The new DUmmie doctors will get a 6 weeks training course in advanced medicine right after they finish their GED.
You go in with a broken leg and the doctor tells you, "You have a broken leg, I can tell because it's pointing in the wrong direction. Here's a broken broom handle, 12 feet of duct tape and 2 aspirin, come back in a few months so we can see how you're doing......if you live that long."