The pickings have been pretty slim on Skins's island as of late, the primitives not putting out like they used to.
Perhaps this is a consequence of my fellow alum Skins paring back active membership by half, easing off the island those primitives not wholly enamoured of il Duce Bo. One assumes many of those primitives have floated over to the ulmic shores, the elm-infested isle.
Some many months ago, our esteemed colleague GOBUCKS mourned the fact that they don't make primitives like they used to, and perhaps GOBUCKS was right. It's all very sad.
Or perhaps it's just the mid-summer doldrums.
One longs for the days when Pedro Picasso, for example, lightened our moods as if a big meteor slowly streaking across the skies, a blazing beacon of utterly ridiculousness. As far as one knows, Pedro Picasso has not actually gone away from Skins's island; one assumes his employer doesn't want him hanging around the island, as it's bad for the Democrat fund-raising business.
(Which I always thought most peculiar; if franksolich worked for a Republican fund-raising business, and said he posted here on conservativecave, that employer would say, "Good--that's great, do more of it, keep it up." One wonders why it's different in Pedro Picasso's case.)
Or the worthless freeloading bum the wily primitive, "Wiley50," or the lazy shadowy primitive, "Shadow69." One assumes that since the affluent CalPig primitive wouldn't give the worthless freeloading bum the wily primitive a place to stay in her Streisandian-grandeured home, the worthless freeloading wily primitive is out on the streets.....or in jail, given his propensity for seeking out illicit drugs. And the wife of the lazy shadowy primitive had tossed him out of their house, denying him easy internet access.
And there's Leona Helmsley of DUmmieland, the "flyarm" primitive, who pops in every so often, but not nearly as much as she used to. Or the sensitive lad, the piano-playing primitive "goodboy," apparently working in some dead-end job in Ohio down near the border with West Virginia. Or the malicious cartoon character, the "Kelvin Mace" primitive, beset with bill-collecting telephone calls. One remembers fondly the "liberalnurse" primitive--one had hoped that on July 7, there would be a "reunion" of the Andyites, as there had been in previous years, but alas the primitives seemed to have forgotten the late red round one.
The "greenbriar" primitive of course has been hanging around Skins's island with a new disguise, but she's been only a pale imitation of her former real self. And the gigantic primitive's been shrinking from the spotlight.
One assumes the unappellated eohippus, the "Horse With no Name" primitive, has self-immolated in a spinning orgiastic frenzy of rage and Hate.
The Bostonian Drunkard was of course forcibly tossed off the island, as had been Fat Che a few years earlier. One notices Fat Che has moved from island-to-island, always a smaller one every time, so as to be a big fish.....but in a mud-puddle. And the lying tits primitive, "TominTib."
The barefooted unkind uncultured primitive, the "KyndKultur" primitive.....
The dysfunctional American primitive, the "DistressedAmerican" with his wretched "art"work.....
Mrs. Alfred Packer, the "hippywife" primitive still lingers, but not as much as she used to; it's pretty pathetic when the sparkling husband primitive, "Stinky the Clown" is now one of the top posters on Skins's island.
The racist babbling sister primitive, and the "Joanne98" primitive.....
And there's the classic primitive, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive, "Redstone".....
Where oh where are these star primitives of yesteryear, these Primitives of Yore?
This "second generation" of primitives is but a pale imitation of the first generation.
But then, perhaps it's just the mid-summer doldrums, nothing more than that. One surely hopes that's all it is.
