These are some great ideas!
I am going to use the capacitor one on my brother in law this Christmas. However, the wife, knowing her primitive family members better than any of us would dare to want to know, has hatched the best idea so far, and it only came to her tonight.
Around seven or eight months ago, through a mutual friend, we befriended and helped out a guy close to my age that was having a very hard time in life financially. He is one of the nicest people you would ever care to run into on the face of the earth. He has no family or friends (other than our mutual friend) in this area that he would wish to visit (a very long and sad story) for Thanksgiving, so we invited him to come and hang out with my side of the family for our typical all-day Thanksgiving bash.
We had to fit the wife's family in somewhere, and since she is about as enthused as I am about visiting them, we put them in at the beginning of the day to get the whole ordeal over with (as usual). After visiting her family, we were going pick up my friend, and go out to my parents. This is where the wife's plan come in:
Her family, being indistinguishable from the type of proto-human primitives you see parusing the DUmp on a daily basis, are also tolerant-in-spirit only types, which is to say that they are very, very tolerant of all types of shapes, sizes, and colors of their fellow man, so long as they are white caucasian. Most importantly, blacks and hispanics need not apply (in that order).
Now, all the wife suggested was that we call ahead to her parents, and make a
tiny change to the order of things for the day; which is to say, pick up our friend first, instead of going to her family first. Her family has heard about our friend, and knows enough about him to be reasonably comfortable with having him over for dinner. The one
tiny detail we never thought to mention to them before is that my friend is as black as a big old lump of coal.
Being the laid back type that my friend is, he is chomping at the bit to go. He plans on walking right up to the racist-in-charge (the wife's stepfather), and shaking his hand and introducing himself.
What will I do in the meantime? Try not to piss my pants waiting for Thanksgiving to arrive.
I will also take a camera with, to get some Thanksgiving photos, while I consider getting one framed to give to him in full view of the
rest of his racist family during Christmas, and watch him squirm around his family when he sees that my friend is there, smiling, right along side of him.
This year's holidays are going to be great.
