Top 40 Things You Will NEVER Hear A Redneck Say!

[LC EFA]

Top 40 Things You Will NEVER Hear A Redneck Say!


40. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
38. Duct tape won't fix that.
37. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
33. You can't feed that to the dog.
32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
31. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
30. Wrestling's fake.
29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
28. We're vegetarians.
27. Do you think my gut is too big?
26. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
24. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?
23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
21. Spittin is such a nasty habit.
20. I just couldn't find a thing at the WalMart today.
19. Trim the fat off that steak.
18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
17. The tires on that truck are too big.
16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
15. I've got it all on the C: drive.
14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
12. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
9. Checkmate.
8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
5. I don't have a favorite college team.
4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
3. You All.
2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
And, Number ONE is:
1. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving tonight.

[LadyLiberty]

12. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

 

[Chris_]

"You're right, a mullet DOES look stupid."

[Chris_]

3. You All.

   That's true.

[JohnnyReb]

Don't look.......I'm a fix'n to do sumthin stoopid.

[jtyangel]

I admit I am sooo not a redneck that often times these type of lists just go right over my head...lol

[DixieBelle]

LOL! Some of those are more "things a conservative would never say" to be honest. (firearms, greenpeace, etc...)

[Rebel Yell]

LOL! Some of those are more "things a conservative would never say" to be honest. (firearms, greenpeace, etc...)

Coincidence?

[DixieBelle]

LOL! Some of those are more "things a conservative would never say" to be honest. (firearms, greenpeace, etc...)

Coincidence?

Nah.

[Rebel Yell]

LOL! Some of those are more "things a conservative would never say" to be honest. (firearms, greenpeace, etc...)

Coincidence?

Nah.

But I refuse to elaborate.

[jtyangel]

LOL! Some of those are more "things a conservative would never say" to be honest. (firearms, greenpeace, etc...)

Coincidence?

Nah.

But I refuse to elaborate.

And you shouldn't. Don't alienate good northern or 'mutt' conservatives in the interest of southern pride. 

[DixieBelle]

*backing away slowly from the thread.

[Rebel Yell]

*backing away slowly from the thread.

Following you.

[Dixie*Darling]

<---- Redneck chick fixin' ta go weed eat the yard 'for I kin mow it.  Wonder if I kin set the burn pile afire 'for the rain comes?   

Y'all play all purty and such while's I'm gone now, ya hear !?!

[Rebel Yell]

<---- Redneck chick fixin' ta go weed eat the yard 'for I kin mow it.  Wonder if I kin set the burn pile afire 'for the rain comes?   

I'll be spraying roudup around my edges this afternoon, not weedeating this year.

[Dixie*Darling]

<---- Redneck chick fixin' ta go weed eat the yard 'for I kin mow it.  Wonder if I kin set the burn pile afire 'for the rain comes?   

I'll be spraying roudup around my edges this afternoon, not weedeating this year.

Kinda high fa'lutin' ain't ya boy !?!   

Though it is a good idea.  My problem is this will be the 1st time I've mowed this season and well, the grass is taller than my beagle!  I'll have to hit the high spots just so I don't bog the mower down (or run over the dog!)

[Rebel Yell]

<---- Redneck chick fixin' ta go weed eat the yard 'for I kin mow it.  Wonder if I kin set the burn pile afire 'for the rain comes?   

I'll be spraying roudup around my edges this afternoon, not weedeating this year.

Kinda high fa'lutin' ain't ya boy !?!   

Though it is a good idea.  My problem is this will be the 1st time I've mowed this season and well, the grass is taller than my beagle!  I'll have to hit the high spots just so I don't bog the mower down (or run over the dog!)

I cut my grass (I don't mow mine) over the weekend.  I love to cut the grass, but I hate weedeating, and this year I'm not gone do it.

[jtyangel]

*backing away slowly from the thread.

 

[Dixie*Darling]

I cut my grass (I don't mow mine) over the weekend.  I love to cut the grass, but I hate weedeating, and this year I'm not gone do it.

I cut farts baby!  I mow grass!   

[Dixie*Darling]

BTW: y'all git off a my 'puter!  I got stuff ta do!   

[Chris_]

<---- Redneck chick fixin' ta go weed eat the yard 'for I kin mow it.  Wonder if I kin set the burn pile afire 'for the rain comes?   

I'll be spraying roudup around my edges this afternoon, not weedeating this year.

Cityslickers use Roundup.  Rednecks use diesel.   

[Rebel Yell]

<---- Redneck chick fixin' ta go weed eat the yard 'for I kin mow it.  Wonder if I kin set the burn pile afire 'for the rain comes?   

I'll be spraying roudup around my edges this afternoon, not weedeating this year.

Cityslickers use Roundup.  Rednecks use diesel.   

Nowadays, roundup's cheaper.

[Chris_]

<---- Redneck chick fixin' ta go weed eat the yard 'for I kin mow it.  Wonder if I kin set the burn pile afire 'for the rain comes?   

I'll be spraying roudup around my edges this afternoon, not weedeating this year.

Cityslickers use Roundup.  Rednecks use diesel.   

Nowadays, roundup's cheaper.

Who says rednecks pay for diesel?

[Airwolf]

<---- Redneck chick fixin' ta go weed eat the yard 'for I kin mow it.  Wonder if I kin set the burn pile afire 'for the rain comes?   

I'll be spraying roudup around my edges this afternoon, not weedeating this year.

Cityslickers use Roundup.  Rednecks use diesel.   

A real redneck would mix detergent and gasoline to kill weeds. Its cheaper and it sticks to the weeds much better. 

Another thing you wouldn't hear is this.

"Do these jeans make my ass look fat?"

[Rebel Yell]

<---- Redneck chick fixin' ta go weed eat the yard 'for I kin mow it.  Wonder if I kin set the burn pile afire 'for the rain comes?   

I'll be spraying roudup around my edges this afternoon, not weedeating this year.

Cityslickers use Roundup.  Rednecks use diesel.   

The best one would be.....

I'm voting for Obama.

A real redneck would mix detergent and gasoline to kill weeds. Its cheaper and it sticks to the weeds much better. 

Another thing you wouldn't hear is this.

"Do these jeans make my ass look fat?"