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Author Topic: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem  (Read 3530 times)

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Offline GOBUCKS

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DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« on: April 10, 2011, 12:28:48 AM »
I ran across this old, old thread with a snappy CalPig poem. It may have been posted before, but I don't remember seeing it. The CalPig seems to be plugged up these days. She hasn't passed a poem in a long time, so we have to go further afield until things "loosen up". This one isn't on the level of her classic "Blink, Blink, Blink", nor even that of her better screwing poems, but it's a fair one. As usual, note that this work of art is copyrighted. You may recite it for the enjoyment of friends and neighbors, but you may not charge admission for the reading without having made prior agreement with the CalPig.
Quote
CaliforniaPeggy  (1000+ posts)        Tue Jun-16-09 12:47 AM
Original message
A new one from me...

Lust is an erect nipple
In your lover’s mouth

You arch your back
While he feeds on you

You nourish him
With your bounteous nipple

You fill him
With joy

As he drinks.

Funny
You are nourished
Too.

© MLC

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=335x1016


Quote
NanceGreggs (1000+ posts)        Tue Jun-16-09 01:42 AM
Response to Original message
1. I have been here ...
 ... this place of which you speak.

It is a wondrous place, and it feeds the soul.
 
If the drunken, foul-mouthed DUmmy NanceGreggs was in "that place", it must have been with someone as desperate as stevenumbers.

Quote
Kind of Blue  (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-16-09 02:43 AM
Response to Original message
3. I think your poem is incredibly hot
because it is incredibly true. Thank you.

 

Quote
NYC_SKP   (1000+ posts)        Tue Jun-16-09 08:38 AM
Response to Original message
5. Good morning, California Peggy!
How do you do it?
More to the point, why? Why, why why?


Quote
CaliforniaPeggy  (1000+ posts)        Tue Jun-16-09 10:59 AM
Response to Reply #5
7. My dear NYC_SKP!
How do I do it?

The words just show up, and demand loudly to be written down...

It's a mystery to me...

Thank you, sweetie...
 
Any time those words show up again, they should be exterminated.

Quote
UndertheOcean  (1000+ posts)      Tue Jun-16-09 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
11. That is a great one CP !!!! +10
 


Quote
CaliforniaPeggy  (1000+ posts)        Tue Jun-16-09 10:24 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. My dear UndertheOcean!
I'm so pleased you enjoyed it!

I'll be reading it tonight at the open mic that I go to every week...

We'll see what they have to say!

Thank you, sweetie...
Unless they're as grotesquely weird as the CalPig, they'll be too embarrassed to say anything.

Or, as CalPig poetry was critiqued by the equally foul DUmmy Tangerine LaBamba, during her ill-fated campaign for Top DUmmy votes:

Quote
Don't get me wrong - her poetry isn't bad.  It's awful.  It's the kind of thing that would blind God if He had to read it.  It's a collection of words that should be machine-gunned down, one by one, preferably out in the desert, with no witnesses, and a nice young girl who could be counted on to claim that she'd been shooting jackrabbits.  It's so bad, mirrors crack if anyone looking into a mirror while thinking of one of CP's poems runs the risk of permanent scarring, even blindness, while thinking of it as he peers into the mirror.

Her poetry needs immolation.  She needs to have all writing implements and keyboards, paper, blank walls, toilet paper, paper towels, margins in newspapers, and even the blank part of framed works of art removed from her home until this idea that she's writing "poetry" passes.  Maybe medication will help.



« Last Edit: April 10, 2011, 12:32:13 AM by GOBUCKS »
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Offline Chris_

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2011, 12:32:39 AM »
That's not even vaguely erotic... it's just gross.

I'm not sure, but I think that's the poem that inspired the Purple Nurple.
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Offline BEG

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2011, 12:50:01 AM »
It's even all the more gross knowing who wrote it. :puke:
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Offline JLO

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2011, 01:43:06 AM »
Quote from: chris_ on April 10, 2011, 12:32:39 AM
That's not even vaguely erotic... it's just gross.

I'm not sure, but I think that's the poem that inspired the Purple Nurple.

OMG, what have you revealed within that thread  :hammer:

"he staggers along
still hung
over from the party

he never saw
the girl next to him

who was
weeping

she stepped
on her own
nipple.

© 2010 M."

I am honestly spurting tears!   :lol: :yahoo:
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Offline Mr Mannn

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2011, 05:50:31 AM »
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXMz0H6LuiM[/youtube]
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Offline miskie

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #5 on: April 10, 2011, 07:17:30 AM »
I'm not sure if I actually parodied that one. Though it is possible I did, and then chose to repress the memory of the original.

The Purple Nurple was inspired by The Purple Flower - similar subject matter is just a coincidence. Well - its parodied now..

Quote from: drip drip drip drip
A new one from me...

Gross is my erect nipple
With one coarse black hair

Or maybe its that
Scorpion bite acting up again

It starts to ooze
My bright red nipple

It runs green
With goo

As it leaks.

Then i
slipped on the slime and
fell.

© 2011 M.
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Offline diesel driver

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2011, 07:23:39 AM »
Quote from: miskie on April 10, 2011, 07:17:30 AM
I'm not sure if I actually parodied that one. Though it is possible I did, and then chose to repress the memory of the original.

The Purple Nurple was inspired by The Purple Flower - similar subject matter is just a coincidence. Well - its parodied now..


^5 on that one.    :rotf:
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Offline Ballygrl

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #7 on: April 10, 2011, 08:42:03 AM »
Oh UGH!
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Offline Traveshamockery

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #8 on: April 10, 2011, 08:54:51 AM »
Does he/she really think that is in the least bit appealing to anyone? 

 :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:
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Offline franksolich

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #9 on: April 10, 2011, 08:57:38 AM »
Quote from: Traveshamockery on April 10, 2011, 08:54:51 AM
Does he/she really think that is in the least bit appealing to anyone? 

 :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:

Here's some poems that might be appealing, though.

"Miskie's Big Book of Poetry," a take-off on the CalPig primitive.

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,46747.0.html

Our colleague just now put up a new one.
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Offline thelaughingman

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #10 on: April 10, 2011, 09:21:28 AM »
So...  what's the best way to clean vomit out of a keyboard?  Anyone know?
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #11 on: April 10, 2011, 09:26:25 AM »
CalPig recitations are best enjoyed when accompanied by junior high boys making fart sounds with their armpits.
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Offline compaqxp

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #12 on: April 10, 2011, 10:35:40 AM »
Quote from: thelaughingman on April 10, 2011, 09:21:28 AM
So...  what's the best way to clean vomit out of a keyboard?  Anyone know?

Dishwasher seams to work well however, I'd just buy a new one unless it's a laptop, in which case let this be a lesson.  :wink:
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Offline thelaughingman

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #13 on: April 10, 2011, 12:47:54 PM »
Quote from: compaqxp on April 10, 2011, 10:35:40 AM
Dishwasher seams to work well however, I'd just buy a new one unless it's a laptop, in which case let this be a lesson.  :wink:

 :cheersmate:
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Offline Tucker

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #14 on: April 10, 2011, 02:40:43 PM »
I hemmed and hawed about opening this topic. Three lines into the poem and I realized I made the wrong choice.
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #15 on: April 10, 2011, 03:53:22 PM »
CalPig's sex poetry, or her sexuality generally, is in the same category as the consenting adult furries or male homosexuals -- whatever floats their boat, but in the name of God just STFU about it.
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Offline Traveshamockery

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #16 on: April 10, 2011, 07:02:45 PM »
Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on April 10, 2011, 03:53:22 PM
CalPig's sex poetry, or her sexuality generally, is in the same category as the consenting adult furries or male homosexuals -- whatever floats their boat, but in the name of God just STFU about it.

 :cheersmate:
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Offline Skul

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #17 on: April 10, 2011, 09:25:29 PM »
Just the title of this post creeps me out.
FRANK....PLEASE...MAKE IT GO AWAYYYYY.


Somebody needs to show that scrunt a rectal reading. :asssmack:

For the lurking DUmmies, think...moon. :moon:

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Offline compaqxp

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #18 on: April 10, 2011, 09:51:01 PM »
"What has been read cannot be unread"
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Offline JLO

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #19 on: April 10, 2011, 11:41:45 PM »
Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on April 10, 2011, 03:53:22 PM
CalPig's sex poetry, or her sexuality generally, is in the same category as the consenting adult furries or male homosexuals -- whatever floats their boat, but in the name of God just STFU about it.

Well said.  I doubt she'll be quiet though. 

   :naughty:
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #20 on: April 11, 2011, 04:12:10 AM »
Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on April 10, 2011, 03:53:22 PM
CalPig's sex poetry, or her sexuality generally, is in the same category as the consenting adult furries or male homosexuals -- whatever floats their boat, but in the name of God just STFU about it.

I'm thinking that her "poetry" has caused more than one borderline guy to go full-on gay and not look back.
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #21 on: April 11, 2011, 06:03:09 AM »
Quote from: BlueStateSaint on April 11, 2011, 04:12:10 AM
I'm thinking that her "poetry" has caused more than one borderline guy to go full-on gay and not look back.

Nope...just takes all the starch out of a straight mans love stick.
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Offline Karin

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #22 on: April 11, 2011, 07:17:29 AM »
Tucker, I hemmed & hawed about it too.  I regret every second.  I'm blushing to the roots.   
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #23 on: April 11, 2011, 10:00:13 AM »
Quote from: Karin on April 11, 2011, 07:17:29 AM
Tucker, I hemmed & hawed about it too.  I regret every second.  I'm blushing to the roots.

I have only one thing to say:
Quote
Ok I want you people to understand something right now
You had fair warning in the title.

(No one can resist a title that includes the word "nipple". If I ever try to sell a manuscript, I'll remember that.)
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Offline Bondai

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Re: DUmmies Discuss A CalPig Nipple Poem
« Reply #24 on: April 11, 2011, 10:10:04 AM »
IT'S A MAN BABY!  :loser: :mental: :bs: :censored:
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