I'll be darned. You're a freaking genius Larry. But I just had a scary thought. The sun puts out radiation. The wind blows radiation around. That's kind of dangerous.
Larry: …if the sun doesn't shine for a few days or the wind doesn't blow for a few days.
Flippy: Wait a minute. You just said that the sun shines all year and that the wind blows all year. I guess you meant except for the days that the sun doesn't shine and the wind doesn't blow. That makes me feel better about the radiation deal. If there are days the sun doesn't shine and the wind doesn't blow it means we're just exposed to a small amount of radiation.
nadin: any exposure, regardless of what the media might tell you, or the industry for that matter is NOT safe.
Flippy: You're joking?
nadin: Do you want the studies to show to you that yes small exposures are not safe either?
Flippy: Damn. What is person suppose to do then?
Larry: Build more Wind Mills than you need.
Flippy: That will help?
nadin: you do not bring this gear out of storage just as a precaution. they expect radiation.
Flippy: So all this talk of wind farms is because of radiation? What does a wind mill do? Blow the radiation away or something?
nadin: Exactly…some of the folks here do not understand this.
Flippy: The whole thing is pretty scary.
nadin: I wish I did not know this crap by the way.
Flippy: Yeah. I wish I didn't. At least the lack of wind mills hasn't caused anyone to die yet.
nadin: the NOBODY has died Talking Point is pining up in the fjords.
Larry: You never run out of water because you never run out of sun light or wind.
Flippy: Okay. I'm confused. Is the water, sun, and wind going to triple team us and kill us all or something?
nadin: For ****'s face!
Flippy: What? I'm sorry that I don't understand!
nadin: some folks are willfully ignorant and prooud of it
Flippy: Hey! That's uncalled for.
nadin: have a good day on the Iggy list
Flippy: I hate to break this to you darling, but I'm a FICTIONAL spirit-guide, you and Larry are FAUX geniuses, and this is a FAUX interview. Your iggy list doesn't have very much power here. I guess that since this is a faux interview you could put me on a faux iggy list.
nadin: you are a good soldier.
Flippy: Thanks. Back to what we were saying. I'm not being willfully ignorant. I just don't know these things that you and Larry are experts on.
nadin: It was my job to dream nightmares at one point.
Flippy: Well, I'm sure you've at least caused some, but where did you gain your knowledge?
nadin: I got my education in a THIRD WORLD COUNTRY.
Flippy: I see.
nadin: understanding how fission works, or genetics, or what is an exothermic (a reaction that generates heat) versus and endothermic (A reaction that draws heat and becomes cold) is not alien to me. It was the things one learned and oh chemical bonds... and what happens when they break... oy... I hated those equations. Oh and for the record I HATED physics... ah a famous mental exercise involving a monkey and a pendulum... still gives me nightmares.
Flippy: If that famous mental exercise gave you nightmares you may have been the one to dream it up. Remember you said your job was to dream nightmares.
nadin: Welcome to the ignore list.
Flippy: nadin, remember our discussion just a few minutes ago about this being a FAUX interview? Damn, for a faux genius I wonder about you sometimes. But go ahead. Sit there and play with your ignore list for a while and I'll talk to Larry. I don't want him to think he's being left out.
Larry: I guess some things never change.
Flippy: So you've felt left out before?
Larry: More times than not.
Flippy: Wow. That's kind of sad. What do you do about it?
Larry: I'm working ways to develop Free Energy technologies. I've found two and I'm working on the third one right now.
Flippy: I had always thought that the laws of physics generally went against the existence of such things as free energy.
Larry: They don't call it the forbidden fruit or forbidden knowledge for nothing.
nadin: I guess I should do a write up on really basic physics, sans the math, on my blog.
Flippy: nadin, you're ignoring me remember? Be the best you can be at ignorance…I mean ignoring me. Sit your ass down and shut up.
Larry: He is trying to keep the truth from coming out.
Flippy: What truth? What I'm I trying to keep from coming out?
Larry: I know that there are real people out there that are working on this technology. I have talked to one.
Flippy: Who is this person?
nadin: The same retired submarine captain I met yesterday.
Flippy: nadin, shut up. Iggy list, remember?
Larry: I have yet to see one of the experts come on the net.
nadin: Watch what they do…
Flippy: nadin, you're pushing my limits. I think…
nadin: Do you? because I do, and the NUCLEAR ENGINEER does as well. Re-read what I said. NUCLEAR ENGINEER.
Flippy: nadin, I'm sure that you AND the NUCLEAR ENGINEER both think. I'm not too sure what you think about, but it doesn't matter. Unless you've forgotten, you are ignoring me, and frankly, you're not being very successful at it. I really want you to succeed at this so please try harder.
Flippy: So Larry what did the "real person" that you talked to say?
Larry: The CIA figured out that fox News was sending Osama ben Laden Secret Hidden Encoded Messages by way of Fox News.
Flippy: Sounds like this "real person" may have taken some stupid pills.
nadin: We are NOT to the point of needing those pills
Flippy: Larry, please excuse me for just a second <bows head> Dear Lord, I realize that you are the real God and I'm just a fictional spirit-guide, but I ask you this day to be with nadin and help her to be as successful at ignoring me as she was in her job of turning dreams into nightmares. Thank you and amen.
nadin: I give up.
Flippy: Whew! Thank the Lord. Sorry to cut you off Larry, but if nadin is quiet it's time to get while the getting is good. To the folks at CC thanks for tuning in today. Sorry to cut it so short, but I figure I need to get before she gives up on giving up.
While the above maybe the actual words of the individuals in question they have been taken out of context for the purpose of parody. For fun. For laughs. At no time have I had an actual interview with the individuals in questions as I am a fictional spirit-guide with the emphasis on fictional. Regardless, my parents told me not to talk to strangers so even if I was a real spirit-guide I would probably have to avoid the individuals in question if I followed my the instructions of my parents. If for some reason you are the subject of this parody and take offense at my attempt to bring humor to a world brought to doom and gloom by democratics I apologize with all my fictional spirit-guide heart and hereby promise to try to avoid parodying you in the future if you promise to stop putting parody worthy posts on the world wide web.
