http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3130441Oh my.
The orchidectomized sparkling husband primitive, who's slated to be my first Freudian case study:
Husb2Sparkly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-09-08 10:07 AM
Original message
Sign of the Times: The Chum Slick is Getting Bigger
They're like sharks when they smell blood.
I have been assaulted (so to speak) by unsolicited phone calls from companies interested in "investing" in my business. I usually got one of these calls every six months or so. Now it is several a week.
I don't even give these bloodsuckers a chance to do their riff before dispatching them to the "I Got Ridiculed and Then Hung Up On By A Mean Clown Club. From a few years ago, there are stockbrokers from every firm on earth in that club. Also lots of copier and paper and light bulb sales pros.
But now it is 'investors'.
A few minutes ago:
Brrrring ...... Brrrrring .......
"Clown Enterprises, Stinky The Clown ......"
"Hello? Hello?"
":Breathing:"
Finally ..... "May I speak with Stinky the Clown?"
Having already identified myself as such, I figured I'd have some fun. "Who are you?"
"I'm with HMI Financial"
"You're 'with' them? Are they sitting or standing?"
"Uh ......"
Realizing the caller was not the brightest bulb on the string, "Whuddaya want with Stinky?"
Back on his script and clearly relieved, "I need to speak with him regarding a financial matter" (as if mere phone answers would be so in awe they'd transfer the call right over to Stinky, lickitty split.
"Oh yeah? Does he owe you money?"
"No"
"You owe him money?"
"No."
"Then whuddaya wanna speak to him about?"
"About investing in his business."
"Investing in hahahaha his hahahahaha _b_u_s_i_n_e_s_s_ hahahahahahahaha? You wanna invest in his business hahahahahahahaahah."
:click:
If it wasn't for the ability to have fun with these callers, I'd be really pissed. Just another way those 'with' are working their asses off to take advantage of those 'without'.
"Invest in my business"? **** you, you parasite.
I think, actually, the orchidectomized sparkling husband primitive's been bothered by bill-collectors.
endarkenment (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-09-08 10:14 AM
Response to Original message
1. John McCain called his wife a "huge chum slick" in public.
msongs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-09-08 10:20 AM
Response to Original message
2. tell em you charge $1000/minute to talk on the phone - better yet, tell em about jesus
Warpy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-09-08 10:48 AM
Response to Original message
3. I've got a better one, one I only do on persistent assholes
I listen to the opening part of the fast talk and interrupt with, "I really can't decide these things. Let me get my husband."
"George?"
"George?"
"GEORGE!! OH MY GAWD!!! HE'S DEAD!!!!!!!!"
They're always gone when I get back and they don't call again.
You have to understand I grew up with a mother who kept a cap pistol next to the phone to punctuate what she said she'd do to telephone assholes.
Husb2Sparkly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Wed Apr-09-08 11:10 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. Hahahahahahahahahaha
Okay, that tops 'em all!
One suspects the orchidectomized sparkling husband primitive's not laughing on his way to the bank, though.
tavalon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Sat Apr-12-08 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
5. Hilarious, true
But, you're ragging on a person who took this job out of desperation and probably has never had a bit of contact with anyone in the company who actually deserves this treatment, so, while it makes your day better, it made his worse.
