anti-osteopathic primitive deceived about fishing gear

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x8886535

Oh my.

MineralMan  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Thu Aug-05-10 03:32 PM
THE ANTI-OSTEOPATHIC PRIMITIVE
Original message

On Taking Up A New Activity and Being Deceived   

As some of you may know, I'm an avid angler. I love fishing for largemouth bass, northern pike, panfish, walleyes, and assorted rough fish. I'm also a solid devotee of the spinning reel, and have used them exclusively for many many years, with considerable success and pleasant recreation.

So, after my recent 65th birthday, with my Mills Fleet Farm gift cards in hand and despite having plenty (more than plenty) of fishing tackle already in my arsenal, I visited the store and was browsing through the fishing tackle department.

"No," I thought, "I have plenty of those, and enough of that, and more than enough of those worthless things." I was just about to head for the men's clothing department and buy something practical, like a couple of pairs of new jeans, when something caught my right eye. Now, had it been my left eye, which is the dominant eye, I might have simply walked on, but occasionally my right eye leads me astray.

What was spotted by my right eye was a fly rod and reel, with a reduced price that seemed most attractive. Fly fishing, eh? Influenced by the right eye, I allowed myself to be sucked in by the promise of gracefully casting my line and using the most conservative form of fishing to land...well...who knows what? So, deceived by the promise of prestige and respect from other anglers, I found myself grasping this fly rod and reel. Of course, there were many other things I'd have to buy if I were going to take up this oh-so-old-fashioned method of angling. So, I bought fly line, leaders, an assortment of flies, and a few other oddments I had heard were part of this traditional, yet complex way of angling.

Doing a quick calculation in my brain (the left side, not the right, which has trouble with numbers and values for some reason), I discovered that I had reached, and even exceeded the value of the gift cards in my wallet. I would have to use some of my precious cash to fully participate in fly fishing, it seemed. I almost put the equipment back on the shelves and headed for the jeans, but, once again, my right eye got the better of me and I hauled all this gear to the cash register, where I parted with the gift cards, and some folding green.

I arrived home and showed my wife my dubious treasure, and she gave me the usual, "Oh Lord, not more fishing tackle" look -- a look with which I am more than a little familiar. I dismissed this lack of enthusiasm summarily and repaired to my "office." I assembled all my birthday loot, put line on the reel, tied a perfect nail knot (after about a dozen tries) to attach the leader to the line, and sorted my assorted flies. I would go the next day and master the art of fly fishing. I reviewed some useful information on the internet and dreamed of all the leaping smallmouth bass I would catch from the Mississippi River the next day.

Well, once again, the right side of my head was a wicked deceiver. I did get to the river this morning, tied a very pretty streamer fly to the leader, and set about to master casting with a fly rod. Not so fast! My first few attempts ended in having fly line and leader falling upon my head in a tangled heap. I tried again, and again, and finally managed to put about 25' of line, plus the leader, on the water. No bites, so I did as I had seen done on the many Youtube videos of fly casting the evening before, and smartly raised my rod to lift the line and all for a backcast, then duly waited, as I had been told to do, for the line to straighten out behind me, then smartly made the forward cast.

After I had pulled the hook in that streamer fly from the back of my right earlobe, staunched the bleeding, and partly recovered my dignity, I happened to glance up the river, only to see two gentlemen who were fishing with more sensible tackle laughing and pointing in my direction. I looked farther down the riverbank, but there was nothing laughable in that direction. I knew humiliation.

Eventually, I managed to make some decent casts, but never succeeded in having any of them intersect with a hungry smallmouth bass. Finally, after breaking off the streamer fly on a sunken branch, I decided that perhaps this fly fishing thing would have to wait for another time. I packed up and returned home, my head hanging low with the shame of it all. My wife, seeing my dejected face, wisely chose not to query me on my success.

I learned something, though, today: I must never let myself be deceived again by my right eye. It lies to me and tells me that things will be much better than they turn out to be in reality. A costly lesson, that diminished both my dignity and my wallet. Hereafter, I will trust my left eye...my dominant eye...my reliable eye. Perhaps I will donate my fly fishing tackle to some fishing club of old men who would die before touching a spinning reel. Perhaps...well...perhaps I'll just put a patch over my right eye to keep it from further deceiving me, and go in the direction of efficiency, productivity, and reason in my future angling. The left eye sees things more clearly, it seems.

CaliforniaPeggy  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Thu Aug-05-10 03:36 PM
THE CALPIG PRIMITIVE, #10 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009
Response to Original message

1. Wonderful, my dear MineralMan!   
   
We don't all get to see ourselves so clearly...

Beautifully told.

Thank you...

MineralMan  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Thu Aug-05-10 03:37 PM
THE ANTI-OSTEOPATHIC PRIMITIVE
Response to Reply #1

2. Why, thank you, Peggy!

Warpy  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Thu Aug-05-10 03:43 PM
THE DEFROCKED WARPED PRIMITIVE, #09 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009
Response to Original message

5. Your mistake wasn't the equipment, it was not going out in the back yard and practicing with something a little less lethal on the end of the line. A couple of large paper clips will do the trick.

Once you've mastered the art of getting it far out into the water (and not stuck in your ass), you're ready to go out in public. It's just eye/hand coordination and once you learn it, you never really forget, like riding a bicycle.

You might not hook anything the first few tries, especially in a river full of tough city fish who know all the tricks, but at least you won't look like an arse when you're trying.

It's a big campfire, with the primitives offering a lot of primitive suggestions on how to fish.

The anti-osteopathic primitive lives in or near St. Paul, Minnesota, and fishes alongside the river up there.

[Chris_]

These fools can't even go shopping for fishing tackle without bringing politics into it.

What a windbag.

[Wineslob]

What a fu*king tool. It takes about a year to actually learn how to flyfish. The jackass deserved a hook in the ear for not even learning how to cast before hitting the water.

[diesel driver]

What a fu*king tool. It takes about a year to actually learn how to flyfish. The jackass deserved a hook in the ear for not even learning how to cast before hitting the water.

But, but, he's a liberal AND a fisherman.  Not only do they already know it all, they lie about it as well.

[Ballygrl]

Warpy  Donating Member  (1000+ posts)  Thu Aug-05-10 03:43 PM
THE DEFROCKED WARPED PRIMITIVE, #09 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009
Response to Original message

5. Your mistake wasn't the equipment, it was not going out in the back yard and practicing with something a little less lethal on the end of the line. A couple of large paper clips will do the trick.

Once you've mastered the art of getting it far out into the water (and not stuck in your ass), you're ready to go out in public. It's just eye/hand coordination and once you learn it, you never really forget, like riding a bicycle.

You might not hook anything the first few tries, especially in a river full of tough city fish who know all the tricks, but at least you won't look like an arse when you're trying.

[Ballygrl]

What a fu*king tool. It takes about a year to actually learn how to flyfish. The jackass deserved a hook in the ear for not even learning how to cast before hitting the water.

So basically we have another Progressive with an over-inflated ego, who most likely thought fly fishing can't be hard at all. And if he wants to make this into a political argument then we can too, we could make the analogy that his comments can compare to the mid-term elections, the rod and reel are the Democrats, the fishing line is the US Treasury, the bait is.........name any Democratic Women in the Administration or Helen Thomas, and the Bass are the American people who refuse to take the bait, and the fishing line becomes entangled with the rod and reel and you have nothing but a bumbling mess.

[AllosaursRus]

What a fu*king tool. It takes about a year to actually learn how to flyfish. The jackass deserved a hook in the ear for not even learning how to cast before hitting the water.

I got news for the DUmbass, if you don't hook your ear, your hat, the buddy standing too close, within the first coupla years several times, you ain't doin' it right! The hardest part is tryin' to keep from snappin' the fly off on the backstroke! Tends to make one learn the art of tyin' flies, since them lil' buggers can cost ya a fortune in very little time!

One other suggestion, DUmbass. Buy a good pair of chest waders, as castin' off the bank where you're used to sleepin' waitin' on one to "bite" is a real pain!

Somehow I find it hard to believe a DUmmie could understand the physics in play in order to fly fish! After all it takes grace and patience, somethin' a DUmbass has absolutely none of!

Glad to see he's buyin' stuff with our money to stimulate Bummer's economy though.

[vesta111]

So basically we have another Progressive with an over-inflated ego, who most likely thought fly fishing can't be hard at all. And if he wants to make this into a political argument then we can too, we could make the analogy that his comments can compare to the mid-term elections, the rod and reel are the Democrats, the fishing line is the US Treasury, the bait is.........name any Democratic Women in the Administration or Helen Thomas, and the Bass are the American people who refuse to take the bait, and the fishing line becomes entangled with the rod and reel and you have nothing but a bumbling mess.

I like that story, the writer is a real fisherman as he can spin a tale out of nothing.

Give him some slack, he is really young at heart.

A bunch of us 8-9 year olds went to Boston way back when to see the Ice Capades.

It was dead winter and when we got home we all grabbed our skates and headed for the pond.  What we had seen and admired was the effortless skating we had seen.  Most of us could skate forward and backward, but because of that show we all thought ," Say I can do that."

Important lesson in life here what looked so easy had taken others years to master with top notch teachers.     No one got hurt thank God but we were bruised and battered.

Some of us learn some don't, other things to beware of, never get on a horse for a 3 hour tour of the wilderness if you have never been within 20 feet of a horse or sat a saddle for hours at a time.  

If one has bad hemorrhoids think twice about riding a motorcycle 500 miles.

Most important, never try to sheer a sheep just because you have seen it done a few times at a County Fair.

[Ballygrl]

One other suggestion, DUmbass. Buy a good pair of chest waders, as castin' off the bank where you're used to sleepin' waitin' on one to "bite" is a real pain!

I was wondering if he had waders or not, hubby never goes fly fishing without them.

[Karin]

Hey DUmmie Mineral Man, guess who's a master fly fisher?  Dick Cheney.  I  Dick Cheney.  A million times more of a man than you. 

[AllosaursRus]

Hey DUmmie Mineral Man, guess who's a master fly fisher?  Dick Cheney.  I  Dick Cheney.  A million times more of a man than you. 

What's more, I'd go huntin' bird with him anytime!!!!!!11

Bite that one, DUmmies! I'm sure he would be a heckuvalot safer than one of you boobs!

[crockspot]

What's more, I'd go huntin' bird with him anytime!!!!!!11

Bite that one, DUmmies! I'm sure he would be a heckuvalot safer than one of you boobs!

I'd never hunt with a liberal. They would probably find a way to start a political argument, then shoot you in the face.

[BlueStateSaint]

I'd never hunt with a liberal. They would probably find a way to start a political argument, then shoot you in the face.

The two in the deer camp I'm in, know better.

[AllosaursRus]

The two in the deer camp I'm in, know better.

I refuse to hunt with libbers! The last one that tagged along didn't spend enough time on the range and wounded a forked horn. We had to track the poor beast for almost 2 miles! Never again! Deer run downhill when wounded! Ya have to hike uphill with what's left in order to get back to camp!

I seriously thought about leaving that DUmbass in the canyon! Leaving a wounded animal is against my religion! The prick wanted to give up when it looked to difficult!

Never again!

[BlueStateSaint]

I refuse to hunt with libbers! The last one that tagged along didn't spend enough time on the range and wounded a forked horn. We had to track the poor beast for almost 2 miles! Never again! Deer run downhill when wounded! Ya have to hike uphill with what's left in order to get back to camp!

I seriously thought about leaving that DUmbass in the canyon! Leaving a wounded animal is against my religion! The prick wanted to give up when it looked to difficult!

Never again!

Well, the asshole lawyer (I know, redundant) in the camp has improved the lead and brass content of several trees on our land (but he got a bear four years ago), and so has the other one, but said second lib got two ten-pointers in one day, two years ago.  Made me want to throw the Model 7 I was carrying into the ****ing woods.  It was just dumb luck for both of the bucks.