MEMO
December 28, 2010
To: Skins, CEO, Skins's island
From: franksolich, your fellow alum
Re: the cross-eyed Iowa primitive
Only the other day, the cross-eyed Iowa primitive, the Hawkeye-X primitive, surreptitiously swam ashore Pitcairn Island, where he immediately began bashing your person and your real-estate, and threatened to withhold his generous financial support.
Those on Pitcairn Island welcomed him with open arms, which left me agape; it was as if the Country Club was greeting a denizen of Tobacco Road. Just as with Skins's island, his inclusion among them can do them no possible good.
Per your policy of banning from Skins's island all those going over to Pitcairn Island, this is a matter needed brought to your specific attention.
With all my good wishes to you and yours for the coming new year, I am, sir,
your humble and eternal friend, franksolich.