Trig Palin Picks Nose: Legislation ProposeddandiNewsAssoc.
By Joseph Stalling
Jan. 12, 2011
All Rights Reserved
Scores of Progressive bloggers decended on the sleepy town of Wasilla, Alaska today in response to a controversial photo making its rounds on the internet of two-year-old Trig Palin engaged in what has been described as a "blatant and provocative probing of his right nasal passage". This writer caught up with some of these investigative journalists at a local coffee house and head shop to gauge reaction to this latest affront.
"Family values, my ass," intoned Moon Stoner of www.****everyone.com. "After telling everyone else how to raise their children, Palin can't even stop her own from mining dried mucus in public? What a whore!" Bertha Dykes, administrator of
www.womynsrightsandlefts.com, offered, "Sarah Palin should be staying at home and taking care of her family, raising her kids. That's her main responsibility. She has no business out traveling...speaking...making her views known...but that's how these Palins are, and now you see the consequences."
The main point of contention seemed to be though, that he not only picked it, he flicked it. "This is the kind of g** d*** f****** s*** that says, 'Aggression and violence against others is good'" declared Willy Stryker, columnist for
www.reasoneddiscourse.com. "By allowing Fig or Trog or whatever the f****** crotch-dropping's name is to fire semi-hardened nose debris at random, the b**** is symbolically encouraging aggression and assault on the part of her f******-up minions against peaceful and reasonable liberals like myself, and anyone who doesn't like that can suck my c****. Not that there's anything wrong with that s***, I'm just turning the tables on the homophobes. Or something."
Pressed as to why a toddler should be attacked so viciously, given a child's natural lack of guile, Neal and Bob Alott of
www.democratsundertheground.com opined, "Hey, Caribou Barbie put him in the spotlight. We hold no responsibility whatsoever for our actions beyond that. She made him fair game, using him as a prop, carrying him around with her instead of keeping him at home locked in a closet, like all those funny-looking kids like him ought to be. She has no one to blame but herself. We would have had him aborted, but she obviously didn't care about his well-being. Giving him birth. Knowing he would be exposed to people like us. It's the ultimate in insensitivity."
Nor were the modern-day Edward R. Murrows of the Left the only ones affected. U.S. Rep. Usa Crysis (D-Mass) introduced new legislation into commitee. Labeled the Pick Acts, Crysis described the new laws as, "an effort to curtail this dogwhistle behavior of Republican crumbsnatchers against the pure and innocent liberals of this great nation."
"Today it is boogers. Tomorrow it may be bricks, bullets and bombs. Some people may call it an overreaction, but it's snot."
