Dear Glenn Beck,
You have a hangnail. I'm offended and will be posting this at an obscure liberal website that attracts only the finest stupid, deranged idiots on the Internets. I noticed said hangnail when you put your hand over your heart in a fake attempt at patriotism while Christina Aguilera was delighting the crowd with an updated version of the National (warmongering) Anthem. It was unsightly and mean-spirited to those of us trying to give the appearance of proper nail care. While you mention the "support the troops" meme very seldom it's one of those things that will always get a rise out of my fellow moonba...idio...uh...patriots at the DUmp. I will instantly be praised for my insight and speaking "truth to power" even though no person in power will ever hear my insane rantings. However, I haven't had a bouncy in quite some time. I'd appreciate it if you could find a cop to jump out of the bushes and a right wing loon to stand next to me at the grocery store or sit at a table near me at McDonald's (where I will only be eating a salad) the next time you try to offend us with your lack of proper nail care so that I can show my fellow DUmmies how enlightened I am and how I constantly sacrifice to show those on the right the error of their ways. Also, I'd appreciate the name of the right wing, greedy corporate assholes who manufacture your nail care products. There are about 5 of us who would like to pretend we've initiated a nationwide boycott.
I'd say "sincerely yours" but I'd lose points with those I'm trying rather desperately to impress so I'll just say...signed,
11 Bravo...extreme patriot since Obama was elected and has been working tirelessly to take America down a peg and make us more like the free societies of China, Venezuela, and Cuba.
Cindie