liberal mouse primitive in shock

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=276x10630

Oh my.

liberalmuse  (1000+ posts)        Thu Jul-22-10 10:51 PM
THE LIBERAL MOUSE PRIMITIVE
Original message

I'm in shock - was diagnosted as bipolar II today...

Boy, that kind of came out of the blue. I'd always suspected I was crazy, but thought it was because I was so angry with the 2000 election, and then more recently, I attributed it to hormones.

I went to the doctor yesterday due to upper back pain and feeling like I was going to pass out for the past couple of days. The doctor felt my back and said my muscles were all tensed up on my right side. Then it came up that I hadn't been sleeping lately, mostly due to peri menopausal symptoms (night sweats, heart pounding, anxiety about work, etc.). Then the doctor asked about my family history (lots of crazy, suicides) and I mentioned that I'd been having mood swings starting about the same time as the menopausal symptoms - about a month ago. I'd always gotten sort of manic every few weeks where I have tons of energy and more creativity than usual but had attributed that to the full moon or something. I'd also been depressed since I moved up here to Washington because there is NO. ****ing. Sun. most of the time. And I have a very high stress job that I absolutely loathe, but I am 47 and not exactly ripe for the job market - and lucky to have a job in this economy.

Next thing I know, my doctor is prescribing Clonezapam to help me sleep, then I get set up for an appointment today where I was officially diagnosed as bipolar II with mood swings, and was prescribed Lithium. WTF??? I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone other than the people on this anonymous forum. I'm afraid to take the Lithium. I don't want to be a zombie, but I also know I've been a mess lately. I'd always suspected and joked about being nuts, but I guess this proves it. Is anyone here taking Lithium? I'm a bit scared.

Forkboy  (1000+ posts)      Fri Jul-23-10 07:05 AM
THE FORKED PRIMITIVE, WHO DOESN'T KNOW EXCRESENCE ABOUT SPORTS
Response to Original message

1. I wouldn't take the lithium when they wanted me too...

...but only because I had no desire to get blood drawn once a month to keep checking my kidney functions. I know people who have taken it though with no troubles at all (my father was on it for quite awhile). I'm just asocial and try to limit my exposure to other humans.

If you're really worried about it tell your doctor, because there's a whole slew of other meds they can try instead. They all seem to be a mixed bag, offering some good and some bad. None have really worked for me too well, but some have had a slight positive effect. I had decent luck with Lamictal, but you have to be careful as you start it and slowly build up to the dosage you'll need. I had the worst luck with Paxil and Depakote. But again, we're all so different that one med can mess up one person and totally help another. Give one some time, and if you don't like it try a different one. The zombie effect gets to me too, and that's why I switch around.

I've been on various meds for 6 years now, but three months ago I stopped them entirely...and I thinking this last week that it was a mistake. The trouble is, I truly enjoy being manic. It's when I feel like I'm actually me, like it's the closest to the real me. I love the energy, I love the creativity, I love the lucid thinking...but the lack of sleep is an issue. After 3-5 days minus any sleep being manic takes it's toll. Ideally, I could be manic for 18 hours a day and then flip a switch and shut it down so I could sleep for the other 6. I don't think there's a med for that though.

To be honest, the thing that works better than all the meds I've tried is marijuana. Helps me sleep, helps take the edge off the mania just enough to concentrate and focus, gives me an appetite, etc. And it makes music sound even cooler as well! Too bad I can't afford it.

GreenPartyVoter  (1000+ posts)        Fri Jul-23-10 02:15 PM
Response to Reply #1
 
3. I hear that, but I only want the euphoric mania not the panicky one or the one where I could crawl out of my skin or kill myself. Stupid brain chemistry. I don't even know what normal is.

GreenPartyVoter  (1000+ posts)        Fri Jul-23-10 02:12 PM
Response to Original message

2. Welcome to the club. I won't take Lithium because it scares me too. I worry about not drinking enough while on it, and because of my colitis. If you don't want the Lithium tell them so and maybe they will try you with something else.

BTW, I was a really late diagnosis too, because they didn't have a BP2 diagnosis when I was younger. (I even tried to tell my shrink back in college that I thought I was bipolar and he said no, no you have anxiety and depression with some panic issues.) *sigh* So anyway, it's not a moral failing or bad character on your part. Just a screwy brain chemistry. Not your fault.

liberalmuse  (1000+ posts)        Sat Jul-24-10 10:56 AM
THE LIBERAL MOUSE PRIMITIVE
Response to Original message

4. I appreciate the responses...

It helps to know what others think about this, and that you're not alone. Thank you!

I think I'm going to hold off on taking any more Lithium unless I feel a real loss of control coming on. My main issue is anxiety (mostly from my job) and not being able to sleep many nights (again, because of stressing over my job). The mania I get used to help with creativity - I do mosaic art, and it helps to get in 'the zone'. Problem is, with the peri-menopause added in, 'the zone' is more frustrating than creative these days. Freakin' hormones!

I didn't take the Clanezapam last night and slept okay, but was still up several times drinking water, then emptying the bladder because I had taken the Lithium the night before. I just hate prescription drugs, but have been known to 'self-medicate' with alcohol, which I try not to do these days. I'll tell you though, the side effects of alcohol seem better than the Lithium - but then you can't go anywhere if you drink. To be honest, I felt very uncomfortable driving yesterday after taking Lithium. I even went over a curb trying to park. NOT good. That one dose made me feel weird - like I was going to tip over to the side. That came and went throughout the day.

Odin2005  (1000+ posts)        Sun Jul-25-10 03:17 PM
THE PROFESSIONAL ASPERGER'S PRIMITIVE
Response to Original message

5. Don't be scared!

amyrose2712  (1000+ posts)        Mon Jul-26-10 11:41 AM
Response to Original message
 
6. Hello...

I am sure it is a little scary but you shouldn't feel embarrassed. You are not alone. Although I have not been diagnosed myself, my sister and my BF of 15 years have and I wanted to lend my support. Just know you have nothing to be ashamed of. And I don't know much about the Lithium, but the meds that they are on have made tremendous improvements in their lives. I am glad that you feel comfortable enough to talk here because the people that frequent this forum can be quite supporting and knowledgeable. Good luck. As many here would probably agree,a good relationship with your Drs is key. Best wishes.

hedgehog  (1000+ posts)      Mon Jul-26-10 05:49 PM
Response to Original message
 
7. It sounds like you need a second opinion and an appointment with a doctor you trust who will take the time to talk to you. If you are bipolar, the problem is that you can slip into mania without realizing you're getting yourself into trouble. "I don't need those pills, I'm doing perfectly fine. In fact, I'm feeling so good I think I'll spend the week-end in Vegas......" If you are bipolar, you need to be able to talk with someone in person about what's going on in your life and in your head.

FWIW, I do know someone who has been taking lithium for several years. She leads a normal, active & creative life. Lithium works for her, but that's no guarantee it'll work for you. Again, my advice is to get a second opinion.

On edit: a psychologist or psychiatric nurse can do the talking and a doctor do the prescribing.

[Carl]

So nice to be constantly lectured on how we should act and what we should believe by a group that almost unanimously claim to be mentally deranged and proud of it.

[USA4ME]

liberalmuse

I don't want to be a zombie

Too late.

If there's ever been a group where the Lithium prescription needs to read "Take 10 anytime you want to," it's the primitives.


.

[diesel driver]

Too late.

If there's ever been a group where the Lithium prescription needs to read "Take 10 anytime you want to," it's the primitives.


.

I'm definitely buying some pharmaceutical stock before the Nov. elections.

[DumbAss Tanker]

Even without the posts admitting it, I think we already knew a lot of them weren't really taking their meds.

[bijou]

liberalmuse  (1000+ posts)        Thu Jul-22-10 10:51 PM
THE LIBERAL MOUSE PRIMITIVE
Original message

I'm in shock - was diagnosted as bipolar II today...

Boy, that kind of came out of the blue. I'd always suspected I was crazy, but thought it was because I was so angry with the 2000 election, and then more recently, I attributed it to hormones.
SNIP

And being angry 10 years later didn't give her a hint? 

[BlueStateSaint]

And being angry 10 years later didn't give her a hint? 

 

[dandi]

Forkboy  (1000+ posts)      Fri Jul-23-10 07:05 AM
THE FORKED PRIMITIVE, WHO DOESN'T KNOW EXCRESENCE ABOUT SPORTS
Response to Original message

1. I wouldn't take the lithium when they wanted me too...

...but only because I had no desire to get blood drawn once a month to keep checking my kidney functions. I know people who have taken it though with no troubles at all (my father was on it for quite awhile). I'm just asocial and try to limit my exposure to other humans.

...

For which society is eternally grateful, because you're certainly one of the most snotty, obnoxious denizens of the DU fever swamp.

 

[BlueStateSaint]

Forkboy  (1000+ posts)      Fri Jul-23-10 07:05 AM
THE FORKED PRIMITIVE, WHO DOESN'T KNOW EXCRESENCE ABOUT SPORTS
Response to Original message

1. I wouldn't take the lithium when they wanted me too...

...but only because I had no desire to get blood drawn once a month to keep checking my kidney functions. I know people who have taken it though with no troubles at all (my father was on it for quite awhile). I'm just asocial and try to limit my exposure to other humans.

...

And we humans return the favor whenever and wherever possible.