Puns for educated minds
Today at 4:28am Quote
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
Cumference. Heacquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but
it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class,
because it wasa weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be
stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited
for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One
hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it
hit me.
13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep
off the Grass.'
14. A backward poet writes inverse.
15. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism
it's your count that votes.
16. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in
Seine.
17. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead
raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry,
sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
18. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the
other and says 'Dam!'
19. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit
a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once
again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
20. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my
electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies,
'Yes, I'm positive.'
21. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain
during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
22. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with
the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
laugh. No pun in ten did.
