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Author Topic: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?  (Read 2747 times)

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Offline Gina

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Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« on: February 07, 2011, 06:06:55 PM »
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you...

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the ACLU say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?

..........................................
Republican's Answer:

BANG!
......................................

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist'

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"An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer." Phillip of Macedonia, father to Alexander.

Offline Strider

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2011, 06:40:05 PM »
Quote from: GinaBug on February 07, 2011, 06:06:55 PM
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

......................................

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist'


BRAVO!!!! :cheersmate:

If you aren't already here, would you please move to TEXAS... :-)
We can always use a few more womens like you

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Offline Gina

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2011, 06:46:01 PM »
I have a whole set of the "crazy" side of the family up in Conroe and Splendora.  :mental:
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"An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer." Phillip of Macedonia, father to Alexander.

Offline cavegal

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2011, 06:46:54 PM »

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!'
'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist'
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Offline DixieBelle

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2011, 07:45:49 PM »
Heh. :-) Yep!
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Offline thundley4

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2011, 07:50:24 PM »
I must be a southerner at heart. :)
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Offline compaqxp

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2011, 08:21:26 PM »
Why does it have to be an "Islamic Terrorist"? If it were one of them you'd likely not know until the explosion....

Why can't it be a Christian extremest? A crazy neo-con? A crazy liberal?

Also the question assumes I carry or even own a gun which I don't.


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Offline Gina

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2011, 08:23:01 PM »
Quote from: compaqxp on February 07, 2011, 08:21:26 PM
Why does it have to be an "Islamic Terrorist"? If it were one of them you'd likely not know until the explosion....

Why can't it be a Christian extremest? A crazy neo-con? A crazy liberal?

Also the question assumes I carry or even own a gun which I don't.




I see you have been bitchslapped ALOT. :rotf:  I bet I know why :lmao:
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"An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer." Phillip of Macedonia, father to Alexander.

Offline BattleHymn

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2011, 08:23:24 PM »
Quote from: compaqxp on February 07, 2011, 08:21:26 PM
Why does it have to be an "Islamic Terrorist"? If it were one of them you'd likely not know until the explosion....

Why can't it be a Christian extremest? A crazy neo-con? A crazy liberal?

Also the question assumes I carry or even own a gun which I don't.




Well then, you have nothing to worry about, since you'd simply be a victim.
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Offline compaqxp

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2011, 08:27:16 PM »
Quote from: GinaBug on February 07, 2011, 08:23:01 PM
I see you have been bitchslapped ALOT. :rotf:  I bet I know why :lmao:

Care to tell me? I can't figure it out.

Quote from: BattleHymn on February 07, 2011, 08:23:24 PM
Well then, you have nothing to worry about, since you'd simply be a victim.

The obvious answers to the question is we should create knife laws so the event could have never happened. Good laws save lives.  ::)
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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2011, 08:29:09 PM »
Quote from: compaqxp on February 07, 2011, 08:27:16 PM
Care to tell me? I can't figure it out.

The obvious answers to the question is we should create knife laws so the event could have never happened. Good laws save lives.  ::)


That's worked out well for England, hasn't it?
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Offline compaqxp

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2011, 08:32:14 PM »
Quote from: BattleHymn on February 07, 2011, 08:29:09 PM
That's worked out well for England, hasn't it?

They failed to do it right. I'm sure America could do better.

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Offline BattleHymn

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2011, 08:34:02 PM »
Quote from: compaqxp on February 07, 2011, 08:32:14 PM
They failed to do it right. I'm sure America could do better.



Failed to do what right?
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Offline Strider

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2011, 09:06:08 PM »
Quote from: compaqxp on February 07, 2011, 08:32:14 PM
They failed to do it right. I'm sure America could do better.



What you Really meant to say was you and the LIBERALS could do it better...yeah heard that before.

I am sure the criminals will applaud your efforts....makes it less dangerous for them to rob and kill you.
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Offline Strider

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2011, 09:10:41 PM »
Quote from: GinaBug on February 07, 2011, 06:46:01 PM
I have a whole set of the "crazy" side of the family up in Conroe and Splendora.  :mental:

Well krazy is a relevent term ya know... :-)
never the less...been to Conroe...nice little town...
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Offline Karin

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #15 on: February 08, 2011, 09:48:59 AM »
Quote
Why can't it be a Christian extremest? A crazy neo-con?

Oh brother.   :whatever:
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Offline Wineslob

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #16 on: February 08, 2011, 10:02:17 AM »
Quote from: compaqxp on February 07, 2011, 08:27:16 PM
Care to tell me? I can't figure it out.

The obvious answers to the question is we should create knife laws so the event could have never happened. Good laws save lives.  ::)



BS'd for being a DUmbass.
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Offline dandi

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #17 on: February 08, 2011, 12:41:21 PM »
Quote from: compaqxp on February 07, 2011, 08:21:26 PM
Why does it have to be an "Islamic Terrorist"? If it were one of them you'd likely not know until the explosion....

Why can't it be a Christian extremest? A crazy neo-con? A crazy liberal?

Also the question assumes I carry or even own a gun which I don't.

You just can't make this shit up!

 :rotf:
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Offline Lacarnut

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #18 on: February 08, 2011, 01:08:22 PM »
Quote from: wasp69 on February 08, 2011, 12:41:21 PM
You just can't make this shit up!

 :rotf:

He is low a quart or two...that's for sure.
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Offline DefiantSix

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Re: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
« Reply #19 on: February 08, 2011, 03:22:36 PM »
Quote from: compaqxp on February 07, 2011, 08:21:26 PM
Why does it have to be an "Islamic Terrorist"? If it were one of them you'd likely not know until the explosion....

Why can't it be a Christian extremest? A crazy neo-con? A crazy liberal?

Also the question assumes I carry or even own a gun which I don't.




If you can identify a "Christian extremist" or a "crazy neo-con", by all means, make the argument.  Myself though, I haven't seen a whole lot of those around threatening people lately.  (Here's a clue for ya: even the Irish Catholic vs. Protestant wasn't truly about religion.  The IRA were first, last and foremost MARXISTs.)

Also, "crazy liberal" and "Muslim extremist" are just two sides of the same all-powerful government coin.

= Liberal; to


= Islamofascist

Islamofascists are what liberal progressives want to be when they grow up when their testicles drop.
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