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Offline morningAngel

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I've been fired!
« on: March 31, 2008, 09:43:07 PM »
I had my five year evaluation today, and apparently I am not living up to my contractual agreements in quality of performance.
As evidenced by:
1.  I rip off bandaids.  "Do you rip bandaids off everybody?  That hurts you know!"  "Now my bump hurts worse because you ripped off my bandaids"
2.  I steal.  For example, buying take out chicken and refusing to let starving child in car seat eat in the vehicle on the way home.  "I am staaaaaaaaaaaarving!  You stole my chicken!" 
3.  I stifle creativity, exhibit A:  Refusal to allow said child to play outside in a snow storm wearing orange socks and flip flops, hawaiian print shorts and a sweatshirt.
4.  I am inflexible:  "When I am 18 and you are dead and its my house I will stay home and watch cartoons all day whenever I want"

The list of my shortcomings goes on and on, apparently in the five years I have had this position of Mama I have failed miserably.  I was told this evening that I was no longer needed to be Mama, and that if I wanted I could be Grandma, but that she  was going to be trying to find a new mama.
 :bawl:

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Offline Wretched Excess

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #1 on: March 31, 2008, 09:45:21 PM »

I got a 4.6 out of 5.
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Offline DixieBelle

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2008, 09:48:07 PM »
Don't worry, you'll be reinstated the moment she gets a boo-boo or scared of the dark. :-)

Or, do what my mom did when I told her I was going to get a new mama. She told me "that's okay, we were only going to keep YOU for 7 years."
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I can see November 2 from my house!!!

Spread my work ethic, not my wealth.

Forget change, bring back common sense.
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No, my friends, there’s only one really progressive idea. And that is the idea of legally limiting the power of the government. That one genuinely liberal, genuinely progressive idea — the Why in 1776, the How in 1787 — is what needs to be conserved. We need to conserve that fundamentally liberal idea. That is why we are conservatives. --Bill Whittle

Offline morningAngel

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #3 on: March 31, 2008, 09:49:57 PM »
Quote from: DixieBelle on March 31, 2008, 09:48:07 PM
Don't worry, you'll be reinstated the moment she gets a boo-boo or scared of the dark. :-)

Or, do what my mom did when I told her I was going to get a new mama. She told me "that's okay, we were only going to keep YOU for 7 years."
oh I like that idea!
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Offline Duke Nukum

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #4 on: March 31, 2008, 09:50:10 PM »
Kids and animals are the most demanding bosses which is why W. C. Fields cautioned against working for them.
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Offline Wretched Excess

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #5 on: March 31, 2008, 09:51:14 PM »

I am down to a 5.2 . . .

 :-) :-) :-)
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Offline ReardenSteel

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #6 on: March 31, 2008, 09:54:20 PM »
Made me think of this old toon...

http://calvinethobbes.free.fr/english/c_elections.html

Not to worry. As soon as someone else tries to run for "mom", the child will come back to their sences. (such as they have them.

Best.
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"When you see that trading is done, not by consent, but by compulsion - when you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing - when you see that money is flowing to those who deal, not in goods, but in favors - when you see that men get richer by graft and by pull than by work, and your laws don't protect you against them, but protect them against you - when you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self-sacrifice - you may know that your society is doomed."

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http://www.capmag.com/article.asp?ID=1826

Offline Chris_

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #7 on: March 31, 2008, 09:56:20 PM »
It's a thankless job, I swear.  :lmao:
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Offline Wretched Excess

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #8 on: March 31, 2008, 09:57:59 PM »
Quote from: DixieBelle on March 31, 2008, 09:48:07 PM
Don't worry, you'll be reinstated the moment she gets a boo-boo or scared of the dark. :-)

Or, do what my mom did when I told her I was going to get a new mama. She told me "that's okay, we were only going to keep YOU for 7 years."

Dad told me that the cows weren't real. :-)
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Offline DixieBelle

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #9 on: March 31, 2008, 10:02:17 PM »
Quote from: Schadenfreude on March 31, 2008, 09:56:20 PM
It's a thankless job, I swear.  :lmao:
Pretty much!!

<---------HILARIOUS Avatar you got there shadie!!!
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I can see November 2 from my house!!!

Spread my work ethic, not my wealth.

Forget change, bring back common sense.
-------------------------------------------------

No, my friends, there’s only one really progressive idea. And that is the idea of legally limiting the power of the government. That one genuinely liberal, genuinely progressive idea — the Why in 1776, the How in 1787 — is what needs to be conserved. We need to conserve that fundamentally liberal idea. That is why we are conservatives. --Bill Whittle

Offline Wretched Excess

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #10 on: March 31, 2008, 10:04:07 PM »

I think that she is pretty much unbribable, at this point.

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Offline Chris_

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #11 on: March 31, 2008, 10:21:11 PM »
Quote from: morningAngel on March 31, 2008, 09:43:07 PM
I had my five year evaluation today, and apparently I am not living up to my contractual agreements in quality of performance.
As evidenced by:
1.  I rip off bandaids.  "Do you rip bandaids off everybody?  That hurts you know!"  "Now my bump hurts worse because you ripped off my bandaids"
2.  I steal.  For example, buying take out chicken and refusing to let starving child in car seat eat in the vehicle on the way home.  "I am staaaaaaaaaaaarving!  You stole my chicken!" 
3.  I stifle creativity, exhibit A:  Refusal to allow said child to play outside in a snow storm wearing orange socks and flip flops, hawaiian print shorts and a sweatshirt.
4.  I am inflexible:  "When I am 18 and you are dead and its my house I will stay home and watch cartoons all day whenever I want"

The list of my shortcomings goes on and on, apparently in the five years I have had this position of Mama I have failed miserably.  I was told this evening that I was no longer needed to be Mama, and that if I wanted I could be Grandma, but that she  was going to be trying to find a new mama.
 :bawl:


Easy solution...next time you are asked for something, tell them you've been fired.  They'll have to find someone else to do ...whatever...  You no longer work there.     :-)
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Offline morningAngel

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #12 on: March 31, 2008, 10:26:54 PM »
i am actually enjoying my forced retirement from mamahood
it will give me some time to look at options, polish the old resume, spend some time working on me...take a little breather...
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Offline Chris_

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #13 on: March 31, 2008, 10:36:24 PM »
Quote from: DixieBelle on March 31, 2008, 10:02:17 PM
Quote from: Schadenfreude on March 31, 2008, 09:56:20 PM
It's a thankless job, I swear.  :lmao:
Pretty much!!

<---------HILARIOUS Avatar you got there shadie!!!

Thanks.... can you believe the hate that I am feeling from this crowd?  :p
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If you want to worship an orange pile of garbage with a reckless disregard for everything, get on down to Arbys & try our loaded curly fries.

Offline DixieBelle

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #14 on: March 31, 2008, 10:46:48 PM »
Yep! :-)
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I can see November 2 from my house!!!

Spread my work ethic, not my wealth.

Forget change, bring back common sense.
-------------------------------------------------

No, my friends, there’s only one really progressive idea. And that is the idea of legally limiting the power of the government. That one genuinely liberal, genuinely progressive idea — the Why in 1776, the How in 1787 — is what needs to be conserved. We need to conserve that fundamentally liberal idea. That is why we are conservatives. --Bill Whittle

Offline asdf2231

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #15 on: March 31, 2008, 10:59:45 PM »
Quote from: Wretched Excess on March 31, 2008, 09:57:59 PM
Quote from: DixieBelle on March 31, 2008, 09:48:07 PM
Don't worry, you'll be reinstated the moment she gets a boo-boo or scared of the dark. :-)

Or, do what my mom did when I told her I was going to get a new mama. She told me "that's okay, we were only going to keep YOU for 7 years."

Dad told me that the cows weren't real. :-)



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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for awhile.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life...

Offline Wretched Excess

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #16 on: March 31, 2008, 11:02:55 PM »
Quote from: asdf2231 on March 31, 2008, 10:59:45 PM
Quote from: Wretched Excess on March 31, 2008, 09:57:59 PM
Quote from: DixieBelle on March 31, 2008, 09:48:07 PM
Don't worry, you'll be reinstated the moment she gets a boo-boo or scared of the dark. :-)

Or, do what my mom did when I told her I was going to get a new mama. She told me "that's okay, we were only going to keep YOU for 7 years."

Dad told me that the cows weren't real. :-)





the cows are real.

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Offline asdf2231

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #17 on: March 31, 2008, 11:13:40 PM »
Quote
the cows are real.

But not the silly vampire cows!

Or is there a story there that requires me to apologise to you and then be afraid of Moos in the dark?
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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for awhile.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life...

Offline morningAngel

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #18 on: March 31, 2008, 11:53:23 PM »
Quote from: asdf2231 on March 31, 2008, 11:13:40 PM
Quote
the cows are real.

But not the silly vampire cows!

Or is there a story there that requires me to apologise to you and then be afraid of Moos in the dark?
we've talked about this, you keep scaring him with the cow pictures and you are dealing with the nightmares!
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Offline DumbAss Tanker

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #19 on: April 01, 2008, 05:33:02 AM »
Think of it as a temporary layoff, not a firing.  You'll be back at work as soon as the Boss reaches ROP on sammiches.

 :-)
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Offline jtyangel

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #20 on: April 01, 2008, 05:46:23 AM »
My almost 4 year old fires his parents regularly. He says he wants us to leave 'his house'. When either of us goes to put on our coat or shoes and says, "Ok, we'll see you later then." He starts crying "no" and barricades the door.  :evillaugh:
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Offline bijou

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #21 on: April 01, 2008, 06:59:44 AM »
So if you're fired can you claim welfare payments?  :-)
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Offline VivisMom

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #22 on: April 01, 2008, 07:33:09 AM »
Ah, I can't WAIT for my kid to say that to me. The fun I could have knows no limits.  :naughty:
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Offline Chris_

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #23 on: April 01, 2008, 07:35:35 AM »
Quote from: VivisMom on April 01, 2008, 07:33:09 AM
Ah, I can't WAIT for my kid to say that to me. The fun I could have knows no limits.  :naughty:
When I was in high school, my mother tried going on strike.  It didn't last very long...she was very OCD about keeping everything in the house in perfect condition.  We easily out-lasted her.   :-)
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Offline VivisMom

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Re: I've been fired!
« Reply #24 on: April 01, 2008, 08:01:15 AM »
Quote from: lug-nut on April 01, 2008, 07:35:35 AM
Quote from: VivisMom on April 01, 2008, 07:33:09 AM
Ah, I can't WAIT for my kid to say that to me. The fun I could have knows no limits.  :naughty:
When I was in high school, my mother tried going on strike.  It didn't last very long...she was very OCD about keeping everything in the house in perfect condition.  We easily out-lasted her.   :-)

That might get me (eventually-I'm not really OCD about cleaning), but I think when the kid ran out of food or clean clothes, I'd be rehired.  :-)
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