Absolute Worst Date Ever

[Carl]

Met a lady through phone conversations at work and after a couple of lunch meetups in my town we had a real "date"

The day before she had still not let me know an address or place to meet and had to ask,should have forgotten it at that point.
Got to her place the next night and was informed that after dinner we were going to have to pick up her sister at the local airport and that she was a real bitch.

Had dinner which was okay and then on to the airport.
Her sisters flight came in fine and we headed to a nearby bar.

It was shoulder to shoulder in the place and music so loud you had to scream to hear yourself.
That didn`t prove to be a real issue as for the next 2 hours sat there as a stranger while they talked to each other,don`t remember now if either even spoke to me at that point.

Really fun evening.

[Doc]

Met a lady through phone conversations at work and after a couple of lunch meetups in my town we had a real "date"

The day before she had still not let me know an address or place to meet and had to ask,should have forgotten it at that point.
Got to her place the next night and was informed that after dinner we were going to have to pick up her sister at the local airport and that she was a real bitch.

Had dinner which was okay and then on to the airport.
Her sisters flight came in fine and we headed to a nearby bar.

It was shoulder to shoulder in the place and music so loud you had to scream to hear yourself.
That didn`t prove to be a real issue as for the next 2 hours sat there as a stranger while they talked to each other,don`t remember now if either even spoke to me at that point.

Really fun evening.

Wow, sounds rad.  Or whatever the young people are calling it these days.
I don't need the sarcasm tag, do I?

[Boudicca]

A roommate and his girlfriend decided to set me up with some bimbo friend of hers, with whom I had nothing in common (Including language, she was German and let us say not exactly a Gymnasium candidate for those familiar with what that means, though I spoke German well enough to get around decently for most purposes). Also I might add without checking to see if I was interested first.  On top of that she was at best a C+ on th bod and a C- on the face and hair even with beer goggles.  Dismal experience.

My old mentor, MSG Wood, our BN Master Gunner, a few months before had told me a tale about a troop he'd known who had gone through the ranks and been commissioned in OCS, whose Colonel was trying to fix him up with a homely daughter to marry her off.  The young officer normally behaved himself, but got pretty plastered at some dining-in (Which in those days were basically drunken revels instead of the PC modern version) and told the Colonel "Sir, with all due respect, I'll pick my own pigs, thank you!" 

So that's what I told my roomie afterward.      

I MISS dinings-in and the drunken revelry.  When I came in during 1979 it was partay all the time you weren't working your ass off in the field or garrison.  Nowadays troops have to stay sober.
I'm guessing the colonel didn't give the OCS lieutenant a very good eval report.

[DumbAss Tanker]

My guess is that he was happier with the bad OER than married to the Colonel's ugly daughter!

 

[Boudicca]

My guess is that he was happier with the bad OER than married to the Colonel's ugly daughter!

 

Yeah, paper bags aren't always available when you need 'em.

[Dagny]

A blind date with another couple to a Bon Jovi/Cinderella concert. (Yeah, ya'll are jealous.)

The guy never spoke to me until the concert was over and that was to say "I'm gonna be sick."  Which was right before he jettisoned a stomachful of vodka and OJ into my lap.  And onto my new Bon Jovi t-shirt.  Bastard.

A close second (or perhaps tied) would be another concert date.  This one was to see the Smashing Pumpkins.  That lovely gentleman led me, against my protestations, into the mosh pit where he promptly disappeared and I was kicked in the face by a size 13 Doc Martin.  When I finally crawled (literally) my way out, I saw Prince Charming being led away by police. 

Long story short, he had the car keys in his pocket and I was stranded in a strange city in a seedy Waffle House all night.

Needless to say, we never went out again.

You know, there are some things I really don't miss about my teens and twenties.

[jtyangel]

Mine was with the football "star" between a break up of my husband (then boyfriend) and me. He went on to be a big shot football player with OU but was a total dork of a date. He gave me his OU football jersey (year 1985) but i gave it back to him. He was hot though. Funny thing, he was the most boring date ever but bothers my husband the most out of everyone i have dated to this day.

I am drunk by the way, please excuse my typos.   

Don't feel bad. The spiced wine is flowing so i'm sure i'll be doing the same before long.

[jtyangel]

Mid-boink she answered the phone
I win

Did you ever consider if she'd answer the phone during that, maybe that wasn't her most stellar date either?   My gosh, who does that? lol

(to clarify if she was answering the phone mid boink, she didn't have any respect for you or the guy she was doing...good riddance to bad rubbish my friend)

[jtyangel]

A blind date with another couple to a Bon Jovi/Cinderella concert. (Yeah, ya'll are jealous.)

The guy never spoke to me until the concert was over and that was to say "I'm gonna be sick."  Which was right before he jettisoned a stomachful of vodka and OJ into my lap.  And onto my new Bon Jovi t-shirt.  Bastard.

A close second (or perhaps tied) would be another concert date.  This one was to see the Smashing Pumpkins.  That lovely gentleman led me, against my protestations, into the mosh pit where he promptly disappeared and I was kicked in the face by a size 13 Doc Martin.  When I finally crawled (literally) my way out, I saw Prince Charming being led away by police. 

Long story short, he had the car keys in his pocket and I was stranded in a strange city in a seedy Waffle House all night.

Needless to say, we never went out again.

You know, there are some things I really don't miss about my teens and twenties.

I think we live parallel lives 

[Boudicca]

A blind date with another couple to a Bon Jovi/Cinderella concert. (Yeah, ya'll are jealous.)

The guy never spoke to me until the concert was over and that was to say "I'm gonna be sick."  Which was right before he jettisoned a stomachful of vodka and OJ into my lap.  And onto my new Bon Jovi t-shirt.  Bastard.

A close second (or perhaps tied) would be another concert date.  This one was to see the Smashing Pumpkins.  That lovely gentleman led me, against my protestations, into the mosh pit where he promptly disappeared and I was kicked in the face by a size 13 Doc Martin.  When I finally crawled (literally) my way out, I saw Prince Charming being led away by police. 

Long story short, he had the car keys in his pocket and I was stranded in a strange city in a seedy Waffle House all night.

Needless to say, we never went out again.

You know, there are some things I really don't miss about my teens and twenties.

LOL, you might have Big Don beat as the biggest loser.

[Eupher]

I was branching out a few years after a particularly painful divorce and thus became familiar with "match.com".

This was probably 12-13 years ago or so and the software probably wasn't all that well developed. I've not looked at match.com since that time and I've never gone to eharmony.com to see how they operate, but let's just say I ran across someone's entry that I thought might be okay.

Traveled about 50 miles to Rockford, IL for the "date" in a local Steak 'n Shake. At this stage, after a couple of phone calls, I was thinking this was a losing proposition, but thought I'd have to see this critter up close and personal before rendering a final judgment. This was worthy only of a Steak 'n Shake during a lunch break. She agreed.

After the preliminary grip and grin, this 3 on a scale of  1 - 10 proceeded to tell me about how she was a single mom with about 3 kids under the age of 5 (3 different daddies, apparently); how the daddies don't pony up child support; how her life was ruined after a false positive of HIV; and how much her job as a waitress in a Waffle House sucked.

I don't think I said but 3 words during the entire exchange. Needless to say, I "lost" her number.

[Ree]

Mid-boink she answered the phone
I win

BTDT..... :innocent:
Try channel surfing mid-boink

[njpines]

Mid-boink she answered the phone
I win

OMG, that was YOU???????






 

[thundley4]

OMG, that was YOU???????






 

[vesta111]

When you get to my age there are so many to choose from---so I will choose my most embarrassing date.

I went on a blind date with my best friend and her future husband who was a Sub sailor.

We were just at drinking age so we hit the Sub bars for dinner and drinks, dancing and had a really good time.

On the way home we stopped at a freaking lighthouse in Maine ---went parking-- but we just sat there and talked.

I and my friend after all that beer needed to Pee, we climbed down some rocks out of sight of the car, my friend found a level rock I was in a jumble of rocks.

Ended up, I peed in my shoe.    Going back climbing back up every step I took squished, step squish, step squish.

Damn my date was driving, it was November so he put on the heat under my feet.

Soon as we headed home to drop me off this strange smell came up, and I began to freak, now what.?    Off the top of my head I asked my date if he owned a cat, or if a cat had gotten under the hood of his car.

Well I bitched,  put the window down with my date apologising for 10 miles.  My friend in the back seat had her window down also she had no idea where the smell was coming from.

Yes I dated him for some time until he went home for Xmas vacation and his roommate who I had met called me ask if I wanted to go to Boston for a show.--------I married the roommate and received a wonderful son from him.

Lessons are hard sometimes but I taught my daughters to never squat and pee on uneven ground.

   

[THA HOUSTON PIMP IS IN DA HOUZ!]

Mid-boink she answered the phone
I win

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn


 

[Boudicca]

When you get to my age there are so many to choose from---so I will choose my most embarrassing date.

I went on a blind date with my best friend and her future husband who was a Sub sailor.

We were just at drinking age so we hit the Sub bars for dinner and drinks, dancing and had a really good time.

On the way home we stopped at a freaking lighthouse in Maine ---went parking-- but we just sat there and talked.

I and my friend after all that beer needed to Pee, we climbed down some rocks out of sight of the car, my friend found a level rock I was in a jumble of rocks.

Ended up, I peed in my shoe.    Going back climbing back up every step I took squished, step squish, step squish.

Damn my date was driving, it was November so he put on the heat under my feet.

Soon as we headed home to drop me off this strange smell came up, and I began to freak, now what.?    Off the top of my head I asked my date if he owned a cat, or if a cat had gotten under the hood of his car.

Well I bitched,  put the window down with my date apologising for 10 miles.  My friend in the back seat had her window down also she had no idea where the smell was coming from.

Yes I dated him for some time until he went home for Xmas vacation and his roommate who I had met called me ask if I wanted to go to Boston for a show.--------I married the roommate and received a wonderful son from him.

Lessons are hard sometimes but I taught my daughters to never squat and pee on uneven ground.

   

  :lmao:I remember having to squat and pee many a time out in the field while I was in the Army.  Guys REALLY don't appreciate a woman's sense of balance enough, I don't think.

[Boudicca]

BTDT..... :innocent:
Try channel surfing mid-boink

Well, it wasn't a date per se, but my first husband decided he could boink me and watch the Super Bowl at the same time.
That marriage did NOT last long at all.

[crockspot]

I was branching out a few years after a particularly painful divorce and thus became familiar with "match.com".

This was probably 12-13 years ago or so and the software probably wasn't all that well developed. I've not looked at match.com since that time and I've never gone to eharmony.com to see how they operate, but let's just say I ran across someone's entry that I thought might be okay.

Traveled about 50 miles to Rockford, IL for the "date" in a local Steak 'n Shake. At this stage, after a couple of phone calls, I was thinking this was a losing proposition, but thought I'd have to see this critter up close and personal before rendering a final judgment. This was worthy only of a Steak 'n Shake during a lunch break. She agreed.

After the preliminary grip and grin, this 3 on a scale of  1 - 10 proceeded to tell me about how she was a single mom with about 3 kids under the age of 5 (3 different daddies, apparently); how the daddies don't pony up child support; how her life was ruined after a false positive of HIV; and how much her job as a waitress in a Waffle House sucked.

I don't think I said but 3 words during the entire exchange. Needless to say, I "lost" her number.

That story reminds me of the time my older brother took me to a strip bar in Flagstaff AZ... The dancers were pretty heinous. One came to give us a table dance, and proceeded to tell us her world of troubles about her kids, her deadbeat ex, etc,.... My brother tipped her big to go dance for someone else. 

[Revolution]

I once had a date I took to Olive Garden that told me halfway through the meal "I'm gonna have to sh*t tonight!"

She also later informed me that she was married, or getting out of a marriage. I don't remember which. It was about 2 1/2-3 years ago, and I've been trying to forget.

[Chris_]

I once had a date I took to Olive Garden that told me halfway through the meal "I'm gonna have to sh*t tonight!"

classy broad.

[Revolution]

Yeah, I took the rest of the date like a Champion. Finished it, but I never saw her again...ever.

[Eupher]

:lmao:I remember having to squat and pee many a time out in the field while I was in the Army.  Guys REALLY don't appreciate a woman's sense of balance enough, I don't think.

Well, there IS the other body function which can't shouldn't be done standing up.

Sometimes there just ain't time to dig a slit trench. Ya just gotta let 'er rip. And sometimes, the rip takes a different direction than planned.            

[soleil]

It was with some dude who kept telling me over and over and over and over that I was the prettiest girl he'd ever met. He came off a little desperate. I was in high school. My senior year I believe. My hubby and I  must have been on a break at the time (high school sweethearts). Anyway, after that night I tried to steer clear of him. HOWEVER, he went out of his way to get my phone number, and he followed me around town when he'd see my car. I caught myself hiding out. He even chased me down. Today, I think what a psycho freak. Then I thought he was a desperate freak. Anyway, I came out unscathed, and if you ever see a dude named L.J., STEAR CLEAR.

[Boudicca]

It was with some dude who kept telling me over and over and over and over that I was the prettiest girl he'd ever met. He came off a little desperate. I was in high school. My senior year I believe. My hubby and I  must have been on a break at the time (high school sweethearts). Anyway, after that night I tried to steer clear of him. HOWEVER, he went out of his way to get my phone number, and he followed me around town when he'd see my car. I caught myself hiding out. He even chased me down. Today, I think what a psycho freak. Then I thought he was a desperate freak. Anyway, I came out unscathed, and if you ever see a dude named L.J., STEAR CLEAR.

If his initials had been R.Y. I would've thought it was the same guy.  Although I was in my early 20's.  But we dated awhile and I broke up with him, but apparently he thought if he sent enough cards, roses (left on my windshield overnight), and called and dropped by my apartment often I'd relent.  Yuck.  I didn't realize at the time he was a stalker; I was simply relieved to be reassigned to 3AD in Frankfurt.