Has anyone ever cut off family members?

[Carl]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x9441731

CoffeeCat Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Tue Nov-02-10 11:29 AM
Original message
Has anyone ever cut off family members?
   
Edited on Tue Nov-02-10 11:30 AM by CoffeeCat
I was reading through a thread about a DUer who cut off friends, because
they were bigots and used hateful language against gay people and also
minorities. Another poster said they had cut off family members as well.

I was wondering if others had ever cut out family members (totally or temporarily)
due to differences?

I have cut out most of my family of origin and haven't spoken to them in nearly a
decade. My decision had nothing to do with politics.

At times I feel very alone, because this was such a big decision and one that seems
to be fairly uncommon. I am wondering about other DUers who may have cut off family
members--and how you deal with it.

Whether or not you chose to cut off for reasons regarding beliefs, unresolved
conflicts or other circumstances--it is an emotional roller coaster and usually
not a decision made lightly.

babylonsister Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Tue Nov-02-10 11:30 AM
Response to Original message
1. Yep, both brothers, all because they're faux lovers; we see
   
eye to eye on nothing.

ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Tue Nov-02-10 11:32 AM
Response to Original message
4. I still love him, but he's not my facebook friend anymore. In fact, I had
   
to block him because he took it to messaging me after I unfriended him.

Poboy Donating Member (887 posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Tue Nov-02-10 11:32 AM
Response to Original message
5. Yep. Most of my family as a matter of fact.
   
Neighbors and friends as well. I have had ENOUGH of the BULLSHIT and idiocy.

I may die alone, but **** it. I will not suffer the bullshit any more.

monmouth Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Tue Nov-02-10 11:32 AM
Response to Original message
6. Lifetime friends and many relatives. Bigots and racists all. ..n/t

no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Tue Nov-02-10 11:33 AM
Response to Original message
9. My cousin cut off his mother (my mother's sister) and is living in a
   
kind of witness protection program where she has no idea where he is living, his phone number, etc.

Having my own conflicts with her, I don't blame my cousin a bit.

What the?

uncommon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Tue Nov-02-10 11:35 AM
Response to Original message
18. Yes.
   
But only when it is really necessary.

seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Tue Nov-02-10 11:39 AM
Response to Original message
24. during 2004, hubby told my family NO politics in our house. since our house is the only place
   
my family meet up, basicaly saying... no politics. i have used it since with brothers.

both are bigots and homophobic, and i shut them up and shut them down fast. tell them i wont listen to that shit, makes me sick.

no

i wont cutt off family. i love them too. in ALL their nonperfection

This person really needs to go back to first grade and learn writing and sentence structure all over again.

CountAllVotes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Tue Nov-02-10 11:41 AM
Response to Original message
29. an assortment of people
   
Not much family left here but I had to dump a few "friends" because of this crap. Most recently, an old friend I've known for years I've discovered has had her mind poisoned by her husband who lost a load in the stock market - no more "splurges" for them on fancy vacations overseas, nope. She refers to Pres. Obama as "Mr. O" whatever that is intended to mean.

Another one in Tennessee, nothing but a drunk so no big loss there *sigh* of relief.

I don't miss any of these people as I cannot stand racists! They make me SICK

Mz Pip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Tue Nov-02-10 11:41 AM
Response to Original message
30. I did
   
and it took me years to do it.

I don't have a large family and a number of years ago I reconnected with a cousin I hadn't been in contact with in years, other than the obligatory Christmas card. Email made more frequent communications possible. It was fine for a while but after 9/11 she started with all the nationalist, anti-Democrats, anti-anyone who disagrees with BushCo. Most of it was BS based on lies. I debunked and provided links and kept up the civility.

When Obama got the nomination I started getting stuff that was downright racist. When he won it got worse. And that was that. I told her to stop sending me that crap and that was the end of the relationship and any contact from there on out. She even stopped sending the silly Maxine jokes.

You may not be able to choose your relatives but you can make the choice about whether or not to associate with them.

So it goes.

cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Tue Nov-02-10 11:41 AM
Response to Original message
31. I talk to my sister but haven't talked to my brother in years and my mother
   
and I haven't spoken in decades.

My family is more shark than mammal..born live, starving and each swims off alone immediately.

We are not good company for each other.

mrs_p Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Tue Nov-02-10 11:50 AM
Response to Original message
37. yes, my father
   
my aunties no longer try to push reconciliation, thank gods. he is a tea-bagger through and through and worships at the alter of the GOP. in fact his holy trinity is ronnie, bush, and bush. also, he is a mean drunk (which he is most of the time) and a violent person. my sister and i had to make the decision to cut him off. sometimes it is hard since i was raised to be a forgiving person - but whenever i have given him another chance, he finds a way to blow it... the whole situation sucks for everyone in the family. however, there has to be a point when we no longer let ourselves be punching bags for others (literally and figuratively).

More holes in all these stories then one can count.
What a fine bunch of miserable people.

[Ballygrl]

My Cousin is very Progressive and I still love him, would never cut him off.

[Ralph Wiggum]

I'd be willing to bet most DUmmies are cut off from their families for reasons other than just politics.

[Linda]

But isn't that a shot in the arm for the party of tolerance and diversity?
I would make bets most of them were cut off by their family members (for being nut cases) before I believe these nut cases cut off their family members...(I mean who else lets you sponge off of them more than family does? So why cut off the arm that feeds you?)

[jukin]

Just like the people in the kooky ranch thinking they are the sane ones.

[thundley4]

DUmmies cut off their families and then need to rely on the government for anything and everything.  That's a big difference between us and them.

[diesel driver]

I've cut off about 1/2 inch of one of my own members (end of left hand ring finger), but never my family members.

Families love you no matter what, unless you're a DUmmie!

[delilahmused]

These people have got to be the worst judges of character in history. How can they know someone for "decades" and suddenly discover they were a...wait for it...your catchall DUmmie accusation...RACIST!!!!

Why would anyone cut people off for such shallow, stupid reasons? I have friends and relatives of all political stripes. Why would I give up such beautiful, messy, complicated relationships that add so much to my life just because someone didn't hold the same political beliefs as I do. Politics is important but when I'm having a hard time and need to vent or have something wonderful I have to share, I generally don't call and leave messages on my representatives phone. Heck my best friend is gay and (obviously) very liberal. I appreciate his point of view and have watched them evolve over the years. They're genuine. He gets a kick out of what he calls my "quirky conservatism". We talk about politics for about 5 minutes when we talk. We've got over 30 years of memories and life between us, what the hell do I care who he chooses when he votes?

I've disowned one person in my entire life and that was my mother's father. But he was a pedophile. Oh, and in his young adulthood (back in the 30's-40's) a member of the KKK...but it was, evidently, just kind of a "social club" and everyone was doing it. Another thing...he was (until the day he died) a DEMOCRAT. Along with all the other white-sheeted bastards. So, there you have it, the only racist I've ever known was a lefty. Bet the creep also voted for Woodrow Wilson.

Cindie

[blitzkrieg_17]

I sense much bounciness in that thread.

[dandi]

That's just sad and sick. There are valid reasons why one might become estranged from a family member, but politics shouldn't be one of them. If your love for a mother, father, brother, sister or child is that tenuous, then who can you love? Even a couple of my former brothers-in-arms inexplicably turned to liberalism years ago, but they are still my closest friends.

Just one more reason why I cannot trust self-described "progressives" to make decisions regarding my welfare and that of my loved ones. They would happily exclude those who don't pass their purity tests.

[blitzkrieg_17]

Just one more reason why I cannot trust self-described "progressives" to make decisions regarding my welfare and that of my loved ones.

Those decision are exclusively yours to make anyway. Not for ANY politician to make.

[IassaFTots]

That's just sad and sick. There are valid reasons why one might become estranged from a family member, but politics shouldn't be one of them. If your love for a mother, father, brother, sister or child is that tenuous, then who can you love? Even a couple of my former brothers-in-arms inexplicably turned to liberalism years ago, but they are still my closest friends.

Just one more reason why I cannot trust self-described "progressives" to make decisions regarding my welfare and that of my loved ones. They would happily exclude those who don't pass their purity tests.

Exactly what you said. Exactly.  

[soleil]

I can't imagine cutting out family members because of politics. That is absurd. And sad. The only way I could ever even imagine cutting out some of my family members is if they were abusive to me, my husband and most of all, my child. And it would have to be something really ugly for that to happen. Life is too damned short.

[PatriotGame]

babylonsister Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Tue Nov-02-10 11:30 AM
Response to Original message
1. Yep, both brothers, all because they're faux lovers; we see
   
eye to eye on nothing.

How terribly, terribly sad - alienate your own flesh and blood over politics and a cable TV news show. You are the epitome of weak minded, vindictive, petty, shallow emotional disorders.
I'm watching Alien, the 1st movie on AMC right now - how apropos...

[AllosaursRus]

mrs_p Donating Member (1000+ posts)  Journal Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Tue Nov-02-10 11:50 AM
Response to Original message
37. yes, my father
   
my aunties no longer try to push reconciliation, thank gods. he is a tea-bagger through and through and worships at the alter of the GOP. in fact his holy trinity is ronnie, bush, and bush. also, he is a mean drunk (which he is most of the time) and a violent person. my sister and i had to make the decision to cut him off. sometimes it is hard since i was raised to be a forgiving person - but whenever i have given him another chance, he finds a way to blow it... the whole situation sucks for everyone in the family. however, there has to be a point when we no longer let ourselves be punching bags for others (literally and figuratively).

Incredible! Your own Father! What a POS!

[true_blood]

Poboy Donating Member (887 posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view this author's profile Click to add this author to your buddy list Click to add this author to your Ignore list    Tue Nov-02-10 11:32 AM
Response to Original message
5. Yep. Most of my family as a matter of fact. Neighbors and friends as well. I have had ENOUGH of the BULLSHIT and idiocy.
I may die alone, but **** it. I will not suffer the bullshit any more.

I see this DUmmie forgot to hit the bong before posting on DUmmyland.

[Ree]

I've cut myself off from family members...Not over politics, family shit to save what little sanity I have left...

[Evil_Conservative]

This hits close to home for me.

I have cut off my sister, three cousins, and one aunt. 

It all had to do with my miscarriage.  Two of the three cousins (all sisters) called me nasty names and insulted me every chance they could get.  Then my sister started in with the insults.  I let my sister stick around for awhile.  She's my sister.  I told her what she was doing was wrong.  She stopped the mudslinging for awhile, but started again so I was done.  I had enough.

My aunt (my cousin's mom) got pissed off at me because she ASSumed something I said on Facebook (OH NOES!) was about one of her kids.  She said all sorts of nasty things to me, and then tried to act as if none of it happened. 

Do I enjoy having half of my family gone?  Nope.  But they were bringing me down.  I was depressed and they made me feel like my entire family was against me. 

I'd never cut off a family member because of their political stances though.