The judge who ruled on this case is gay himself, so this ruling comes as no suprise. I just wonder if it opens the door for polygamy, since marriage isn't one man and one woman.
Why stop at number? Why not species? Why would it even have to be the same kingdom? What if I want to marry a bacterium? Or bacteri
a--talk about your polygamy! Actually, I've been getting that warm tingly feeling for the fusobacteria--ohh, those gums--but trachoma has been giving me the eye and I'll admit to getting cold feet.
And why are only living things entitled to the benefits of matrimony? Come to think about it, what about man and woman's love for the guy buried next to their father? Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, so why can’t my neighbor marry Venus or Mars? What they do in the privacy of their own Solar system is their business, say I. That’s what makes America great.
And what about abstractions? And who says that humans have to be one party to a marriage? Maybe Purple has a secret thing for Viscosity. And has anyone seen the way Time has been looking at Conceptualization? Those two are made for each other, and it’s just heartless and mean that we’re standing in the way of true love.
All this might be too expensive to budget for. We’d be ripping the national debt a whole new event horizon, although I admit that even as I write that I can see that ripping the national debt a whole new event horizon has been married to the Democrat Party for some time, and we wouldn’t want to be adulterer(s). The judicial branch (who I just heard has proposed to Moderately Humid and Ethel the frog, the little minx) would be overrun by marriage applications; their other legitimate functions, such as securing the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and eleventy-th Constitutional rights of terrorists and preventing illegal Mexican migrants from being overrun by stubbed toes or American citizens from walking freely in America, could be severely compromised. I suggest that the cost-effective approach would be for the universe to marry itself.
But I’m drawing the line at parallel universes! Now that’s just sick.