poll: who's more amusing?

[franksolich]

Geezuz.

For those who don't know, the elmers are former primitives; they used to be primitives, but were kicked off Skins's island for various reasons, the major one being they dared question the 0bamaNazis there.

The elmers have a grudge against my fellow alum Skins, but it's most curious, the way the elmers are directing their anger and hostility; towards a message-board that is NOT Skins's island.

I dunno what good that does them.

conservativecave, and the DUmpster specifically, are in a situation analogous to if, during the second world war, the United States (the DUmpster) was compelled to fight both the Japanese (the primitives) and.....Pitcairn Island.

Why the Hell would the United States have to be at war with Pitcairn Island, of all people?

I mean, come on.

One assumes the elmers think their war against Skins's island isn't working, and they've got all this intense passion and rage that they have to expend somewhere, on something, anything.

The ****ing idiots don't see that their war against Skins's island IS working, and that if they simply keep up the pressure, Pitcairn Island can conquer Japan.  It is indisputably, undeniably, working.  It's working very well.

But of course vision, the ability to see things, is not an attribute common among Democrats, liberals, primitives, and elmers.

They're very tiresome, the elmers.  And also too "high-maintenance" for franksolich to handle.

As of about six hours ago, franksolich has no longer opened and read any messages from any source pertaining to the elmers.  If one wants to talk about the elmers, don't bother trying talking about them to franksolich.

There are advantages to deafness.

I'm thinking about proposing a change in the rules here, but of course as only a moderator, and an obscure one at that, I can only propose, while the majority of moderators and the administrators and owners can approve.

But before I do that, I need to know something.

The purpose of the DUmpster is to entertain, amuse, and tenderly caress.

So.....who's more amusing?

[whiffleball]

Primitives hands down.  There's really no competition.

[Carl]

Both are equally amusing and we should do everything we can to push them towards a cliff from which they can leap.

Primitives on the island are slathering beasts that simply row the oars,Elmers are the two faced task masters that promise goodies but in the end will hide behind the idiots to save their own hides.

Both deserve disdain,ridicule and mockery however the DUmpster should be be maintained for the primitives and perhaps a seperate place unseen by regular eyes should be cordoned off for the Elmers as that is what they seem to find fitting at their own patch of lunacy.

Just a thought.

[Freeper]

I voted equally amusing. A lot of times though the elmers are those who are so insane that eve the DUmp couldn't stand them. 

[Tucker]

I voted "not sure."

They were amusing at one time but now they're more disgusting. I think that once they realized thet there were no free ponies from obama, the attitude turned to sour and bitterness.

[franksolich]

I voted equally amusing. A lot of times though the elmers are those who are so insane that even the DUmp couldn't stand them.

Actually, the elmers did something that P-J Comix's most-excellent DUmmie FUnnies, our old home, and the DUmpster have never managed to do, even after years and years of vigorous trying.  Years and years, to no avail.

The elmers caused my fellow alum Skins to lose it, and in a big way.

The day Skins banned the Leona Helmsley of DUmmieland, the "flyarm" primitive, was perhaps the biggest explosion inside the corporate offices of Skins's island ever, its 10-year history.

I have that from four (please notice the word "four") long-time (please notice the term "long-time") reliable (please notice the word "reliable") sources.

My fellow alum nuclearly exploded.

Damn, no matter how hard we try, we can't provoke that.

Try as long and hard as we can, we can't, and the elmers succeeded.

I dunno what was said, and how the message, or edict, was handed down, but it's easy to reasonably imagine what happened.

Take my avatar, which of course is Skins.  Put a little toothbrush mustache on his upper lip, redden his skin a little bit, and fire up his eyes.

Then put my fellow alum behind his 8x8 solid mahogany-and-oak executive desk, with Lord Marblehead EarlG and the elusive enigmatic Elad cowering in sweaty fear and supplicating terror at the doorway to the office.

Skins, frothing and spitting, his hair flip-flopping in the air, his face getting redder, banging his fists on the desk, "BAN THEM!  BAN THEM ALL!  GET RID OF THEM!  SHIP THEM EAST!  SHOOT THEM!  KILL THEM!  HANG THEM!  GAS THEM!  BAN THEM!  BAN THEM ALL!"

That's only my imagination, but I'll bet it's a reasonably close depiction of what actually happened.

Damn.  I wish we could do that, but my fellow alum doesn't pay any attention to us.

[Evil_Conservative]

I'm only familiar with the primitives at DU.  Never heard of the Elmers until the thing with AllentownJake exploded.  They (the Elmers) really don't seem that entertaining from what I have read recently.

DU wins.

[franksolich]

Both are equally amusing.....

Well, of course I have variations of the new rule I'll propose after the poll is completed.

They range from "do nothing, leave all as it is" to "imitate my fellow alum Skins and make the elmers the 'site that shall not be named.'"

And anything in between those two, which is a pretty wide range of options; it'll depend upon how the poll ends.

[chitownchica]

The DUmmies win hands down in my book. I agree with Frank - the elmers need to keep up the mockery of the DUmp. It's driving Skinner crazy and I get a real kick out of it. 

[franksolich]

I agree with Frank - the elmers need to keep up the mockery of the DUmp. It's driving Skinner crazy and I get a real kick out of it.

I got this in my regular e-mail (i.e., not the Clare Boothe Luce one) early this afternoon, from one of my impeccable (going on four+ years now) sources in the bowels of Skins's island:

o man, that was gd but why don't u tell it like it was told u?

I'm assuming when they type like that--the source isn't really illiterate--they're doing it from a cellular telephone, but I don't know for sure.

He was referring to my depiction of the day my fellow alum Skins banned Leona of DUmmieland.

So I went back to his original e-mail, which was this:

David had a big fit last week when he lost one of DU's biggest donors.

He was more upset than he's ever been.

OET is really eating away at his fund raising.

Well, Hell.

While those are facts, those are pretty barebone facts; one can't even hang a coat on that skeleton.

And so like a newspaper reporter, one has to fill in the blanks, to add some meat to the story.

Which I told above.

One draws reasonable conclusions from those barebone facts; "last week" was when Skins banned a bunch of primitives.  When one looks at the list of the primitives who were banned, Leona's the only one with the resources to have been a "big donor."

So franksolich is compelled to stand by the story the way franksolich told it.

By the way, something to look for, the next time my fellow alum, who's hurting, launches a new fund-drive.

For nearly ten years now, Skins has always quipped about "oh, a dollar, five dollars, every bit helps."

Begging pennies from paupers, but one can actually do pretty well doing that.

But one suspects in the next fund-drive, there's going to be a comment about "suggested minimum donation: $10."

Of course, it would be only a suggestion, but given the cerebral unsophistication of the primitives, I'l bet most primitives will think they have to donate at least ten bucks, and pony up.

[Tucker]

From my point of view, the donation amount is irrelevant as I con someone else (benevolent DUmmy) to donate in my name.

It helps keep the island supplied with fresh coconuts. Heavy on the nuts.

[franksolich]

Heavy on the nuts.

Now this, from the same source inside the bowels of Skins's island.

He must be back home, at the computer now.

I've always wondered how one sends an e-mail via a telephone; it's probably just as much a mystery to me as a mcguffin is to a Norwegian.  But I don't think I need to waste brain-cells learning how to send e-mails on a telephone any more than a Norwegian needs to worry about dealing with a mcguffin.

Anyway.

Thanx for telling it the way it was told you.

[*****] is about to get the pizza.

*name of primitive deleted by franksolich.

Anyway, I'm a little irritated, the way he didn't like the way I told it.

With all due respect to you, sir, I need words.

Lots and lots of words.

You never send me even half a paragraph.

Normally, one's supposed to be walking on eggshells, being super nice and kind to sources, caressing their egos, soothing their feelings, being servile and humbly grateful to them, but this guy's an exception, he's used to franksolich, and we even met one time in real life.

[USA4ME]

Not interesting at all.  These shoot off sites of Skin's island are a dime a dozen and have been since the first run to P4C back in 2004.

Like others before them, the OETers are the one's who are so stupid even Skin's didn't want anything to do with them.  How worthless do you have to be that even findge liberal kooks don't want you around anymore?  And just like the primitives they no longer live among, they view themselves as highly intelligent and falsely believe their viewpoints, if legislated into actuality, would benefit 99% of all Americans.  But in truth, the individuals to whom they aspire and admire are themselves run by incompetent, selfish, coveting, demented people, something of which the OETers are either unwilling or unable to see.  Calling them "trailer-court trash" is too high of a compliment for any of them.  They are extremist and hate-filled, even more-so than the primitives.

.

[franksolich]

These shoot off sites of Skin's island are a dime a dozen.....

Well, there's a difference here, though.

I don't think any offshoot of Skins's island has come near to inflicting the damage the Pitcairn Islanders have.

"Pitcairn Islanders"--I'm trying out "code" to use in case they become "the site that shall not be named" here; I wish the primitives on Skins's island were bright enough to speak of us in "code," when they want to whine and bitch and moan about us.

Seriously.  They've wrought some real damage, to the treasury and infrastructure of Skins's island.

The Pitcairn Islanders are far from ready to send in the troop carriers and LSTs to land on the beaches of Skins's island, but their naval and air bombardment has definitely wreaked havoc.

I dunno why they don't see this.

I suppose it's a difference in perception.  Someone in the middle of a brawl has a different impression of what's going on, than someone standing at a distance, watching the brawl.

I recall, vaguely, being asked once if my fellow alum Skins could in turn do damage to Pitcairn Island.

Well, there's a problem here.

I'm not sure.

You see, a dictatorial strongman treats his enemies differently, dependent upon whether the enemy has always been his enemy, or the enemy was once an ally of his, associated with him.

And usually he treats the latter more harshly than the former.

However.

My fellow alum Skins and franksolich have many of the same strengths and weaknesses in common; our brains are almost Siamese twins, and as everybody knows, the inside of Skins's head is not alien territory to franksolich.

One thing we share in common is our egos; they're exactly the same shape, size, and weight in both of us.

My fellow alum is a snob, which unfortunately says as much about franksolich.

Intellectually, or rationally, Skins is acutely aware--and pretty sore about it--of the damage the Pitcairn Islanders have inflicted upon Skins's island--and would like to wipe them off the face of the earth.

However, my fellow alum's intellect, like franksolich's, is dominated by the sheer size of his ego.

Skins is a snob, remember, and franksolich is oftentimes the same way.

My fellow alum snobbishly thinks the Pitcairn Islanders are nothing, nobodies, nonentities, inconsequentials.

His ego tells him these "little people," the Pitcairn Islanders, aren't worth the bother of his time and trouble.

As long as Skins keeps thinking that way--and trust me, he will--Pitcairn Island is safe.

[miskie]

The Elmers are primitives with grossly inflated egos and superiority complexes, and all play on the same team -which makes for a dull read. Part of what makes DU a great source of entertainment is the drama - there is no drama among the Elmers, which creates dull, predictable threads. Example thread...

Elmer1 : DU sucks because blah-blah-blah..
Elmer2 : Yup.
Elmer3 : Agreed.
Elmer4 : Indeed.

etc etc..    

[Ptarmigan]

Tough call. Don't know much about Elmers other than they probably are a split from DU. DU on the other hand, I get a good laugh at them.

[USA4ME]

Seriously.  They've wrought some real damage, to the treasury and infrastructure of Skins's island.

As long as Skin's island is serving the purpose of taking the hazardous freaks from the Dem party and isolating them as to not poison the whole well, the money will flow while the minimal funding the primitives continue to provide will go towards Skin's recreational fund; something of which he deserves for having to put up with the worthless scum.  While the OETers have escaped by desire or were exiled by force, the job of pushing them out of the Dem party and away from causing it any harm has been accomplished.  Now, they're left to flounder in no-man's land.  No one with any integrity ever wanted them to begin with, and they will live their lives falsely believing their ideas actually held merit, while those us us living in the real world are spared the misery their foolishness would have created.

.

[franksolich]

As long as Skin's island is serving the purpose of taking the hazardous freaks from the Dem party and isolating them as to not poison the whole well, the money will flow while the minimal funding the primitives continue to provide will go towards Skin's recreational fund; something of which he deserves for having to put up with the worthless scum.

Yes, of course, and one can't figure out why the primitives don't see that.

Skins's island was founded by establishment Democrats, Democrats who care about the future of the Democrat party; they'd lost too many elections because the general public was turned off by the fringe extremists.

Skins's island was created to identify, attract, and segregate the fringe extremists in a place where they wouldn't be seen by the general public, like stuffing an embarrassing relative up in the attic.

Imagine, for example, how appalled the general public would be about Democrats, if Pedro Picasso, Doug's stupid ex-wife, and the sparkling husband primitive were loose, wandering all over the internet, making regular Democrats look bad.

This way, the primitives would be all corralled in, fenced in, kept out of sight.

A really good idea, and it would've worked, excepting that P-J Comix, our old home, and the DUmpster discovered Skins's island.

[diesel driver]

A really good idea, and it would've worked, excepting that P-J Comix, our old home, and the DUmpster discovered Skins's island.

It wasn't hard to find, Frank.

Just follow the smell. 

[Tucker]

Well, there's a difference here, though.

His ego tells him these "little people," the Pitcairn Islanders, aren't worth the bother of his time and trouble.

I'm getting the image of the old cartoon character, Half-pint Pygmy.

[franksolich]

It wasn't hard to find, Frank.

Just follow the smell.

I considered it a kindness of God, or dumb luck, or a happy accident, or a random event, that I discovered Skins's island the very same day it got underway.

On January 20, 2001, I had the television on, with C-Span covering the inaugural parade.

I bothered with having a television at the time, because I was living in Omaha, and people were always dropping by, and I'm aware that other people need diversion and amusement that I don't.

There was no one else there at the time, but I had the television on anyway, because I was concerned about the threats of assassination by the left extremists, of George Bush, and if something happened, I wanted to know about it as soon as possible, rather than waiting to be told about it by someone else.

But even though it was on, I wasn't watching it.  I was at the computer in another room, and caught glimpses of the parade, as I occasionally walked from the computer to the kitchen, to get more coffee.  I caught few-seconds' glances of the screen as I went back-and-forth.

On one trip, when I was returning to the computer with a full bottle of coffee, I as usual gave a cursory glance at the television.....the very same minute the cameras of C-Span focused on my fellow alum Skins and Lord Marblehead EarlG, among the parade audience, holding up a banner, DEMOCRATICUNDERGROUND.COM.

It was there for only a few seconds; if I had been slower about getting more coffee, I would've never seen it.

If only a few seconds earlier or later.....

I took note of the name, and a few days later, began checking it out.

Talk about a kindness of God, or dumb luck, or a happy accident, or a random event.....

[franksolich]

I'm getting the image of the old cartoon character, Half-pint Pygmy.

Actually, I'm "seeing" the Pitcairn Islanders as the real ones actually are, descendants of the mutineers on the HMS Bounty circa 230 years ago, and as usual, the primitives as primitives.

You've known me for a long time, sir, and you're aware of how "primitives" evolved.

We were still at our old home, and one day I was wandering around democraticunderground, and came across a thread in which members of the site were discussing the impeachment of Richard Cheney.  There were lots of them there, but the only one I remember in particular was "Raven," the carpetbagging maternal ancestress of the Bostonian Drunkard.

As I've oftentimes said, people draw "pictures" of themselves, self-portraits, with their words.

I was entranced, utterly hypnotized, by what I saw.

It was as if I had broken through the trees and brush of the jungle, coming upon a clearing in which a bunch of primitives were sitting around a fire, showing off and examining each other's voodoo dolls of Richard Cheney, snorting in approval or disapproval, snickling and snackling, wiggle-waggling their armpits at each other, grunting in appreciation or disapproval, as each voodoo doll was passed around in a circle.

Now, as you're aware, the primitives of the South Seas are actually dark, while 98.7 or 97.8% or whatever it is, of the members of democraticunderground are of European derivation, and so that's the way I "saw" them, lily-white half-naked savages whose only similarity with the real primitives was that they too indulge in significant bodily mutilation and decoration.

The biggest difference between the peoples of the South Seas and the primitives on Skins's island is that the former are actually engaged in a life-and-death struggle in a hostile environment (and so can't be blamed for being the ways they are), while the latter live in America, where they are tenderly caressed, gently treated, and are allowed to flourish and prosper on other people's money.

The biggest similarity between the two is that they both have taboos, rituals, ceremonies, totems, customs, superstitions, and castes, all of which can be quickly identified and categorized by any competent anthropologist.

[true_blood]

I'm only familiar with the primitives at DU.  Never heard of the Elmers until the thing with AllentownJake exploded.  They (the Elmers) really don't seem that entertaining from what I have read recently.
DU wins.

I'm with EC here. I'm not really familiar with the elmers as I am with the primitives.
I'll go with the good ole' primitives.

[BattleHymn]

Primitives on the island are slathering beasts that simply row the oars,Elmers are the two faced task masters that promise goodies but in the end will hide behind the idiots to save their own hides.

You took the words right off of my keyboard, Carl.  My vote goes for both.  

From my viewpoint, the inhabitants of the little island are nothing more than a collection of raving moonbats, throwing coconuts, fistfuls of sand, feces, or whatever else they can wrap their opposable thumbs around, at the howling moonbats on the big island.  I haven't been paying much attention to the admin over at the little island, but on the surface, they seem less raving than the admin over on the big island.  

I have a feeling that most of the little island's deeds are done under the cover of hidden forums, private messages, etc, to make one watch the right hand (open forums) so that one isn't paying attention to the left hand they cannot see (hidden forums, messages, etc).  

The little island is just a different forum, with the same people.  I think things on the little island will get a lot more interesting if the big island ever experiences a major volcanic eruption, and a mass exodus is forced to set sail on bits of wood, rafts, or whatever else they can find, to float to the nearest island.  I believe the little island is the nearest island.      

[franksolich]

I have a feeling that most of the little island's deeds are done under the cover of hidden forums, private messages, etc, to make one watch the right hand (open forums) so that one isn't paying attention to the left hand they cannot see (hidden forums, messages, etc).

Well, there isn't exactly anything wrong with that, web-sites usually being private property, in which the owner can do with it whatever the owner wishes to do with it.  If the Pitcairn Islanders want to have a closed, or secret, forum, that's their right.

We did this with Scamdy nearly six years ago; there was a public web-site, and a private one--the difference being that these were two different sites, not one of them inside the other.  It worked out well, and perhaps the Pitcairn Islanders should've done that. 

But the Pitcairn Islanders, not being up to our sophistication, didn't do that, and I have no doubt if it had been suggested to them, given that the ****ing idiots think delusionally highly of their intellects and delusionally lowly of ours, it would've been dismissed without even being considered.

That was a classic case, a textbook case, of ego running rampant over rationality.

When a closed web-site (with no connection to the DUmpster or our old home or freerepublic) was set up about a year ago to look into the 0bamaite primitives on Skins's island, its participants became aware that the Pitcairn Islanders were also looking into the 0bamaite primitives.

We had a commonality of interest, although for different reasons. 

Decent and civilized people wanted to wrestle with the 0bamaNazis on Skins's island because decent and civilized people think the unwashed brainwashed are a threat to the Republic.  Pitcairn Islanders wanted to wrestle with the 0bamaNazis on Skins's island because Pitcairn Islanders think the unwashed brainwashed are a threat to the long-term survival of the Democrat party (franksolich disagrees, but never mind).

Different purposes, but exactly the same goal.

Okay; we had at the time, and currently still have, a most perplexing situation.

franksolich is no computer gamer or military strategist, but one has to look at it as if playing "war."

You have Skins's island fighting a two-front war to save its 0bamaites, from the real world on one side, and from Pitcairn Island on the other side.

One side has a score, or a couple dozen, nuclear bombs, but nothing else.

The other side has loads and loads of small arms and tactical weaponry, but no nuclear bombs.

So the situation demands that one "coordinate," to use all the weapons in the best possible manner.

The real world isn't going to beat the 0bamaNazis by simply dropping nuclear bombs on them, and Pitcairn Island can't beat the 0bamaNazis with just pistols and rifles.

So I approached their boy over there on Pitcairn Island, feeding him a little sliver of information about a prominent 0bamaGestaspo on Skins's island; things that no one on Pitcairn Island would possibly know.

I told their boy, "We have more.  Lots and lots more, mountains more."

I left unspoken my question: "Do you want to make a deal?"

I left it unspoken because it would've been bad manners to be blatant about it, like walking up to a pretty woman on the sidewalk and immediately saying, "Do you want to hop around in the sack?" with no introductory formalities or somesuch.

Their boy is no dummy; actually he's pretty bright.  But his ego interfered with his intellect.

"Oh, these are just dumb right-wingers who can't possibly know anything about anything."

****ing idiots.

Talk about letting ego dominate reason.