And then the fight started

[BlueStateSaint]

  h5

Yeah, they won't let me donate blood because of the potential of me having mad cow disease (spent too many years in Europe). Well, I did get married twice....and the third time, no way in hell am I going anywhere near that term with her. 

Yeah, the time limit is six months, last I checked.

It would explain a lot about me.

[ColonelCarrots]

I told her I wanted to put it in her butt

And then the fight started...

[Eupher]

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, ‘you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’

And then the fight started…

[catsmtrods]

The new neighbors across the street drew my wife's interest and she said, “Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?” “I would love to.” I replied. “But I don’t know her well enough.”.....

.....and then the fight started.