you know, I had a sneaking suspicion all along that that paper was carcinogenic. I mean, just FEEL that stuff! Semi-crinkly, with that annoying tendency to curl up. It's got to be a death product developed by the Soviets!!!!
I can see it now....on the eastern fringes of the Caucusus, in a deep mountain cave hundreds of feet below the surface, a facility so secretive that the Russian government denies its existence.
Protected by steel-reinforced concrete 15-feet thick, hundreds of slave laborers who were once the grandchildren of those who had gone to the gulags back in Stalin's day stir the cauldrons that contain the evil product known as BPA. The workers who work directly with BPA develop pus-filled lesions within mere hours of exposure and within two weeks they're dead.
The remains are carted off to a glowing cesspool to join the others who were also relegated to working with the toxic chemical.
Turnover among the slave laborers is rather high, as can be expected. But that doesn't stop the evil guards from flaying those who utter a sound in protest at the starvation rations and filthy cells in which the slaves are kept then they're not working their 14-hour shifts, 7 days a week. Some of the longest-term prisoners have been within the facility for as much as 18 months -- these have not been sent to handle BPA as of yet.
But their time is nigh.
